The Get Itachi Laid Challenge
by Twisted Vixen
Summary: Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...
1. Chapter 1

**a/n:** My first Itachi/Naruto story. Thanks goes to Imperial Mint for giving me the push to do it. :)

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina. Yes, Sasu/Hina...stop looking at me like that!

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**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 1**

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The ding of the elevator was normally ignored by the employees of Uchiha Enterprises. However, the man that stood in the elevator caused every head to turn in his direction because HE was impossible to ignore. Power and confidence oozed from his frame. Men were attracted to it. Women, and quite a few men, were attracted to HIM…Period. He was the true definition of a man – tall, dark, and very handsome. Lean strong body, endless dark eyes that seemed to look into your soul, pale flawless skin and long silky hair that rivaled and beat any female's. If one was fortunate enough to hear his voice, it was deep, smooth…like chocolate. It's been said that the clothes make the man. Well, in this case, the man made the clothes. His suit was perfectly tailored and fit him so well, some of the women drooled. He commanded attention without effort. And he got it.

But Itachi Uchiha ignored them all from the moment he stepped off the elevator. His face was set in stone as he confidently strolled toward his presidential office suite. His pink haired secretary saw him coming and smiled holding up his mail. "Good morning Mr. Uchiha." He gave her a nod and grabbed the mail and messages in one hand opening his office door with the other and disappeared from everyone's view. The moment the door closed, you could hear every woman sigh. Men glared, jealously wishing women would look at them in that way. All eyes returned to their previous positions and it was back to work as normal.

Itachi closed the door of his office and looked around with a smirk. He tossed the jacket over the chair and sat down in front of his desk. The first thing he did was change the desk calendar to today's date – June 9th. Then he looked around his office. No balloons, streamers, confetti, cake, or presents - exactly how he wanted it. He sent a memo a week ago threatening to fire anyone that so much as mentioned his birthday. Guess no one wanted to test that possibility. Last year he was given a surprise party by his office. He had scared the entire office to death with his glare and threats to maim. It seems this year they finally got the message.

He smirked as he thought about how things had gone. He was 33 years old and president of Uchiha Enterprises. He had been in the enviable position since the age of 27. However, his dear father had tried to keep this from him because he wanted his firstborn to be the one continuing the Uchiha line of geniuses before handing over the reigns. Itachi refused to be forced to do anything. Instead, he declined every date his parents or friends set up for him. Finally, his father gave him an ultimatum – Find a wife or else.

Itachi had raised an eyebrow without a hint of emotion and coolly asked him if he planned on taking the business to the grave. His father may have had a part in giving birth to him, but even he was not immune to the Itachi Uchiha glare. In the end, Itachi got what he wanted - to head Uchiha Enterprises. Sure his father continued to try to get his way - his mother kept bringing over simpering females who were supposedly of their station, his friends tried setting him up on blind dates. When it seemed he wasn't interested in the female populace, his friends started setting him up on blind dates with males.

They all gave up and stopped trying by the time he reached 30 and, to their knowledge, still had not shown a hint of libido.

That was something Itachi never really cared much about. No one had struck him that way, male or female. He was too busy to bother with the whole mess anyway. It would only bring more problems. Like he really wanted to marry some female who only considered him to be their trophy. All they would do is flaunt him to their girlfriends and spend his money on any expensive bauble that caught their eye. They'd want him to talk with them. He wondered what they could possibly talk about together. Their pathetic attempts at conversation revolved around gossip, fashion, and men. Scintillating conversation that would be. He didn't need a woman…or a man for that matter. His one and only love was his work.

Because of his attitude, he gained the moniker of The Ice King. It started as a joke. But somehow it stuck and even the newspapers and magazines referred to him that way. And Itachi LIKED it, took pride in it, reveled in using it to the fullest. It made him more intimidating.

He turned on his computer. While he waited for it to boot, he looked through his mail and phone messages.

Another female proposal – toss

An invitation to a party – toss

Pictures…naked pictures. He raised an eyebrow – toss

Ah…about time he got that proposal. He'd been waiting long enough.

Love letter – toss

A birthday card…with hearts – definitely toss

He sighed and looked through his email. Oh yes, his brother would be here today presenting some new proposal. That could be interesting. At least it would give him a chance to mess with Sasuke's head. Don't get him wrong, he loved his little brother, but making fun of him was a job he took seriously. Well, considering their brotherly relationship, maybe he should at least put out the welcome mat for him. He pressed the button on his desk phone.

"Sakura?"

Her cheery voice rang through the line. "Yes Mr. Uchiha?"

"Please make sure the conference room is prepared for 2 pm."

"Do you need any equipment?"

"Just a projector."

"I'll take care of it sir."

"Also, when my brother decides to arrive, please send him in."

"Yes sir."

He leaned back in the chair and stretched his hands behind his head. Yes…work was all he needed.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha was glaring out of his office window. The dobe was late. Again. And they had a meeting with his brother on the other side of town in an hour. Yes, brother. Itachi. The Ice King. Enough said. He brushed a lock of hair out of his face as he looked out the window over the city. He had worked so hard to get where he is now.

He and his brother competed over everything. Well really, if he admitted it to himself, there really was no competition. Itachi excelled at pretty much everything. Success came easily to his older brother. It was annoying how easy. It was like he was born to it. Itachi had such a knack for business that he could almost predict the moves before they happened. On the other hand, he had to work a bit harder to get what he wanted. It didn't mean he wasn't a genius. Obviously he came from great genes. The Uchiha family was tailor made for business. However, there are different levels of genius. Itachi just happened to be on the top end of the spectrum. He was gifted at anything and everything. He was groomed to be in his position from the day he was born.

Number-crunching, planning, and the like - that was what he was good at. When merger talks first began with Hyuuga Inc., Itachi was the smooth talker. However, he was the one who took care of the contracts. It wasn't that Itachi couldn't have done it himself, but he didn't want to. So, that became his job. After much deliberation, the Hyuuga's agreed, the two companies merged, and somehow he ended up with a wife in the contract. He smirked a bit at that. Maybe he should've been a bit more displeased at the idea of his life being written up for him, but he couldn't help but be a little bit happy about it. He wasn't the most social person, there was no denying that. He probably would've never really actively pursued a romantic relationship on his own. That was probably one of the few things he and his brother had in common. But that problem was taken care of for him. Besides, Itachi had always beaten him at everything. For once, at least, he could be ahead of his older brother in something. And considering Itachi's asexual nature, his brother wouldn't be catching up anytime soon.

_'Where is that dobe? I'm gonna kill him.'_

He may act like he's mad, but really, he loves the idiot like a little brother, albeit an annoying one. Naruto Uzumaki. The number one most unpredictable knuckleheaded businessman he's ever met. It all began after his father first gave him the project of smoothing the transition from Hyuuga Inc. to Uchiha Enterprises. This blond, blue eyed, enigma showed up one day - no appointment, not even dressed for an interview, asking for a job. He walked into the building at the exact moment five guards were about to toss the man out the front door. He still wasn't sure what made him stop them. Maybe it was those eyes...they really were something to behold. They held such innocence, yet so much fire. He ended up taking the blonde up to his office.

And the rest, you could say, is history.

He was loud, obnoxious, almost bordering on rude at times. He had no experience in business whatsoever. He had absolutely NO fashion sense. There's no way he should've even THOUGHT of hiring him.

He became his secretary.

Shocking right? Who ever heard of a male secretary?

It ended up being the best decision he'd ever made. He might be loud, rude, obnoxious, add any other adjective you want here...but there was something about him - his smile, laugh, enthusiasm. You name it, he had it. You couldn't help but be drawn to his friendly nature. Every person in the office immediately loved him. He put clients at ease within seconds. He kept him sane - which is pretty important. From day one, he made his coffee just right, he knew - without asking - to screen his phone calls, and he somehow could deal with his mood swings and perfectionist nature. But it wasn't until he overheard him on the phone one day that he knew Naruto's calling was decidedly NOT in the direction of secretarial work.

Sasuke moved away from the picture window and sat down at his desk tracing the lip of his cup of coffee with an index finger as he mused.

One day a client called, angry and ranting about their contract. Sasuke had already informed Naruto earlier that he wouldn't be taking any calls. So, Naruto put him on hold and decided not to bother him about the client unless it got too bad. He just went to the files, found the contract, got back on with the client, and spent the next 20 minutes going through it with him. By the end of the call, both males were laughing and exchanging all kinds of pleasantries. The blonde had somehow smooth-talked his and Uchiha Enterprises way into the client's good graces. And he didn't even look like he tried hard. It was then that he decided that he'd found his other half.

No, obviously not marriage mate. If nothing else, Uchihas were a faithful lot. He would never cheat on his wife. Besides, he was 100 percent heterosexual, thank you very much. Although, he wasn't so sure about the dobe.

If there was one thing that Sasuke DEFINITELY was not good at, it was public relations. As an Uchiha, it was pretty much standard practice that they appear like they were all cold-hearted bastards at heart. Itachi certainly had that ability in spades. He was as cool as a cucumber. Yet, it was the strangest thing, Itachi could somehow transform himself into a kind-hearted person if need be for the public eye. Another ability that he hadn't gotten. So, Naruto Uzumaki had accidentally given Sasuke exactly what he needed most. A good public image. Someone who could smile, laugh, and relate to people. He immediately gave the dobe a new position.

Public Relations Manager.

That title didn't last very long either. You see, Naruto was also very observant. As the PR man, he had to be in the meetings with clients along with Sasuke. He also had to know the contracts and proposals inside and out. Sasuke tended to get riled up when things did not go his way. Strangely enough, considering the bubbly outgoing personality, Naruto was the one who frequently had the level head. He could talk a good game. More likely than not, when it was all over he would always end up making Sasuke and Uchiha Enterprises come out smelling like a rose.

Naruto Uzumaki, Director of Marketing/Public Relations.

Sure he made up the title himself. But is there anyone who could do either job as well as his dobe? Not likely. Really, he had a feeling Naruto could probably rival Itachi in that department.

And from THAT came his newest idea.

Itachi had never given anyone a second glance. Truthfully, he really wasn't all that clear on Itachi's preference. However, he was clear on one thing. Itachi really, REALLY needed to get laid. Just maybe it would get him to lighten up a bit. No one had ever gotten past that cool "Ice King" exterior. However, if there was anyone who could do it, it would be Naruto. So, he decided, this would be his challenge. By the end of this year, Itachi was going to get laid. And it was going to be Naruto who made it happen.

Now he only had to convince the blond to do it.

-

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_Edited 3/19/09 for typos_

**a/n:** There will be more dialogue in the next chapter and beyond. I know reviews aren't required and I would never twist your arm, but I would love to know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n:** Wow! I've never had so many reviews, alerts and favorites for just one chapter. I'm on cloud nine right now yay! I really am happy that everyone enjoyed it. Thanks so much for all of your reviews and ideas. I will definitely be using some of them later. Oh and I guess I should clarify for everyone, since someone asked - I'm going pretty much canon in terms of age difference, so Itachi is 33 as noted in the first chapter, Sasuke is 26 - soon to be 27, and Naruto is 26.

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina.

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 2**

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**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

"Yo teme!" A blond whirlwind came through Sasuke's office door, immediately sitting across from him and crossing his feet on the expensive mahogany desk.

Sasuke slowly looked down at the shoes first, then back up at Naruto. "Dobe, you're late. And if you would be so kind as to take your shoes off of my desk."

"Yeah yeah whatever." He waved his hand in dismissal while pulling his feet down. "Besides, who says I'm late? We still have 30 minutes or so until this meeting."

"It's across town Naruto." Sasuke glared, his eyebrow twitching.

Naruto squirmed under the intense glare raising a hand to rub the back of his head. "Heh, heh. Then I suppose we should get going huh?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and grabbed Naruto by his black tie with orange spirals as he went past. "Dobe."

"Hey! Hey! Wait! Teme, you're gonna choke me. Let go!"

* * *

Interestingly enough, the younger Uchiha gets the same treatment as his brother. The moment he entered the corridor, with the blond following behind, all eyes inevitably ended up on him. Mostly female. They all wanted a piece of him. A very specific piece, mind you, even though every single one of them knows he's happily married.

A bubbly blonde blue eyed girl was suddenly blocking his way to the elevator. "Mr. Uchiha, I hope you weren't planning to leave without letting me know."

She batted her eyelashes at him. Sasuke was tempted to just pick her up and physically remove her from the spot – she was light enough, considering her constant dieting - but he restrained himself. "I don't remember having to ask permission, _Miss_ Yamanaka."

He couldn't help putting the dig in there about her non-married state. He knew that, right now, she didn't even have a boyfriend. She kept pushing people off, hoping for him to miraculously become senile and think she would be perfect wife material, even if he already had one. Too bad she was a good secretary or he'd probably have gotten rid of her by now. The ding of the elevator announced its arrival. He brushed past her pulling Naruto along.

"Hey…wait teme...quit pulling the threads." Naruto tried to pull away from the grip. He turned his head before the elevator doors closed and addressed the fellow blonde. "Hello Ino."

She smiled slightly. "Hello Naruto." _'At least he's not rude!'_ If only he had the dark features of an Uchiha, she'd be willing to snag him.

On the ground floor, they stepped from the elevator and walked toward the street and the waiting limo. People turned and stared at the two. Of course, most of it was because of the dark haired executive. But the blond had his share of admirers as well. Together, they made quite an imposing pair. Both males were tall, with Sasuke being an inch or so taller. But that's where the similarities ended. Where Sasuke was pale and slim, Naruto was broader and tanned. Sasuke was dark and sleek. Naruto was bright - almost literally - and pretty much random. His features contrasted completely with the dark suit and shirt he wore, but it only served to highlight what were considered his best features. He had distinctive blond hair that spiked in every direction and his eyes were so blue the sky paled in comparison. People were drawn to those expressive eyes like flies to honey.

Now, the clothes took some working with. Sasuke actually wrote a clothing stipulation into Naruto's contract. Then he had almost literally dragged the blond shopping. Naruto had yelled and ranted until Sasuke told him he either took the clothes he bought or he wouldn't have a job. After that, Naruto had shut up and let Sasuke do what he wanted. He took the blond to his favorite places and got him some suits tailored and bought shirts and ties to match. He also bought a couple of pairs of nice and comfortable office shoes. Somehow the ties seemed to have disappeared completely from existence in favor of brighter ones. Sasuke had tried to get him to ditch the orange altogether, really he did. But Naruto refused to part with it completely. He did tone it down though and limited the orange to just his numerous eccentric ties and socks. That had been enough for him.

Neither said much during the drive. Sasuke was on his laptop while Naruto went over the presentation in his head. They got to the other Uchiha building 5 minutes late. Naruto tried to ignore the piercing glare he was receiving from the Uchiha the entire way up to the top floor. When the elevators opened Sasuke stepped out, not even bothering with the receptionist. If she didn't know who he was by now, too bad. It's not like he and Itachi didn't look alike. Of course, it didn't matter much anyway, she was too busy staring to be of any use.

They got to Itachi's office and was met by his secretary. Sasuke blinked then raised an eyebrow at Naruto. Naruto shrugged. They communicated like that now and then. It's funny how they could understand each other so well. They were thinking the same thing as they tried not to stare at the bright pink hair. _'Is that her real hair color?!'_

"Good afternoon. You must be Mr. Uchiha. Mr. Uchiha," she giggled, "I mean the _other _Mr. Uchiha, has been waiting." She went to her intercom. "Mr. Uchiha?"

His silky deep voice answered. "Yes?"

"Your brother is here. Is it ok to send him in?"

"Yes, thank you."

She looked at the other Uchiha in front of her and gestured for him to go in. Sasuke nodded and turned to Naruto.

"Why don't you go set up everything. I'll meet you in a few minutes."

"No problem boss." Naruto grinned teasingly at his companion. Sasuke rolled his eyes and walked into the office - aka Hell – and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Itachi was leaning back in his chair when Sasuke walked in. "About time you got here little brother."

Sasuke turned and leaned against the door and crossed his arms, glaring at the Ice King. "Shut up, it wasn't my fault."

"Hn… So, I hope this presentation is worth my time." Sasuke raised a brow.

"Do you ever find anything worthy of your time?"

"Of course."

'_Yeah sure, like what?'_ It took all of two minutes for Sasuke to be irritated at his brother's superior attitude.

"Look, let's just get this over with so I can return to life on my side of the world."

Itachi smirked. Sasuke stamped down the irrational need to run. Smirking was bad.

"But I planned to have you stay for lunch."

'_Hell no, I'm not doing lunch with you.'_ "Well, I do have a lot to do at my office."

Itachi brushed him off. "Nonsense, that's what secretaries are for. An hour of your time won't destroy your day." _'Heh heh, gotcha little brother. There's no way you can say no.'_

'_No, an hour of time with you will destroy my mood though.'_ He really wanted to say it aloud, but held back. "Fine. But my partner stays too." At least he wouldn't be alone with his sibling and just maybe he could start getting the ball rolling on his plan. If he could get Itachi and Naruto together, maybe his brother would stop being such an ass. But he was getting ahead of himself.

"Of course." Itachi gave a slight nod. "The investors should all be present by now. I suggest we join them."

Sasuke got up with Itachi and followed him to the conference room. He could feel every eye following him the entire way. Although, considering where he was, it was probably more because of Itachi than him.

* * *

Naruto, in the meantime, was left with the pink haired secretary. "So…uh…Ms. Haruno? Where is this conference room?"

Sakura almost didn't hear him. She was too busy giving him the once over. He wasn't bad, not as hot as the Uchiha men, but she could tell he was built well under those clothes. "Huh? Oh. Follow me." She led him to the conference room. "Here you are. Is there anything you need?"

"Nah, I've got everything on my trusty laptop." He tapped his case and grinned at the girl.

"Alright then. I left enough drinks for everyone if they want. The projector is ready to go. You just have to connect your laptop."

"Great! Thanks a lot Ms. Haruno." Another million watt smile.

Sakura smiled back. That smile was contagious. "Sakura. Call me Sakura."

"Well I'm Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki. And you can just call me." He gave her a wink.

She laughed. He may not be as handsome as her boss, but he was much more fun. "Funny. Very funny." She got to the door of the room. "If you need anything, just let me know."

"Ok, thanks again Sakura." She left and Naruto took a deep breath. He was glad she didn't take that the wrong way. He was joking with her, plus it was his way of relaxing. He was pretty nervous about this presentation, after all. He'd done some pretty important ones the last couple of years, but nothing of this magnitude. Also, Sasuke had talked about his brother before. He wasn't sure how the stoic man or a bunch of old fart investors would react to what he had planned.

He set out 12 portfolios and made sure his file on the computer was ready to go. Then he grabbed a water to keep his mouth from going dry. He smiled as investors began to file in one by one, blank faces and all, and take their seats. Last to come in were the two Uchihas. Their youth was quite a contrast to all of the elders in the room. He looked at the older Uchiha and tensed up slightly. He really was an Ice King like Sasuke said. Not one bit of expression graced that face. But good god! Do all the Uchihas have to be blessed with such great genes? He was quite tall...taller than him. And he was even more handsome than Sasuke. He shook his head to get back on track. When he saw Sasuke he smiled nervously. Sasuke nodded and mouthed "You'll do fine. Relax."

For some reason, just Sasuke's reassurance made him relax. Once everyone had settled, he began. "Good afternoon everyone. My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I'm here representing the northern branch of Uchiha Enterprises along with Mr. Sasuke Uchiha…"

Itachi had stopped tuning in after the name. It's not like he really cared one way or another. He just had to be there because he was president, but it was really the investors decision after all. All he had to do was sign on the dotted line after the deal was done. Maybe he could check the stocks on his phone. At least he wouldn't be completely bored. His musings were interrupted by chuckles. He looked up and saw the investors smiling a bit. When he looked at Naruto, he had a wide grin on his face. Itachi was intrigued. _'Hn...Maybe I should pay a bit more attention.'_

"Look, I'm sure you see these blah presentations complete with slides, graphs and projections all the time. Why should I bore you with another one? You've got portfolios in front of you that give you the same information I would be presenting up here."

'_What the hell are you doing dobe?'_ Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Then he glanced at his brother…

…Who actually had a slight smirk on his face. Itachi found this man to be quite interesting. No one ever made the investors laugh during a presentation. Money was not a laughing matter in the business world. Yet this man already had the room in the palm of his hand. He had a presence about him and an energy that seemed to radiate from him. This man commanded a presence, not the same way he did, but it was there nonetheless. Really, it was more of a "here I am, take it or leave it" attitude. Somehow, it made everyone relax more. _'Hmm…interesting. I'll have to learn more about this Naruto Uzumaki.'_ He sat back and decided to actually listen.

"…I'm going to show you something much more interesting and fun than those pages of boring statistics. If you want to read during the show, fine with me. But at least you can't say I didn't try to entertain you." Another smile from the blond, along with a shrug. Chuckles floated through the group again.

_'Was that a good or a bad smirk?'_ Sasuke had begun to ignore the presentation in favor of figuring out what was going on in his brother's head. The man was so poker-faced Sasuke couldn't tell what he was thinking. He wasn't glaring though, so Naruto must be doing ok. But what in the world was Naruto thinking starting his presentation like that?

Itachi almost chuckled himself. Uzumaki was actually entertaining, he would give him that. Sasuke had chosen someone worthy of that position.

The presentation went on. Sasuke finally stopped trying to figure out his brother and just enjoyed the show. Naruto was a hit. Itachi was impressed – and it takes quite a lot to impress the Ice King. More importantly, the investors were impressed. After it was all over, each investor had made their way over to the blond to shake his hand and exchange pleasantries. Sasuke nodded at some of them as they left one by one. A few of them came over, shook hands and talked to him for a moment and exchanged business cards. All in all, the presentation was a success. Sasuke shouldn't have had a doubt though. Naruto was a genius at these things, after all.

"So, lunch?" And Sasuke's good mood was instantly shattered.

"OOH...we're getting lunch?! Awesome! After all this work I'm starving." Good to know Naruto was excited. Then again, any mention of food was enough to make the blond idiot happy.

"Hn. We haven't actually been formally introduced. Itachi Uchiha." He held out his hand.

Naruto grasped it in a firm grip. "Well, I guess you know my name eh? I've heard a lot about you."

"And I'm sure if it was from my little brother here," Itachi ruffled Sasuke hair just to irritate him, "it was all bad."

Naruto laughed. Then his stomach growled. Fortunately, the two other males were too busy glaring each other down to notice the noise.

"Hey…so, what's for lunch? Can we have ramen? I love ramen."

Well that got Sasuke to stop staring. "No."

"But teme…" Naruto resorted to the slight pout he knew his friend couldn't resist.

How dare he resort to the pout in front of his brother. Sasuke almost growled. "Dobe…"

"Come on teme. Pleeeease?" Now the blonde batted his eyelashes just a bit and Sasuke rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Itachi watched from the sidelines, amused at the way the vivacious blond was able to manipulate his brother.

"Fine dobe, whatever." Sasuke shook his head, exasperated at being so easily convinced.

"Yatta!" Naruto yelled linking his arms through the two taller males and pulling them out the room. Sasuke glared while Itachi raised his perfect eyebrow. "Hey Sakura? Wanna get some ramen with us?"

Sasuke wanted to die, or at least sink through the floor. The stupid dobe has no sense of decorum whatsoever. He chanced a look out the corner of his eye and was just in time to see his brother grinning at him. Oh god, he wasn't going to hear the end of it anytime soon.

The trio stopped at Sakura's desk while Itachi addressed her. "Sakura, please order some ramen from the place down the street and have them deliver it here. Order yourself something as well."

"What kind would you like?" She pulled out a menu and a notepad.

"You already know my preference." Itachi replied and she nodded jotting down something on the notepad. Itachi walked into his office, leaving the other two behind.

"I like…" Naruto began before his mouth was covered by Sasuke's hand.

"Vegetable for me and miso with pork for him." Naruto glared at the offending hand before glaring at Sasuke. He smirked then looked back at the pinkette. "If I don't stop him, he'll order everything on the menu."

Naruto groaned and tried to say something but it was muffled.

"OW! What the… Idiot, you BIT me!" Sasuke glared and smacked Naruto upside the head.

"Well, don't put your hand where it shouldn't be bastard." He laughed while Sasuke rubbed the bite marks out of his palm. Sakura watched them with a giggle.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed the blonde into the office after his brother. "Hn…dobe."

* * *

Lunch was actually...tolerable. At least for Sasuke. He and Itachi weren't at each other's throats. At least not yet. Of course, the civility could probably only be attributed to the blond, who acted as a buffer. Thank goodness for the dobe.

"Ahh...I think this is the best ramen I've ever had." Naruto smiled in bliss, leaning back on the cushy leather couch patting his full belly. Of the three, he was the one that relaxed the most. The knot of his tie had been pulled halfway off, the top two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, his jacket had been haphazardly tossed in a chair on the other side of the room. Sasuke meanwhile, had not even taken off his jacket. He was hoping to make this luncheon as quick as possible.

Itachi was also leaning back in his chair directing his attention to the blonde. "It's from a place called Ichiraku's. He's from the old school of ramen cooks. His is the only ramen I will eat."

"We need one of those by our building. I'd eat it every day!"

"God forbid." Sasuke jumped in. "We'd never get you to work then."

Naruto turned to his friend with a growl. "Shut it teme."

"So, Mr. Uzumaki..."

"Please just Naruto."

"Alright...Naruto. Then call me Itachi. Anyhow, that presentation of yours - quite an unorthodox style you have. However, it seems to work for you."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. He knew that was the closest Itachi ever came to complimenting anyone.

Naruto shrugged and rubbed the back of his head, slightly embarrassed. "Yeah...well, I just kind of try to make it interesting, you know?"

"Well our investors were quite taken with you. I don't think there will be any problem getting approval for the project."

"Awesome! I gotta admit though, I was pretty nervous."

"And why would that be?"

"Uh...well...I mean, you were there and..." Naruto trailed off at the scathing glare from Sasuke.

Itachi flicked his eyes toward his brother then leveled his gaze back at Naruto leaning forward in his chair while folding his hands on the desk. "And what has my little brother been telling you about me, hmm?"

Sasuke turned his glare to his brother. Itachi gave him a smirk and a wink. Sasuke wanted to smack that look off his face.

"Nothing much...really..." Naruto looked away.

"Oh come now." He slightly lifted his lips into a smile and got up and sat next to Naruto, casually wrapping an arm around him. Sasuke's eyes widened and he came close to choking on the water he was in the process of sipping. "You can tell me. Nothing he says affects me in the slightest. I'm just dying to know."

Naruto, being the naive sort he is, falls right into Itachi's trap. "H-he says you're called the...uh...Ice King? And that you're, well...kinda difficult to please. So I didn't know how you'd take the presentation." By the end Naruto was mumbling.

"Really?" He turned and grinned at his brother who was looking paler by the moment. He loved messing with his little brother. Besides, the blond looked kind of cute when he was embarrassed.

Wait...did he just think someone was "cute"?!

_'Well...' _ He took a longer look at man he was so casually manipulating for his amusement. He definitely was not a bad looker. Tanned, blond hair, blue eyes, well built. He'd seen lots of males over the years. His friends and family had certainly pushed a number of them on him. But he had never given any of them a second glance. What made this man in front of him so different. Maybe it was his warm personality? His naivete? His smile? Or maybe it was the fact that he was the only person who could deal with his anti-social brother.

Sasuke raised a brow. Was Itachi checking Naruto out?! He wasn't even trying and his plan seemed to be having some effect.

Itachi moved closer to the object of his observations, watching the blush appear on his cheeks. _ 'Nice cheekbones too.'_ "Well, maybe you shouldn't listen to everything my brother tells you." he whispered, but loud enough for Sasuke to hear from his vantage point.

Naruto glanced into the older Uchiha's dark eyes before quickly looking down again. He knew he was blushing. He could feel the heat going straight to his cheeks. If only he could raise his hands to cover them. He shivered slightly when hot air hit his ear. He really wasn't sure what was happening. Why was Itachi so close to him? Was he teasing him? Naruto unconsciously held his breath.

Sasuke was watching this partly in glee and partly in horror. He really wasn't sure which was winning out. _'Is he flirting?'_ He watched Itachi slowly turn his head observing his reaction out of the corner of his eye. _'What the hell?! He's doing this on purpose. Just to get a rise out of me!'_ He glared back and jumped up gathering his things. "Well, this was...nice... But I think it's time we head back to the office and finalize plans. Right dobe?"

Naruto wasn't listening. He was still stuck at the part where Itachi's breathing made his ear tingle. He hadn't even noticed that Itachi had left the couch to return to his desk or that Sasuke was now standing and prepared to leave. A jacket suddenly smacked him in the face. He jumped slightly, grabbing the offending material and glaring at the direction it came from. "What the hell teme?"

"Let's go. We have things to do."

"But..."

"Now dobe." Naruto rolled his eyes. What stick got shoved up the teme's ass?

"Fine, whatever." He tossed his jacket on and straightened his tie. Then he walked over to Itachi with a blinding smile. "It was really nice meeting you Itachi."

"Pleasure was all mine." Itachi gave Naruto a slight smile. "Maybe we'll meet again sometime." He turned to Sasuke who was already itching to open the door. "Guess I'll be seeing you little brother."

"Hn." Sasuke gave a quick nod and opened the door.

Naruto rolled his eyes and followed after his friend/boss. Before he closed the door though, he peeked back inside. "Oh, by the way..." Itachi looked up. "You're not as bad as the teme says you are." He grinned and closed the door.

Itachi chuckled softly. Yes, Naruto Uzumaki was definitely an interesting one. He needed to learn more about him. He unlocked his computer and went to the internet. At a site only a select few in the company have been given access to he began to type.

N-A-R-U-T-O U-Z-U-M-A-K-I

-

-

_Edited 3/19/09 for typos and such_

**a/n:** So now the two have met. And who knows, maybe Sasuke doesn't need to help things along... NOT! What would be the fun in that? :D Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews would be lovely. Any thoughts on the schemes to get the two together? I have my own ideas but I'd love to hear yours too. If I add yours in, I'll give you credit and cookies :)


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n:** Thanks for the reviews and the wonderful suggestions. I may or may not use them, but even if I don't , they definitely got my creative juices flowing enough to give me some new ideas. Anyways, on to chapter 3! Also, a huge thanks and cookies goes to MagicallyInclined who gave me the Scheming Hinata idea.

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina.

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 3**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

Sasuke sat in his home office brooding. He glared at the papers in front of him with such ferocity they should've burned to ashes under his gaze. His brother was such a bastard. He always found some kind of way to piss him off. And how dare he use his best friend to do it!

BUT…there were sparks…he was sure of it. Even if his brother was just messing with his head, he could see Itachi was interested in Naruto. Itachi doesn't allow his friends to touch him, hardly allows the privilege to his family, yet this time he not only allowed it, but INITIATED it. If that doesn't scream interested, he didn't know what would. And Naruto…if he blushed anymore he'd have been a cherry. The problem with him though is that he's so freakin naïve, he probably hadn't even figured out that Itachi was – in a roundabout way - flirting with him.

But now he had a new predicament. How could he get the two soon-to-be lovebirds together again? Naruto and he were on the opposite side of town from Itachi. Usually the only time he and Itachi were in each other's presence was at his parents' home, and Naruto had never been there. As it is, he and his brother tried to avoid going there as much as possible. All either of them ever heard from their parents were their wishes for weddings and heirs. He loved them, but it was too much of an annoyance, so unless it was an ultimatum, they both stayed away as much as possible. There was always the job, but how to get the two to meet up without being obvious and having them figure out his motives was a dilemma he hadn't figured a way around yet.

What to do... What to do...

The door opened and in walked his wife. The ex-Hyuuga was quite stunning. Women would kill for a figure like hers. Her long violet hair reached down her lower back. She liked to keep it up most of the time since it got in her way. But when she was at home, she would let it down because she knew Sasuke liked to run his fingers through it. Her most beautiful feature, though, was her eyes. They were a very rare lavender color. Even contact lenses couldn't duplicate the hue. Sasuke thanked his lucky stars a million times over for making her his. He sometimes wondered if, out of everyone, he got the sweetest end of that particular business deal.

She stood in front of him and smiled serenely as she rubbed her finger over the crease in his forehead. "Sasuke dear, quit brooding. You'll get wrinkles.

Sasuke relaxed slightly at his wife's joking manner. "Sorry Hinata…I have a lot on my mind."

She moved behind him and started massaging his shoulders. "Want to talk about it?"

"Hn. It's Itachi."

"Isn't it always about him?" She giggled. Sasuke grabbed her hand and pulled her lightly so she fell in his lap.

"It's different this time smart aleck." He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and sighed. Hinata could always make him less moody. She and the dobe were the only two who could get through the blank mask he wore and make him open up and relax. "I'm trying to hook him up."

"Oh please don't tell me you're turning into your mother and father."

He poked her in a ticklish side, causing her musical laugh to ring out. "Not even. I just think he needs someone in his life. I'm hoping it will make him much less of an ass. I already have someone I think would be perfect for him, but I can't have either of them figuring out what I'm doing."

"So you need a plan."

He nodded.

"Well then, Hinata Uchiha at your service." She grinned and did a semi-bow in Sasuke's lap. People always say it's the quiet ones you have to watch. Hinata is one of those quiet ones.

* * *

It was late and yet Itachi was still in the office. All of his employees had left hours ago. He should just spend the night. It really would be too much trouble to bother going home this late and he still had that extra change of clothes in the closet. He sat back in his seat, reclining a bit and turned away from his computer screen to face the city lights. And as he looked out at the night sky and the bright lights, his thoughts continued to revolved around HIM.

_Naruto Uzumaki (Namikaze)  
_

_Birthdate: October 10, 1982_

_Birthplace: Konoha, Japan_

_Father: Minato Namikaze; Mother: Kushina Uzumaki – Both deceased_

_Current Guardian: Iruka Umino; Occupation: Schoolteacher_

_Previous Guardian: Jiraiya and Tsunade Senju (grandparents) See footnote._

_Footnote: (Tokyo Newspaper) Namikaze Heir Broke - Jiraiya and Tsunade Senju, grandparents of Namikaze heir Naruto Uzumaki, gambled, drank, and traveled away the savings that was willed to the son of businessman, Minato Namikaze. Naruto, who is now age two, has been legally adopted by schoolteacher Iruka Umino…._

Itachi continued to stare out his floor to ceiling windows. He faintly remembered Minato Namikaze. He and his father had been friends. That much he could recall. Going back in his childhood memories, he visualized a man with blonde hair who always had a smile on his face. He remembered being introduced to him and his red-headed wife when he was quite young. At the time he wondered how they ended up with such weird colored hair since everyone else he knew had black hair. The two were always present at his parents' parties. He would try to sneak in to see the events, but he was always caught and ushered up to his wing so as not to disturb the guests. He never remembered them having a son though. Of course, now that he could link the two, Naruto was basically the spitting image of his father. Being so young, he didn't think much of it when he didn't see the two anymore. Now he understood why.

But why did it matter so much to him? It wasn't like he should care. Naruto Uzumaki was just another business associate. So what if Sasuke and the blonde were practically joined at the hip. He didn't mean anything to him. He was just toying with him to make Sasuke squirm…right? He didn't care about that bright smile…

Or those beautiful, expressive blue orbs…

Or that tanned skin…

Or the cute blush that overtook his face when he got so close…

GAH!

Itachi jumped up looking uncharacteristically troubled. He grabbed a jacket and walked out of his office. He needed a walk. Badly.

* * *

"Hmm…how about a dare?" Hinata, having now heard the entire story, had taken on the impossible mission as her own and was suggesting every idea she could think of to get the two males together.

"Wouldn't work. Itachi would refuse. Though sadly, that would probably work on me."

"You could always just knock Naruto out, giftwrap him with red ribbons and a big bow, and give him to Itachi as a birthday present."

Sasuke couldn't help laughing out loud at the vision that presented to his overworked brain. "You are a devil, my love."

Hinata grinned and shrugged. "I know."

The discussion had moved from the office to the bedroom. Sasuke was already lying down and Hinata had just come from the dressing room clothed in a short lavender nightgown that hugged her in just the right places. Sasuke's eyes roamed over her figure and he decided it was time to forget about the dobe for now.

"OH OH, I've got it!"

"Hmm?" He was hardly paying attention anymore.

She got in bed and turned to her husband, propping her head in her hand. "We take them clubbing."

"And why would we do that?" Sasuke murmured while his fingers reached out to glide slowly up her side.

"Because if what you say is true, Naruto has definitely caught Itachi's eye, even if he doesn't understand it yet. If you and I invite Naruto, he can probably get Itachi to go. And if I bring my cousin into the mix…"

"Wait…what does Neji have to do with this?" Now his fingers slid under her gown and started stroking her flat stomach.

"Neji will have everything to do with this." Hinata had a smirk that rivaled Sasuke's at the moment. "We need to make your brother WANT Naruto. All we have to do is use Neji to make him jealous."

"Hn…there's one big problem with this little plan you're hatching, my dear." Hinata raised a brow in question. His fingers slid upwards deliberately brushing against her breasts making her moan. "Itachi doesn't get jealous."

"He will when he sees my hot cousin taking up all of Naruto's attention and hitting on him all night long." Hinata refused to be the only one being teased and slid her knee up between his legs. Sasuke gasped when her knee came in contact with a very sensitive spot.

"I'll believe it when I see it." Sasuke grew tired of talking and wrapped an arm around his wife, pulling her closer to nibble and suck on her delicate neck.

Hinata closed her eyes with a moan and slid her fingers down his back, getting in one last thing before surrendering to her husband's attentions. "Tomorrow night…9 p.m. at Amaterasu."

"Fine…"

* * *

Sasuke was sitting in Naruto's office, on the couch, tapping his fingers on the wooden arm rest. The dobe was late…again. He really needed to impress upon his friend the importance of setting an example for the rest of the office. At that moment he saw the elevator open and out walked the dobe, bobbing his head to his ipod. He saw Ino walk past the blond giggling at the way he danced toward his office door. He sang slightly off key, making Sasuke cringe. Naruto walked through his door and closed it halfway in order to hang his jacket on the hook when he suddenly jumped about a foot in the air upon seeing his couch occupied.

"Jeez teme, you scared the mess out of me!"

Sasuke deliberately looked down at his watch then looked back up. "Well, maybe you should get to work on time then."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Whatever teme. Why are you here anyway?"

"Hinata and I are going to Amaterasu tonight. We want you to come with us."

Naruto looked confused for a second. "But you're married. Why would you want to go there?"

Sasuke glared at his friend in mock anger. If he wasn't focused so intently on the plan, he'd take the time to be more offended. "What are you trying to say? Are you suggesting that the only people who go clubbing are single people? Jeez Naruto, why don't you just call me an old man next."

Naruto sat down at his desk and turned on his computer tossing junk mail aside with the flick of his wrist. "Ok ok fine, sorry. Look, I'd go, but I don't want to be a third wheel. It won't be any fun if I don't have anyone to go with."

"Just ask a friend. It doesn't have to be a date or anything." Sasuke went silent and pretended to be thinking. "In fact, here's an idea. Why don't you ask Itachi."

"Itachi?" This time the blond raised an eyebrow. He wondered what brought on such a strange suggestion. They weren't even really friends. They had only met yesterday.

"Yeah, you and he seemed to get along well enough yesterday." Sasuke saw the weird look the dobe was giving him and decided to play the sympathy card. He knew someone as kind as Naruto wouldn't be able to resist wanting to help someone. "Besides, he never goes anywhere. He stays holed up in that office of his at all times of the day and night. He really needs to get out more and meet people. But he refuses to go with me whenever I ask him. Maybe if you ask, he'll come."

Naruto thought back to yesterday. He and Itachi did get along well enough. _'Well, there was that other thing…'_ Ok, SO not going there. He sighed and ran a hand through his unruly locks and looked up at his best friend. He hoped he knew what he was getting into. "Ok fine, I'll go. And I'll ask him to come with me."

'_Score!'_ "Great. You can dress at our place."

"You're not going to let me wear any of my own clothes are you?" Naruto asked with a pout.

"Not a chance in hell."

* * *

Sakura was on her lunch break and since she was dieting again, she didn't get anything to eat. Instead she sat at her desk using IM to chat with her friend Ino. It was surprising, but neither had any idea that both worked for the same company, just at different branches.

_(in progress)_

PrettyinPink: So you're still not seeing anyone?

FlowerGurl: Well…there's my boss. He's so freakin hot!

PrettyinPink: OMG INO! Seriously? You're going out with your boss?

FlowerGurl: Well, no not exactly. I'm wearing him down. Soon enough, he'll come to me.

PrettyinPink: That's so cool! I wish I could date my boss. He's seriously hot. But I doubt he notices I'm here unless he needs something done.

FlowerGurl: Heh, I bet my boss is hotter than yours.

PrettyinPink: Not a chance Ino-pig! My boss is WAY hotter.

FlowerGurl: You wish forehead-girl! Besides my boss is an exec vp

PrettyinPink: That's nothing. Mine is president. See mine's better. Nyah! :P

FlowerGurl: Yeah yeah whatever

FlowerGurl: Well anyway, it's been forever! We gotta do something soon.

PrettyinPink: Totally! Too bad you don't work near me. Well, I better go before my boss catches me on here. Later!

FlowerGurl: Bye

The phone rang right after Sakura signed off. "Good afternoon Itachi Uchiha's office."

"Sakura? Hi, it's Naruto."

"Oh, hello Naruto, how are you?"

"I'm great. Is Itachi in the office?"

"Yes he is. Actually he just got through holding a meeting with the investors. Hold on a moment ok?"

"You bet."

Itachi had just seen the last investor out and was about to close the door. "Mr. Uchiha. You have a phone call."

"Who is it?" He said, not really caring at the moment.

"It's Naruto Uzumaki. Would you like me to take a message?"

He had already formed the words 'take a message' on his lips when it registered what she said. He paused in the doorway with his hand on the knob. "No…I will take this call."

"Ok, he's on line 2."

Itachi closed the door and went to his desk and punched the correct line. "Hello Naruto."

"I-Itachi…hi. Uh…how are you?" On his end, Naruto had smacked himself on the forehead. He was stuttering like a schoolgirl with a crush.

"Very well. In fact, your project seems to be a go. The three of us will have to get together and deal with the contract side of things."

"Really? That's awesome!"

"Yes. But I have a feeling that is not the reason you called."

"Well no. Actually, the thing is, Sasuke invited me to go with him and his wife to Amaterasu tonight. And I refuse to be a third wheel, so I thought I'd invite you."

"I don't really do that sort of thing."

"So I hear. Of course, I also hear you spend way too much time holed up in your office. You should get out once in a while, you know."

"You're starting to sound like my friends."

"Well that's a step up. I started as a business associate. Now I'm a friend. I'm moving up in the world!"

Itachi could practically visualize the grin on the blonde after that statement. He shook his head in disbelief that he was actually thinking of taking the guy up on the offer. He could care less about going to the club. But it would give him a chance to get to know more about this enigma known as Naruto Uzumaki. "Ok, fine. I'll go. But only because you asked. If it was Sasuke, I wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Great! So I'll meet you at 9?"

"Hn." Naruto took that as a yes.

"Alright then, see you tonight."

They both hung up.

And both of them let out a breath they hadn't known they were holding.

-

-

_Edited 3/20/09 for typos_

**a/n:** Ok, I couldn't resist having Jiraiya and Tsunade be some screwed up grandparents who used up all Naruto's money. The idea was just so funny to me. Oh, and the last name of course, is from Tsunade's family since Jiraiya doesn't have a known last name.


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n:** Welcome back! Thank you all for so many great reviews. I couldn't possibly come up with ideas for chapters so fast without your input. I can't believe I've already got 5 chapters typed out already and about to start on chapter 6! You all are great inspiration. Now this chapter was fun to write. Hope you enjoy!

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina.

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 4**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

"OW! Jeez…watch the hair!"

Hinata had taken it upon herself to do something about the godawful creation known as Naruto's hair. "Hold still. My goodness, when was the last time you combed through this mess? Actually, on second thought, nevermind. I don't think I want to know."

Naruto was already dressed – again, courtesy of Hinata. As soon as Naruto had given Sasuke an affirmative, he had called his wife, gave her Naruto's sizes, and told her to go shopping. Sasuke leaned against the door and watched his wife work her magic. Hinata had outdone herself this time. She had taken Naruto and transformed him into someone much hotter and sexier. He was wearing a cotton shirt the exact color of his eyes. It was a size too small and fit him like a glove, showing off the toned body no one ever got to see. The dark blue jeans she bought him were just a touch baggy, which went nicely with the tight shirt. The best though had to be the button down black leather jacket. It fit Naruto perfectly. She finished him off with a pair of black Timberlands. Hell, if Naruto looked like that all the time, he'd turn any straight guy gay. He looked that good. Itachi definitely had his work cut out for him tonight. And he couldn't wait.

"There…done." Hinata patted Naruto's shoulder with a smile and stepped back to let the men admire her handiwork.

Sasuke nodded in approval. Naruto looked in the mirror and grinned. His hair still retained it's trademark spikes, but with a bit more control to it. "Wow, this is great Hinata. You should fix my hair all the time."

"Sorry, after all that work, next time I do your hair, you'll have to pay me."

"Aww too bad." He got out the chair and gave Hinata a big bear hug. "Thanks Hinata!"

"Hey, watch it with my wife." Sasuke said jokingly.

"Man, you're so lucky. I'd love to have a wife like this."

"Are you sure about that dobe?" Hinata elbowed her husband making him grimace just a bit.

Naruto tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Huh? What do you mean?" Sasuke smirked at his clueless friend.

"Nothing…just messing with you."

* * *

Itachi stood outside the club. He was NOT happy. He told one person...ONE!...that he was going to Amaterasu and somehow all of his demented friends heard and decided to show up.

"So, I hear the person you're waiting on is quite the hottie." Itachi's glare turned deadly.

That was Kisame. How they were friends, he didn't know. If there was anyone who was an exact opposite of himself, it was Kisame. He was loud, brash, uncouth, and had the worst wardrobe he'd ever seen. But somehow, they remained friends.

Itachi glanced behind him at his so-called friends and decided he was better off ignoring the running commentary going on, courtesy of Kisame, Hidan and Deidara. Hidan was probably the closest to him in sense of style. But then he opened his mouth and all went to hell. He whined about everything like nobody's business. Deidara kept bouncing up and down. He was the hyper one of the group. His long blonde hair had made people mistake him for a girl many times. He had a skewed sense of style, but it worked on him...maybe because he was an artist. The others were not so bad. Sasori pretty much stayed to himself unless addressed by someone. Kakuzu was a loner and didn't talk much unless it was about getting some money. Pein and Konan were a couple and pretty much kept to themselves most of the time. Right now the three behind him were taking guesses on who the mystery person would be and what they would look like. Stupid meddling friends.

Finally he saw Sasuke's car pull up. _'Thank god.'_ First out was Hinata, who looked beautiful, as usual, in a purple and silver spaghetti strap dress that stopped right above the knee. Next out was Sasuke, dressed in a blue silk shirt and black slacks. He passed the key to the valet and walked over to link his arm with his wife's. And last, but not least, came Naruto. Itachi just stared. It would've been embarrassing if he'd cared to notice. The rest of his gang, though, had no problem expressing their opinion of the blond. Cat calls, whistles and other words of praise abounded from them, causing the object of their noise to blush. Itachi was so enthralled he didn't notice the hot blond stop in front of him until he spoke.

"Hello Itachi." Itachi blinked and looked down.

"Naruto." He replied, re-asserting himself quickly. He nodded toward his brother and his wife. "Hinata, you're looking wonderful."

While Itachi was complimenting Hinata, Naruto was checking out Itachi. He was in a red silk shirt and black slacks and had a black jacket tossed over his shoulder. He was hot, there was no other way to describe him. Naruto had never once questioned his sexuality. But the way his mind and body were reacting to the man in front of him made him begin to wonder.

"Thank you Itachi. You're looking good yourself."

Now that the preliminaries were out of the way…

"Hey! Don't we get an introduction?" Hidan whined.

"Yeah Itachi, we'd like to meet your new _friend_." Kisame grinned at his friend.

"Naruto, these are some of my so-called friends who decided they needed to accompany me so as to observe me in a non-work environment." Itachi said dryly as he rolled his eyes and gestured to the group and named them one by one. "Now we should get inside."

"Actually, we're waiting on one more person." Hinata piped up.

And at that moment, a sleek black Mercedes SL600 pulled up and a tall male with long dark hair got out and walked toward the group tossing his keys to the valet. He had on all black, except for the cream colored jacket he wore over it.

"NEJI!" Hinata squealed and hugged her cousin.

"You're looking well cousin." Neji said with a smile. "Hello Sasuke...Itachi."

Sasuke and Itachi both nodded.

Hinata pulled Neji over to stand in front of Naruto. "Neji, this is the friend of Sasuke's I wanted you to meet. Naruto...Neji - Neji...Naruto."

"Nice to meet you." The two shook hands. Naruto looked him over thinking how it could be possible to be surrounded by so many handsome men.

"Likewise." Neji deliberately hooked his arm around Naruto's, guiding him toward the entrance. "So tell me a bit about yourself."

Itachi watched the two walk toward the entrance and found himself glaring at the Hyuuga. He wanted time with the blonde. Hell, Naruto was the one who asked him to go.

Sasuke saw the glare and winked at his wife. Hinata's plan just might work.

The significantly larger group than planned made their way through the loud club to the back stairs and up to the VIP room. Fortunately, the music pulsed at regular decibels instead of the blow your ears out volume it was at downstairs. The walls were painted a blood red while the ceiling was white and black leather furniture with white trim was situated around the outer edges of the room. The large black marble dance floor took up the rest of the space. There was a bar, complete with personal bartender toward the far end of the room, which all of Itachi's friends made a beeline towards.

Itachi took a seat in one of the chairs. Sasuke and Hinata took the love seat. Neji pulled Naruto over to a small table and they sat across from each other, deep in conversation. The rest of the group, one by one, sprawled out wherever there was an empty seat. Itachi watched the dark Hyuuga like a hawk. What could they be talking about? He heard Naruto laugh at something Neji said and he almost gave in to his need to growl. It was irritating him to no end that Neji was taking away his time with Naruto. He was so busy staring, he hadn't even noticed Kisame sit next to him and pass him a drink.

"Yo. Itachi?" His eyes slowly diverted from the couple and slid toward Kisame. "You gonna let him steal the blond like that?"

"He's not stealing anything. Naruto isn't mine or anyone else's property."

"Then why are you glaring at him like you want to kill him?"

_'Indeed...why am I?'_ Itachi wondered to himself. Naruto could spend his time with whomever he wanted. So why should he be bothered by it? He sighed and sipped his drink, still keeping an eye on the duo at the table. He didn't bother to answer the question, for Kisame or for himself. He wasn't all that sure he wanted to know the answer.

Sasuke and Hinata were being well entertained by the older brother's uncharacteristic antics. "Itachi's pissed." Sasuke whispered in Hinata's ear.

"Mmhm. Just like I predicted." Hinata smiled knowingly.

"He's glaring daggers at your cousin."

Hinata giggled. "So I noticed. He can handle it though. He's tough."

Neji looked over at the whispering husband and wife. His scheming cousin had already informed him beforehand of what the two were attempting to do. He thought they were both crazy for even thinking Itachi would notice or even be concerned about what he did with Naruto. But it seems they were onto something. The self proclaimed Ice King was practically glaring ice needles at him. It was quite amusing to see the usually stoic Uchiha reacting so negatively to him being around the blond.

Actually, he was having a good time. Naruto was fun to talk with and if he wasn't already in a relationship, he might've considered him. His uncle would kill him though if he brought home a guy. As it was, it took some convincing for Ten Ten to let him go to the club. She threatened to use pointy weapons on him if she found out he screwed up at all. He flicked his eyes over to the couch and then back to Naruto. Oh yes…Itachi definitely looked ready to kill him. Looks like it was time for the next part of the plan to be put into play. "So Naruto, you dance?"

"Of course!"

"Well, come on then." He got up and Naruto followed him to the dance floor which was already occupied by Hidan and Deidara. Deidara jumped around and had absolutely no rhythm whatsoever, but he didn't seem to care. "Hey Naruto, come join us!" he yelled happily.

"Yeah, the more the merrier." Hidan added.

Naruto and Neji made it to the center of the floor where they began moving to the beat. Arms and hips swayed. In Deidara's case arms and legs moved with less rhythm and more enthusiasm. Hinata pulled Sasuke onto the floor and they moved together in perfect symmetry. Itachi watched Neji's hands moving down to Naruto's waist and he was suddenly hit with the urge to break something. Preferrably Neji's hands. Kisame smirked at his clueless friend and winked over at Sasuke who gave him a nod. Yep, they were all in it together. Kisame thought of it as payback for all the dates he and the rest had set up over the years that Itachi refused.

The song ended and another took its place. And the group of dancers got larger. Kisame left his brooding friend behind and joined the party. Even Pein and Konan found a little corner to dance in since he wouldn't allow her to dance with anyone else. And Deidara had grabbed Sasori refusing to take no for an answer and had him dancing. Kakuzu had even found some girl downstairs that interested him and he brought her up to the VIP section and started dancing with her. The only one not out there was one Itachi Uchiha.

A half an hour or so later, different ones were taking breaks. Sasuke bowed out and Hinata grabbed Neji to dance with her. Sasori had practically ran from the dance floor – and from Deidara's flaying arms – as soon as humanly possible. Naruto sat down next to Itachi breathing hard and grabbed the glass from his pale fingers, downing the leftovers in one swallow. Itachi gave him a half hearted glare. He was unable to be all that mad after seeing the grin light up the blond's face.

"You seem to be having fun."

"Yeah I am. You know, you'd have more fun too if you get up and dance with me." Itachi raised an eyebrow at that. "Don't give me that raised eyebrow thing. Sasuke does that all the time. I'm immune. Come on, pleeease." He was reminded of their meeting when Naruto had begged Sasuke for ramen. He understood now why Sasuke caved so easily. A tanned hand raised into Itachi's sightline. His eyes roamed up the hand and arm and up to the smiling face of Naruto. Except he could read his eyes and he saw how nervous he was. The blonde was worried he'd reject him.

Decision made, Itachi grabbed the tan hand in his and got up, pulling the blond to an empty place on the dance floor. A slow pounding beat began and both of them started to move. The two seemed to move together as one. Naruto's arms moved into the air while Itachi's hands moved to his hips pulling him closer until they were just an inch away from grinding together.

Neji chuckled at the triumphant grin Hinata was sporting. "Well cousin, I don't think you will need my services anymore tonight."

"No, I don't think so." She gave her oh-so-helpful cousin a smile. "Say hello to Ten Ten for me."

"Sure thing." He kissed her on the cheek, nodded toward his brother in law and silently left. The two dancers didn't even notice.

They also didn't notice when Kisame took out his camera phone and started snapping pictures like crazy.

* * *

The elevator opened at the top floor and out stepped Sasuke with a newspaper under his arm. He had a spring in his step one normally didn't see. He noticed Sakura was already working even though it was still early.

"Good morning Mr. Uchiha."

"Is he in yet?"

"Yes he is." She reached to call her boss from the intercom but Sasuke intercepted her hand. "Don't worry about it. I'll just surprise him."

"Oh...uh..." Sakura blushed at the touch. She wasn't sure what to say. Well, it was his brother after all, so she guessed it would be ok. "Ok."

Sasuke opened the door, hoping to shock his brother. No can do though, Itachi looked up and crossed his arms leaning back in his chair. "What brings you here so early little brother?"

"I was just wondering if you had seen the news this morning."

Itachi looked wary for a moment. "No…why?" Sasuke dropped the morning paper on his brother's desk showing the front page of the local news section.

And Itachi stared.

For a while there he didn't even blink.

Then he looked up at Sasuke. Then looked back down. Then back up, this time with a narrow-eyed glare. "What did you do?"

"What?" Sasuke played innocent. "I didn't have anything to do with this."

"Riiiight, and I just happened to be at a certain club last night. And some random person just happened to get a picture of me with Naruto in the VIP section that hardly anyone, besides our group, was allowed into. AND this random someone somehow had enough influence to get it published in the newspaper overnight." The glare turned fiery and Sasuke wanted to shrink back. He held his ground though.

"I had nothing to do with it. I just saw it in the paper and thought you should know."

"Hn." Itachi looked down at the picture again. '_Gotta admit though, it is a great picture.'_ As soon as his brother left, he would be cutting that out and keeping it as a souvenir. He knew though, his idiot brother had something to do with this mess. He would get him back soon enough. But right now, he had to do damage control. If by some chance his parents found out…

"Mr. Uchiha?"

"Yes Sakura."

"Your mother is on the phone."

...He was doomed.

-

-

_Edited 3/20/09 for typos_

**a/n:** Hinata is eeeeeevil! And even Itachi's friends are in on it. So yeah, Itachi knows Sasuke's up to something. He thinks Sasuke's just getting him back though for something. Little does he know the real reason. Uh oh, wonder what his mother will say? :D


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n:** Thanks for the awesome reviews for chapter 4! I really did have fun writing that one. It had me laughing the entire time. Now, on to chapter 5! Yes, I got it up earlier than I thought I would. This one was fun too. I had to give Mikoto her own personality, so that was interesting. Hope you like what I did with it. This time I have to thank fer3333 and Angel'sMystery for their ideas. I'm taking a little bit from both of yours. Poor Itachi. XD Anyways, Chocolate chip cookies for you both.

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina.

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 5**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

Itachi sighed and glared at his brother. He wanted to wipe that innocent look off his face, damn him. He hit the button for his speaker phone. "Hello mother."

"Itachi dear! It's been a while since I've heard your voice."

"Yes, well, I've been busy. Is there a reason you're calling?"

"Actually, yes. The craziest thing happened this morning. You see, your father was reading the newspaper and as I walked past him I happened to look down at the page he was reading and do you know what I saw?"

Itachi was swiftly developing a headache. "No mother…what did you see?"

"I saw a picture of you dancing with a very handsome young man."

Sasuke twitched slightly trying to keep a straight face.

"Really?" _'Handsome? His face isn't even clearly seen in the picture...'_

"Yes! Is this mystery man your boyfriend?"

The usually unflappable Ice King choked. Sasuke bit his lip, so hard it bled, to keep from laughing.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh come on honey. Don't be shy. Is this the reason why you would refuse all the dates your father and I continually set up for you?"

Itachi sighed and shook his head. "No mother. And he's not…"

"Your father and I want to meet him!"

"Mother…" He tried, but once Mikoto Uchiha got started, it was impossible to stop her. Sasuke was now holding his breath and wrapping his arm around his stomach, it hurt so much from trying to hold back the laughter. Itachi glared at him, but it had no effect.

"You must bring him to dinner Friday night."

'_God no.'_ "But mother I…"

"No buts Itachi. I hardly ever see either of my sons. I want you both here with your boyfriend on Friday for dinner. I won't take no for an answer." Yep, there was no stopping her.

It was now Sasuke's turn to choke, not from laughter, but because of his mother's including him in the forced invitation.

"I'll call Hinata and let her know. We'll have the whole family. It'll be so nice!" Both males looked like they were being threatened with execution. Sasuke was shaking his head and mouthing 'NO' at Itachi. He didn't want a family dinner.

"No need to call Hinata, mother. Sasuke's right here." Itachi replied with an evil grin in his little brother's direction. He ignored the almost identical evil glare that came back his way.

"Oh good. Sasuke dear? Why didn't you say something. How are you sweetheart?"

This time it was Sasuke's turn to close his eyes. '_Sweetheart? How old am I? 12?'_ "I'm just great mother." There was hint of sarcasm in his voice, but she didn't detect it.

"That's good dear. So you heard about dinner?"

_'Unfortunately yes.'_ "Yes I did."

"Good. Don't forget to tell Hinata."

"Yes mother."

"So have you seen the picture yet?"

Sasuke looked at Itachi with a smirk. "Oh yes. The two looked just so handsome together. I'm sure his boyfriend will be happy to come to dinner on Friday." Itachi was itching to grab his brother by the neck and strangle him.

"Wonderful! See you both in a couple of days."

"Goodbye mother." Both of them chorused.

Itachi pushed the button to hang up, never taking his eyes off of Sasuke's smirking face. "I'm warning you little brother. As of yet, I don't know when. I don't know how. But I am going to make your life miserable. I would kill you, but I would never hear the end of it."

Sasuke stood up still grinning, walking towards the door. "Oh, I know you will. But until then, I'm going to thoroughly enjoy this. Oh, by the way, the real reason I came was to let you know that Naruto and I drew up a draft of the contract. We need to meet with you and go through all the particulars before we do a final version and pass it on to all parties."

Ah yes, business. He could live with business. "When?"

"How about tomorrow around 6 at your place. I'll bring dinner."

"That'll do. Now go away before I act on my urge to kill you."

Sasuke smirked and opened the door. "Have a good day Itachi." He closed the door and leaned back against it for a moment to let loose a chuckle. Sakura looked at him wondering what was so humorous, but she was too timid to ask. He turned and slightly smiled at Sakura and walked away with a wave.

Sakura watched him walk away with stars in her eyes. Sasuke had just gained a new fangirl.

* * *

After driving across town, Sasuke walked into his building at 9:30. He ran into Naruto at the elevators. He glared at his friend on the ride up, at least until the last passenger got off. As soon as the doors closed again and the elevator moved up to the top floor he yanked the earpieces from Naruto's ears. "Don't tell me you're just getting here."

Naruto looked sheepish and fiddled with his dangling earpieces. "Uh…fine, I won't tell you then."

"Dobe…" The Uchiha growled.

"Ok ok…I'll be on time from now on."

Sasuke looked disbelieving.

"Seriously. Promise." Naruto drew an 'X' with his finger over his heart looking as honest as possible. Sasuke couldn't help shaking his head and smiling at his crazy partner.

The elevator got to their floor and they both got off. Sasuke innocently pulled another newspaper – yes, he bought more than one. Three to be exact. "So, seen the paper dobe?"

"Huh?" Sasuke passed him a paper.

"Check the local section."

Naruto flipped through until he reached the right section. He stopped in the middle of the hallway his mouth in the shape of an O. The blush started at his ears and slowly flushed over his entire face and down his neck.

Sasuke leaned over and whispered in his ear. "See something you like dobe?"

Naruto jumped and squeaked going a new shade of red before pointing his finger at Sasuke. "Teme!!" he yelled and ran into his office shutting the door. Sasuke chuckled and continued on to his office.

Hidden in his office, Naruto stared at the picture again. Damn that sexy Uchiha for looking so good. He thought back to the night before. They were dancing so close and it was warm and those long fingers burned into his hips despite the material separating the fingers from his skin. They moved in sync and he remembered practically grinding against him.

Gah!

Naruto groaned and banged his forehead against his desk. His imagination was taking him to places he REALLY didn't need to go. He felt a stirring in his lower regions and suddenly he came to a startling and very uncomfortable conclusion…

He was attracted to Itachi Uchiha!

Yes, Itachi Uchiha.

The Ice King.

Sasuke's brother.

Itachi.

A _male_.

What the hell?!

* * *

The phone rang once...twice…three times…

"Hello."

"Kisame."

"Itachi! What's up man?"

"What's up is there's a picture in the newspaper of myself and a certain blond in a certain club that we were at last night."

"Really? I gotta see that."

"How many Kisame."

"Huh?"

"Don't toy with me Kisame. How many pictures did you take?"

"What are you talking about? I didn't bring a camera with me last night."

"So I could look at your cell phone right now and not find any pictures of any of us from the club last night?"

"Of course not. You think so low of me, my friend." Kisame grinned at the phone. He had already uploaded all the pictures to his computer and deleted them from the phone.

"You know, Kisame, if I found out you had anything to do with this I'll find the biggest knife I own and gut you like a fish."

"Ouch man! That's harsh."

"Goodbye Kisame." Itachi hung up the phone and then rubbed his temples. His headache was getting worse. Sasuke and Kisame…he knew the two had to be working together. Kisame was always snapping pictures. And Sasuke had enough influence to get photos published in such a short period of time. And Naruto…why couldn't he get the vision of the blond dancing with him out of his head?

He growled and went to the medicine cabinet in his personal restroom and swallowed two extra strength Tylenol with a glass of water. He changed his mind. He was going to kill Sasuke AND Kisame.

* * *

Sasuke knocked on the door of Naruto's office and let himself in. Naruto looked up and glared at his friend. "If you're just here to make fun of me you can leave teme."

The younger Uchiha almost felt sorry for his friend.

Almost.

He sat across from the distressed blond and poked him in the forehead. "What are you so upset about? It's a good picture actually."

"Yeah it is nice…isn't it? I had a lot of fun." Naruto replied somewhat wistfully.

"Yeah, me too." Now, time to tease him all over again. "So, business…"

"Yes?" Naruto looked up at him expectantly.

"We're going to Itachi's tomorrow night at 6 to go over the draft." Naruto's eyes widened. He had all kinds of worrying thoughts spinning through his head. And none of it was about the contract. _'How do I face him?' 'Will he be mad?' 'Oh my god…he can't know I'm attracted to him.'_

Sasuke watched a myriad of emotions go through those blue eyes. Who knew a tanned person could turn so pale? He could practically see and hear the wheels turning in the dobe's head. _'And now to bring the hammer down.'_ He thought with a smirk.

"And Friday, my parents are having a family dinner. They want to meet you."

Naruto paled even further. "W-What?! Why?"

Sasuke shrugged. "They saw the picture. They want to meet the man who actually got Itachi to do something as normal as dance." He thought he saw fear in the blond's eyes. He decided not to mention the minor details, like the fact that his mother thought Naruto was Itachi's boyfriend. My god, he was evil. "Well, I guess I should let you get back to work."

"Uh huh…" Naruto nodded without really paying much attention. He was on information overload. He didn't even notice Sasuke leave the room.

* * *

"Hinata, I think I broke him."

She laughed at her worried husband. Sasuke was sitting on a bar stool, chin in hand, mulling over the day while watching his wife cook dinner. "Nonsense, he's probably just shocked. I mean it's not every day you find out you're attracted to another man."

"I know it's shocking, but I honestly feel kind of bad. He looked scared to death at the prospect of meeting my folks."

Hinata stopped stirring to turn to her husband with a hand on her hip. "Sasuke, anyone would be afraid of meeting your folks. I mean, seriously, your family's scarier than just about anyone. And that's coming from a Hyuuga."

Sasuke sighed and brushed his hair away from his face. Things were getting much more complicated. He knew Itachi could handle his crazy schemes. But Naruto…he was in the middle of something he didn't know anything about. He didn't want things to go too far and hurt his friend in the process.

Hinata could sense Sasuke's uncertainty and walked over to him and placing her smaller hand on top of his. "Sasuke, you can just end it if you want."

For a moment, he seriously thought about it. But then he remembered the look in the blue eyes when he first saw the picture with Itachi. It wasn't shock, or awe, or anything resembling annoyance. It was a sort of happiness he'd never seen from the blond before. He knew his friend was pretty much all alone, his guardian not withstanding. He had a few friends, but most of them didn't live near him. And he didn't think Naruto had ever been in a relationship with anyone. He'd secretly seen the longing in his best friend's eyes whenever he saw another couple.

Then he recalled Itachi showing shades of jealousy the entire night while Neji was with Naruto. His brother had always been more of a loner. He knew his father had put a lot pressure on him to take on the family business. And Itachi well exceeded anyone's expectations. But the man had no life outside of work. He needed one, and he really believed Naruto to be the man who could give him one. He couldn't stop now, not when he was so close to seeing success in his self-proclaimed mission. If he really wanted to rationalize it, he could say it was for their own good. Both would thank him in the end, even if they did hate him for a while.

"No…not yet. It'll be ok."

Hinata nodded with a smile and placed his dinner in front of him. Then she sat next to him with her own. Onigiri, grilled pork topped with tomato sauce and vegetables. "So, what about tomorrow night?"

"It's just business."

A devilish grin lit her face. "It doesn't have to be all business, you know. You really should tease Itachi a bit. It's the perfect opportunity to see what's going on in his head."

"I don't know if it's possible to see what's going on in my brother's head."

"A dropped pencil here, a bend there…" Sasuke raised a brow.

"You're enjoying this more than I am!" Hinata laughed.

"Maybe."

"No maybes about it love. You're more evil than I am."

"You wound me dear…right here." She pointed to her heart.

"Che…right. I'm onto you Hinata Uchiha. I thought you were such an angel when I married you, only for you to turn out to be the devil in disguise."

Sasuke laughed as he dodged a thrown piece of tomato.

* * *

Itachi sat on his couch, typing away on his laptop, waiting for his brother and his friend to show up. He felt strange. It wasn't often he actually sat in his own living room. Most of the time, he came home from work late with some kind of take out, ate it in the kitchen, then went to his bedroom to read a bit before going to bed.

The knock on his door came at 6:15. He opened the door and immediately glared at the two males. "You're late."

Sasuke and Naruto both pointed at each other. Itachi rolled his eyes and gestured for them to come in. The younger Uchiha passed a large bag to the older one. Itachi nodded and walked to the kitchen. Naruto looked around noticing that, despite the expensive taste in furniture, the place was mostly bare. "Hey Itachi? You don't spend much time here do you?"

"Eh…not really." Itachi replied from the kitchen. Sasuke took a seat on the couch and opened his briefcase. Naruto took out his laptop and plugged it in, seating himself on the floor. He shrugged out of his jacket and pulled off his tie, tossing them both in an empty chair and then unbuttoned his shirt leaving it open showing a white t-shirt. Sasuke just took off his jacket. Itachi walked back in with plates and glasses then brought out the cartons of food and a bottle of sake.

Neither had noticed until now, but it was the first time for Naruto – and the first time in a long time for Sasuke, that they had seen Itachi so casual. His hair was still tied back in his trademark style. But he was dressed down in black sweats and a plain black t-shirt. His feet were bare, which Naruto kept staring at in envy, since he kind of hated showing his crummy feet. It was strange to see Itachi looking so normal.

Observing the usually cold and detached male so relaxed in his natural element made Naruto realize that there was another layer to Itachi. And he wanted to find out more about him. He also felt the need to pull that tie out of his hair and run his fingers through the long strands of black. He fought back his nervousness at being in the same room as the man he found himself attracted to. But once the food was in his possession, he quickly forgot about being nervous and started eating.

Between bites, Sasuke passed Itachi a copy of the contract and Naruto opened the file on his laptop. Itachi slowly read through every single word of the contract examining the wording, clarity, and any possible loopholes while sipping on his sake.

"Who wrote this?" Itachi asked suddenly.

"Mostly Naruto. I just changed a few things here and there." Sasuke smirked at Naruto who had looked up nervously at the mentioning of his name.

"Ah."

Both young men waited for Itachi to elaborate.

"Hn. Impressive." He glanced at Naruto. "I see why Sasuke values you so much." He gave him a slight smile. Naruto smiled back.

Itachi turned back to the document, this time reading through it with a more critical eye, using a pen to make changes. When he was finished, he passed the document back to his brother. Sasuke took a pen in his fingers slowly twirling it subconsciously as he read the changes. Suddenly, Hinata's voice flitted through his head and he smirked before dropping the pen on the floor making sure it rolled under the couch. He groaned and bent over without leaving the couch, halfheartedly searching under it for his pen. He looked up at Naruto sitting on the floor across from him. "Hey dobe."

"Hmm?"

"Can you see my pen under here?"

Naruto innocently got on his hands and knees and crawled closer so he could see under the couch. "Move your feet. I think I see it."

Sasuke put his feet on the couch while Naruto leaned on his elbows to look under the couch, leaving his backside in the air, right in view of a certain Uchiha. Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke could see Itachi staring. He didn't know it, but his older brother had started staring as soon as Naruto started crawling across the floor.

Itachi tried to look away, but the view was too tempting and his wayward eyes kept finding their way back to that cute backside. Unbidden thoughts of what he could do to that tight ass flew through his head. It took every bit of self control he possessed to keep blood from gushing out of his nose. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, his breath came out in a whoosh. Naruto - intent on getting to the just-out-of-reach pen - had stretched his hand out under the couch. And as his arm moved back and forth, his backside wiggled with it. Itachi jumped up and with a mumbled 'be right back,' he removed himself from the room.

Sasuke practically burst out laughing. Oh God, the look on Itachi's face was priceless! Naruto finally sat up, pen in hand, having no clue of the chaos he had just unwittingly caused. "Here you go teme."

"Thanks." Yes, he was very thankful. At this rate, Itachi would be carrying the dobe away over his shoulder within a week. Skip end of the year. He might have this in the bag by the end of the month!

* * *

Itachi was in the bathroom, his palms flat against the wall as he stared at himself in the mirror. He kept taking deep breaths, trying to will away the sudden hard on he was sporting. He growled to himself. He was an Uchiha! Uchihas prided themselves on their control. So what in the world had happened to his?! Because right now he couldn't seem to achieve any. He looked himself in the eye. _'What are you doing Itachi?'_ He wasn't supposed to feel this way. He was the Ice King. He didn't need anyone in his life. There was no way…

But Uchiha's also knew to look at facts. Itachi couldn't deny his current – he looked down – problem. He also couldn't deny the foreign feelings he displayed at Amaterasu the other night every time Neji was near Naruto. And he certainly could not deny that, from day one, the blond intrigued him.

Itachi groaned and lightly tapped his forehead against the mirror over and over again. At least he'd finally gotten rid of his little problem. But a bigger problem resided in its place. Because, for the first time in his 33 years of living, he was attracted to someone.

And for the first time since he was a child, he didn't know what to do.

-

-

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n:** Poor Itachi can't even control himself. And what?! He's attracted to Naruto?! Who'd have thought? Next up: Family dinner! I've already got most of the chapter done, so it should be up by the end of the week.


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n: **Thanks for the awesome reviews! I'm happy everyone is loving my continuous torture of Itachi, as well as my version of Hinata and the introduction of Mikoto to the mix. Well ladies and gents, it's family dinner time! Enjoy it for the hilarity is.**  
**

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina.

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 6**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

Naruto grumbled and tossed another outfit on the floor with the rest of the reject pile. It was early Friday morning. In exactly 12 hours 28 minutes and 42 seconds he would be sitting in a living room full of Uchihas. Why, oh why did he always end up in these situations?

It was all the teme's fault.

He tossed another tie into the pile. It unnerved him – the prospect of meeting the parents of Itachi and Sasuke Uchiha. What would they think of him? An orphan, no degrees to speak of, and he was never good with all that etiquette crap.

Oh god, just shoot him already!

Besides, how was he supposed to face the object of his now very active dreams? Yes, he was dreaming of Itachi now. Why the hell did they have to be so damn vivid?! Waking up with morning wood or slippery boxers was no fun.

He growled and yanked at his blond hair in frustration. Maybe he could get out of it. A well timed excuse couldn't hurt right? Ugh! Unfortunately, Sasuke would see right through it. Maybe he could feign illness and not go to work. A sick day sounded really good right now.

His cell phone rang a familiar jingle. "Hello?"

"Good morning Usuratonkachi."

Naruto groaned. "Teme. What do you want?"

"Just making sure you weren't going to try calling in sick to get out of going to my parents house tonight."

...damn.

"Why would I do that?" On the other side of the line Sasuke was thinking _'For the same reason I would.'_ But if he had to go, so did Naruto.

"Who knows dobe. Just making sure."

"Yeah yeah teme. I'll be there."

"Oh…and be on time dobe. I mean it. I am still your employer, despite what you may believe."

"I'll be on time ok, jeez. Now get off before I'm late."

A chuckle. "Bye dobe."

Naruto glared at the phone like it was his worst enemy. He wanted to throw it, jump on it, and smash it to bits. But it was a company phone, so Sasuke would kill him. He grumbled, putting the phone on the dresser and kept looking through ties.

"Aha! Finally!" Naruto stopped searching and grabbed a towel and jumped in the shower.

Sitting at the bottom of the drawer was a solitary tie, devoid of orange.

* * *

Sasuke stood by the elevator, leaning against the wall and looking at his watch. The ticks counted upward – or downward, depending on the point of view. In Sasuke's case, he was counting down. The elevator doors opened and into the hall stepped a winded Naruto. He turned, seeing who was - at the moment - the bane of his existence, and glared with every bit of negative emotion he could muster.

Sasuke ignored him, looking back down at his watch and then back at his friend. "You almost didn't make it dobe."

"Shut up teme. I'm on time for once, so don't bother me."

Sasuke probably would have said something more if he hadn't been shocked into silence. He looked Naruto up and down, closed his eyes and then opened them up again to make sure he wasn't imagining things. There was a distinct lack of a certain color.

Sasuke blinked.

Not one stitch of orange! At all! This calls for a celebration! He would've danced if he wasn't in public.

In fact… He looked closer.

He bought him that tie. He had always assumed that Naruto burned all the ties he bought, since he never saw the dobe in any of them.

"Hmm…nervous dobe?" Sasuke gestured to the tie.

Naruto glared, knowing Sasuke had hit the nail right on the head. "Shut up teme."

* * *

Itachi locked himself in his office after informing Sakura that he was not to be disturbed for any reason. He tapped his fingers on the desk waiting for his computer to boot. Meanwhile, his thoughts floated between a certain blond and family dinner. Unfortunately, those thoughts began to intersect since those two immovable objects were on a collision course. Now whether it would be a disaster of colossal proportions or love at first sight remains to be seen. Knowing his mother, she would immediately begin to gush over the blond.

His father, though, was the wild card. He really didn't know how he'd react. Knowing how much his father wanted little Uchiha babies running around, he'd probably be pissed. He hoped mother hadn't told him that Naruto was his boyfriend. Or else the dinner might just be upgraded from bad to miserable. Obviously, he would tell them it was a misunderstanding, but getting his mother to accept it was a whole different thing.

And his dear little brother…the start of this whole mess…refused to take Naruto with him, citing the need to pick up Hinata. Such a lame excuse, damn him. He had now been designated the one to pick up Naruto and bring him to the Uchiha home. The last thing he wanted was to be stuck in the same vehicle with the man that he somehow gained an attraction toward. This whole scenario was destined to go badly…at least for him

* * *

Itachi and Naruto both had the same exact expressions of dread on their faces as they walked up the stairs to their doom...uh...the door. Both of them had been silent through the entire car ride. Each of them had too much on their minds to make any sort of conversation. Itachi took a deep breath and raised his fingertip to ring the doorbell, while Naruto was behind him looking slightly ill. Before he had a chance to push the button, the door was thrown wide open and bright light flooded the porch.

"Itachi dear! You made it."

'_God help me.'_

Itachi was gripped in a huge hug. How could a woman so tiny be so strong?

"Oh you look so handsome! I'm so glad you could come." Mikoto gushed.

'_Like I had a choice…'_

Mikoto looked behind Itachi at the blond, who was hoping to go unnoticed. Fat chance with bright hair like his.

"And you must be the boyfriend."

All of Naruto's thoughts derailed and his eyes were wide as saucers. _'Wait...The what?!' _He gaped at the woman in front of him. Both of them were yanked inside before Naruto could begin to even make sense of her statement.

Sasuke and Hinata sat back and watched from the background. Sasuke was actually wishing for some popcorn because he _knew_ this was going to be good.

Itachi was suddenly face to face with his father – who did not look happy. If Itachi had not been a proper Uchiha, he might have cringed. But he wasn't called the Ice King for nothing.

"Is this true?" Fugaku asked. Cold almost identical dark eyes held Itachi's own.

Itachi opened his mouth to answer but he was interrupted by a gasp from Mikoto. Her eyes were wide and her hand flew up to her mouth. Fugaku turned his attention to his wife and then looked past her, taking note of the 'boyfriend' for the first time. He almost gasped himself at what he was actually seeing.

"Mother? You ok?" Itachi asked.

Suddenly Naruto was being squeezed the life out of by the much smaller woman. Naruto, sort of in a panic, flicked his eyes toward Itachi who shrugged at the woman's antics. When she let go they saw tears in her eyes. Fugaku stared at Naruto for a full minute. Sasuke and Hinata stared in confusion at the strangeness of the whole thing. Naruto shuffled his feet, completely embarrassed by all the scrutiny.

"You look so much like him." Mikoto elaborated in a loud whisper as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

Naruto was completely confused. Her explanation didn't help any. And the more time he spent in the foyer, the more he thought the family was completely wacky and he needed to get the hell out of there.

"What is your name?" Fugaku's stern voice broke the silence.

"Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki."

This caused a new flood of tears and another crushing hug.

"Mother, let him go. Come on." Itachi was trying to peel her off of the blond. He was sure Naruto was probably already resolving to never ever step foot near their house again. Sasuke groaned. He had no clue what was going on, but his family had to be going batty. When they'd finally gotten her away from the blond, Hinata wrapped an arm around the crying woman trying to calm her down. Itachi came up to Naruto and tried to reassure the wary male. "Don't worry. She's not always like this. She's just been through a bit of a shock." Naruto tilted his head in question. Itachi smiled slightly trying to put him at ease. "You'll see."

Sasuke looked up at his brother confused. "What is going on?"

Itachi shrugged nonchalantly. "Mother saw a ghost."

* * *

"So you are Minato and Kushina's son." Fugaku's steely eyes were focused on Naruto. Mikoto had finally settled down and they were all in the living room. Naruto sat nervously in a chair in the corner. He kind of felt like he was being cross examined. The oldest Uchiha was quite intimidating. Naruto swallowed hard and nodded.

"You don't go by Namikaze." Naruto was wondering why every time the man asked a question it wasn't really phrased as a question.

"No. I was sick of seeing pity every time someone saw my last name. So I just use my mother's."

"Hn." Yes, he was an even more intimidating version of the ice king.

"So what do you do?"

"Uh…actually, I work for your company."

Fugaku's eyebrow raised. "Really?" What was it with the eyebrow raise thing? A family trait or something?

"Yes father, he works with me." Sasuke answered. Fugaku's eyes narrowed at the wording Sasuke used.

"With?"

Warning alarms sounded in Itachi's head. He knew where his father was going with that one word question and he knew it didn't bode well.

Sasuke stared back at his father not backing down. "Yes…with. He's the Director of Marketing and Public Relations. The branch wouldn't be half as successful without him."

"Ah."

"He's very good at what he does." Itachi's deep voice added in as reassurance.

Naruto looked around in surprise. Not only did the teme stick up for him, but so did Itachi. He knew from the questions Fugaku asked, that he was trying to intimidate him. It felt good to have backup.

Fugaku relaxed in his chair. "Hn." Both brothers breathed a sigh of relief. Their father conceded...for now anyway.

Mikoto figured it was time to change the subject and sat next to Naruto and gave him a smile of reassurance. "I know you're probably wondering about my sanity at this point. It was just a bit of a shock, you know? You see, your parents were great friends of ours."

Naruto's eyes widened and he looked over at Sasuke, who seemed to be just as surprised as Naruto. He turned to Itachi. Itachi nodded.

"W-why didn't anyone tell me?" His grandparents were really his only connection to his parents and they were always gone traveling around the world without a care. And now to find out he had another connection…and they were people he already knew…

"Sasuke wouldn't have known. You're both the same age you know, so he was just a baby. Itachi was a little boy then. He met you once although he probably wouldn't remember much of it. You were such a cute little thing." Naruto looked over at Itachi who smirked. He blushed and quickly turned back to Mikoto.

"After your parents died, we wanted to adopt you." The shocks didn't seem to be ending for Naruto. Adopted? By the Uchihas? He and Sasuke could've been brothers? Itachi, the star of his nightly dreams, might've been his brother? He cringed at the thought.

"But Tsunade and Jiraiya wouldn't allow it. They said they refused to allow you to turn out like the rest of the Uchihas."

'_What was so wrong with being an Uchiha?'_ Naruto wondered. He looked first at Fugaku, then Itachi, and finally to Sasuke. _'Ok, scratch that.'_ At first glance, they all seemed like cold-hearted, uptight, proud, overbearing, antisocial, evil bastards. But they weren't so bad once you got to know them – well at least Sasuke and Itachi anyway. He wasn't so sure about father Uchiha. Actually, the teme still was a cold-hearted, uptight, proud, overbearing, antisocial, evil bastard. He just overlooked it all.

"And well…you know what happened after that. There were so many changes for you. Fugaku and I talked about it and decided it would be better not to get in touch with you. Your life was in such disarray, we figured you were better off without us causing more problems."

Naruto nodded in understanding.

"But now, here you are, back in our lives again. It must be fate! I can't believe you're Itachi's boyfriend!" There's that word again.

"Uh…Mrs. Uchiha…"

"Oh, you've made me so happy!" Sasuke winced. Itachi covered his eyes with one pale hand. He could practically see the hearts in her eyes and around her head. Who knew his own mother was a yaoi fangirl.

"Uh…Mrs. Uchiha…about that…"

She wasn't even listening…now she had turned her attention to Itachi. "No wonder you never liked the girls we picked for you dear. I never thought you were gay."

"Mother!!" Itachi glared at his mother. He couldn't believe she said that in front of everyone. Naruto was blushing deep red and slumped down in his chair wishing he could disappear in the seat cushions. Sasuke was almost in tears, trying to hide behind his wife in order to keep his laughter hidden from everyone. Except Hinata was having a hard time holding in her laughter as well. Fugaku was glaring at his son. Itachi could see the promise of a long talk later.

"Itachi honey, don't be shy. We completely support you, don't we Fugaku?"

"…"

"Fugaku?"

Itachi took the pause and ran with it. "Mother, Father, it's not what you think. This is just a huge misunderstanding. Naruto is NOT my boyfriend."

Naruto looked back up. Of course it was a misunderstanding. He knew that. But why did hearing those words hurt his heart so much?

"What? But you were together…"

"We were at a club with friends. We happened to dance together. That's all."

"…Oh."

Can you say AWKWARD?

"…"

"Oh, it looks like dinner is ready."

Thank you Mikoto. Saved by the food!

* * *

Dinner went much smoother. Now that Fugaku knew Naruto was not "the boyfriend," he stopped glaring daggers at his son and stopped being so standoffish toward Naruto. Right now, Mikoto was in the middle of telling a story about his parents.

"…but your father wouldn't take no for an answer. He ended up following her around for days and days until she finally agreed to a date just to get him away from her." Naruto joined the others in laughing. He was happy to hear stories about the parents he never really got to know. He almost felt like part of the Uchiha family for a moment in time.

"So, would anyone like more sake?"

Naruto stood up. "Don't get up, Mrs. Uchiha. I'll get my own. Relax." Mikoto did as he asked and sat back down while Naruto stood up and started walking toward the bar to pour himself a drink. Hinata saw the direction he was going and grinned evilly as he got close to where she was sitting. Sasuke watched his wife, wondering what evil thoughts were going through her head. As soon as Naruto walked by, she slightly stuck out one dainty foot.

"Wha…ahh…" Naruto tripped, flailing his arms as he tried to keep his balance but failed. Squeezing his eyes shut, he fell forward... "Mmph."

…right onto Itachi.

More specifically, his _lips_ landed on Itachi's.

Itachi's eyes went wide.

Fugaku's mouth dropped open.

Sasuke stared.

Mikoto squealed.

Hinata sported a smirk.

And the last person to know what was going on slowly opened his eyes and suddenly blushed like one of Sasuke's favorite foods, his eyes almost bugging out. He was kissing Itachi.

He…was…_KISSING_…Itachi!

Naruto ran through a gamut of emotions – happiness, worry, fear. Happy that he was kissing the object of his late night desires. Worry that Itachi was disgusted and that Sasuke would never let him live this down, teasing him for the rest of his life. Fear that either Itachi or Fugaku would kill him.

Naruto pushed himself off with a smack, swiftly moving backwards only to fall on his backside. He blinked and pressed a finger to his lips trying to confirm in his mind that what happened actually DID happen.

Itachi blinked in shock. That was…unexpected. His lips tingled slightly and he had the sudden urge to lick the remnants of Naruto's taste from them.

Sasuke turned incredulous eyes onto his devilish wife. She smiled and shrugged slightly. She had to put a hand over her mouth to stop the giggle when she saw the words "you are the devil" leave her husband's lips. Then she turned to Naruto, who still had yet to move from his seat on the floor. "Oh, Naruto, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to trip you like that."

That broke the still blushing Naruto from his stupor and he jumped up, forgetting all about the drink, and excused himself - practically running to the nearest bathroom. Sasuke made a show of patting his wife's hand. "Don't worry dear. I'm sure he knows it was an accident."

Itachi finally recovered and sat straighter not daring to look at his father, who he knew would show disapproval. Nor his mother, who was probably gushing over the whole thing. And definitely not his brother, who he knew was enjoying every bit of this. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if he had somehow orchestrated this. He flicked his eyes over to his sister-in-law…no, she wouldn't do something deliberate like that.

Mikoto was smiling. Her son might deny that Naruto was his boyfriend. But he never actually said he didn't like males. The female Uchiha was very perceptive. And as she watched her son, she could tell he wasn't disgusted at all by the kiss. And he didn't look all that adverse to the person who locked lips with him either, despite him declaring otherwise.

She looked over at her other son and daughter. There was no question in her mind that the two had something to do with what just happened. At that moment, Hinata happened to look right at her. Mikoto winked at her and Hinata blushed slightly knowing she was caught. Sasuke wondered why she was blushing and looked over at his mother who had a grin on her face.

Sasuke stopped himself from grinning. He had just found himself another ally in his plot to get Itachi laid.

* * *

The rest of the night went by without a hitch. There was no mention of "the incident." Naruto had spent 10 minutes in the bathroom willing away the blush that seemed to have been permanently taking up residence, before coming back to the living room.

More stories were told – some about Minato and Kushina, others about the Uchiha brother's antics as children. By the time it was all over, Naruto was practically one of the family. Mikoto had hugged him again at the door. Fugaku shook his hand.

"Now Naruto dear, feel free to come by any time."

"Thanks Mrs. Uchiha."

"Oh please, call me Mikoto. We're practically family."

If Naruto wasn't in the presence of so many, he might've cried. The word family was something he didn't get to hear that often. It was nice to know that she thought of him that way.

The group said their goodbyes and descended the stairs toward their waiting cars. Naruto practically attached himself to his best friend. There was no way he was going home with Itachi…not after what happened.

"Itachi. Thanks for the ride. I think I'll just hitch one with the teme now."

"No way dobe. Why should I take you home?"

"Because it makes sense. I don't live that far from you. Itachi lives on the other side of town. Why should he have to go out of the way?"

"It does make sense little brother." Itachi readily agreed with the blonde. He didn't think having Naruto in his car for any period of time right now was a good idea. It was awkward enough on the way here. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like going home.

Sasuke sighed. There was no way out of it, he supposed. If he argued too much, Itachi would get suspicious.

"Fine dobe. Hurry up and get in then."

"Shut up teme. Don't rush me. I'll take as long as I want."

"Hn…take too long and you'll get left."

"Grr…stupid teme." Naruto grumbled as he waved once more at Itachi and then at the parents on the porch before getting in the car.

Itachi shook his head and drove off toward his home, where he knew nothing but self analyzing awaited him.

Back on the porch, Fugaku and Mikoto stood watching their sons leave. "It turned out to be such a nice dinner didn't it dear?"

"Hn."

"I'm so glad we got to meet Naruto. He's such a nice young man."

"Hn."

"It would be nice if he and Itachi did get together though." Mikoto turned and went back inside.

Fugaku choked lightly, following who he considered a slightly delusional wife inside.

-

-

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n:** So family dinner is done! I hope you all enjoyed that one. I couldn't help throwing in that part inspired by the sasunaru moment we all remember. It seemed like such a crazy idea. Poor Itachi keeps getting more and more people who are scheming against him while poor Naruto is just along for the ride. Please feel free to review. :)


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n: **So, I just found out from one of my reviewers that I didn't have anonymous reviews enabled. Ahh, I didn't know! So to all my anonymous readers out there, I apologize. And I changed the settings, so feel free to review now. And thanks to all my reviewers for keeping me writing. Well, Utena-Puchiko-nyu wanted some Iruka and xxDarkKitsunexx wanted some Gaara. You're going to get both in one chapter! Also, thank you to HatakeKakashiSensi. There was a line in your review that I just HAD to use in the end of Itachi's little soliloquy.

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 7**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

Those bright red numbers were mocking him, Itachi had decided. It was 3:30 in the morning and his eyes were wide open. Why? He had too much on his mind.

No…

Well, if he wanted to be more specific, he had too much of HIM on his mind.

Yes, Naruto. The blond haired, blue eyed object of his obsession.

It was all Sasuke's fault though. Kisame's too. Stupid club. Stupid picture. Stupid little brothers wanting to get back at you for who knows what. How his mother took one little picture and assumed that he and the blond were in a relationship, he couldn't understand.

Considering the strange way it began, the dinner had ended up going rather well, really. The beginning, understandably, was shaky. His father was downright cold as ice. His mother was estatic at the idea of the two being together and then went a little crazy once she learned his so-called boyfriend was the long lost son of Minato Namikaze. Naruto just kept blushing.

He looked so cute when he blushed.

And for god's sake, why did it take him so long to admit the whole convoluted mess was a misunderstanding? A whole lot of father's inquisition of the blond would have been avoided. His mother's fangirling would have been avoided. Naruto wouldn't have felt so uncomfortable. And he could've stopped his, now considered evil, brother from hiding his laughter at the whole situation.

Sasuke…damn him.

At least after his statement of denial – although now he wasn't so sure he wanted to deny it – the chill disappeared from his father's demeanor, his mother calmed down, and Naruto stopped blushing.

Pity...he kind of missed the blond blushing.

But of course, when you thought nothing could get worse, it did. He touched his lips with a finger. Yes, it was accidental. But looking back now, he kind of wished it wasn't. Thus, the reason he couldn't sleep. Because every time he closed his eyes it was all he could see. That tanned face so close to his, those wide sky blue eyes staring at him in shock and maybe a little something more, those slightly chapped lips attached to his. No one in the room had any idea how much he really wanted to slide the tip of his tongue over those lips just to see how Naruto would respond. He was curious. No, maybe more than that. He wanted a taste. He wanted to see what the other man tasted like.

That brings up a whole new topic. It begged the question: Was he gay? Itachi didn't think so. The thought of a man in his bed made him cringe in disgust just as much as the thought of a woman in that same position.

So really, it was just Naruto.

Naruto was the only person he could imagine kissing. Naruto was the only man he could imagine in his bed. Naruto was the only one he could imagine waking up next to every single day for the rest of his life.

He wanted Naruto.

Only Naruto.

And what an Uchiha wants, an Uchiha gets.

* * *

Naruto tossed and turned...

And tossed and turned...

And tossed and turned again...

Finally, he growled and sat up, throwing the pillow into the darkness, hearing it strike the nearest wall. It wasn't helping him right now anyway. He glared at the blinking numbers in the darkness. They read 3:30 a.m. He couldn't sleep dammit! At least it was Saturday. He didn't have to work. But still... He wanted to sleep!

But nooooo, he couldn't do that. His mind was too busy replaying what he had now dubbed "The Incident."

Of course, it was an accident. What were the odds that he would trip over a foot and land fully in the lap of the man he was attracted to, aligned exactly in the position for their lips to meet perfectly? If odds were that good, he should've played the lottery. He could do the exact same thing over and over again verbatim, and he doubted it would ever again achieve the same desired result. If that was fate, it was cruel. So cruel to allow him a taste of the forbidden fruit, when all it would do was make him want more of it. He was sure Itachi was probably disgusted by it, even if he didn't show it. No one said anything about it…probably because they all wanted to forget it.

He didn't think he'd ever be able to face the man again.

But he would die happy if he could have another chance at _that_.

Oh god, his dreams would be even more vivid now if he could ever get to sleep again. You see, now it wasn't just a visual anymore. It was also taste, touch, smell, sound. He could remember it all...the slight taste of sake, the feel of those soft lips on his, the hint of sake as well as a scent that was all Itachi. As he stared in shock into similar shocked eyes, he could make out all the dark hues that made up Itachi's irises – close enough to see that the eyes were not truly black but a deep dark brown. Lastly, he heard the slight moan that he wasn't sure came from him or the Uchiha, as well as the brief smacking sound that was made when their lips suddenly parted. His senses were now completely full of the Uchiha and he wasn't sure if he could deal with all of that showing up in his dreams.

He groaned, flopping back on the flat mattress, sans pillow, pulling at spiking strands of hair. What could he do now? He was way beyond attraction now. It was bordering on that "L" word territory, even though he hardly knew the man.

He sat up again, eyes wide in realization. "Oh my god…this means I'm gay."

Oh god.

Could his life get any more complicated?

How the hell did this happen? He remembered very well being attracted to girls all through school. He flirted with hoards of them. Dated a few of them, albeit not for very long. For some reason, girls always looked to him as the sweet male best friend everyone loved to hang out with.

Oh…

Isn't that always a sign? It was in all the movies and tv shows.

Oh my god, he was gay…

For Itachi.

Sasuke was going to kill him.

Fugaku was going to kill him.

Well, at least Mikoto would be happy.

Itachi? Well, he wasn't really sure how he would take it. He seemed to take the whole misunderstanding thing fairly well. Of course, that was different from him finding out that Naruto really _was_ willing to be the boyfriend.

And dad? How would he feel about this? He was a very tolerant person, but was he really that open-minded? Would he be disappointed? Would he be angry? Or maybe he would be ok with it...yeah, think positive. Oh no, he hoped he wouldn't get another sex speech. The last one was embarrassing enough. Iruka's so single minded in his protection of him, he'd probably threaten poor Itachi with pain and death without giving anyone a chance to explain anything. That would be even worse…

He moaned and fell back on the mattress slamming his head back over and over. He hated his life.

And he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.

* * *

An insistent knocking woke Naruto from his troubled sleep. He groaned and tried to roll over and ignore it. But whoever was knocking was persistent. ARGH! Naruto threw the covers off and stumbled towards the door rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He threw the door open with a vengeance. "WHAT?!"

"Now is that any way to say hello to your guardian?"

The sleepy half closed eyes suddenly widened with awareness. "Dad?" he mumbled sleepily.

A tall man stood in front of the door. He had his hair in a high ponytail, a scar went across his face and he had a bright smile on his face. "Hello Naruto."

"Dad!" Naruto grinned, now wide awake, and made to pull him inside.

"Wait a minute. I have a surprise that I brought with me." He reached to the side and pulled a pale young man next to him. He had deep red hair and green eyes. But the most distinctive part was the tattoo on his forehead.

"GAARA!!" Naruto yelled in excitement, this time making good on his previous actions and yanked both of them inside. "What are you both doing here?!"

Iruka took a seat on the couch while Gaara took the seat next to him. Naruto went to his bedroom, stretching along the way, and grabbed a t-shirt, pulling it over his head as he walked back to the living room.

"Well, since I'm on vacation, my best friend Genma asked me to stay with him for the weekend. You remember him right? He lives here in the city." Naruto nodded and walked toward the kitchen to get some water. "Now you know I would never come all the way to Tokyo and not spend at least a day with you. As for Gaara, I just happened to run into him on the train."

"I'm here with Kankuro." The monotone voice added. "I came to see if I could stay with you. I refuse to share with him and his puppets."

"Sure you can stay." Naruto yelled from the kitchen. "Kankuro doing another round of puppet shows?"

"Yes. The next three days. We leave Monday evening."

"Cool! So we have the whole weekend!" Naruto walked back in tossing each of the males a bottle of water, opening his own and chugging it down.

"So, long night Naruto?" Iruka asked.

"Eh…kinda. Why?"

"Because it's almost 12:30 and you were still in bed."

Ah yes…that. "It's that late?" His stomach took a moment to reveal how late it was. Iruka laughed.

"How about I take you both out to lunch?"

"Who am I to refuse free lunch?" Naruto replied with a grin. He grabbed his friend's bag. "I'll throw your stuff in my room Gaara. Be right back, I gotta go shower."

Gaara and Iruka sat on the couch. Gaara was content to sit quietly. Iruka got up and looked around the living room. Various photos and other knick knacks adorned shelves around the room. He saw old pictures of himself with Naruto, some of Naruto and the Subakus, and Naruto with Sasuke. Another particular picture that was sitting near the back of one of the shelves caught his eye. 'Well, that's…interesting." He stared at it for a bit until he heard Naruto moving around and assumed he was out of the shower. "Hey Naruto, how's Sasuke doing?"

"Oh the teme, he's fine."

Iruka shook his head. "You still call each other names?"

"Of course, he really is a teme after all."

"We should invite him to lunch with us. It's been a year or so since I've seen him."

"He'd probably be too busy or something."

"Won't know unless you ask."

"You're going to make me call him aren't you?" Naruto grumbled.

Iruka smiled, knowing Naruto couldn't argue. He could almost see his eyes rolling even if he wasn't in the room.

Naruto sighed and rolled his eyes then grabbed his phone and pushed one button. He wasn't all that sure he wanted to show his face to his friend after last night's embarrassing affair.

"Hello Dobe."

"Yo teme. My dad's in town. He wants to see if you'll come to lunch with us." _'Please say no, please say no.'_

"I can't, I'm working on something. Tell him hello though." _'Yes!'_

"Alright, I guess I'll…"

"Wait." There was a pause. He could faintly hear Hinata in the background. "Hinata said, come over here. She'll make you lunch." _'NO!'_ Naruto could already hear his plans crashing and burning.

"Well, actually there are three of us. I have someone else with me too."

"Just come over dobe."

"Fine…we'll be there soon. Since she's doing all the work, I'm gonna stop by the store and get dessert."

"Well, you know what to get me."

"Uh huh." _'Dark chocolate covered strawberries.'_

"Oh, and get some pocky."

Naruto raised a brow. He never asked for pocky before. Who wanted pocky? "Alright teme. See you later."

"Bye."

He walked in the living room dressed in a orange hoodie and old faded blue jeans that were slightly frayed at the bottom. He glared at his guardian. "You know I hate you right?"

"And I love you too Naruto."

* * *

Sasuke put his cell phone away and looked at his wife. "He'll be here soon. He's bringing another person too." Hinata smiled and nodded going back to the stove and added enough food for three more.

Sasuke then looked over at Itachi, who was sorting through papers. "And he's coming with your pocky." Itachi tensed up slightly.

Inwardly, Sasuke was grinning. He neglected to tell the dobe exactly who was here. If he had, he was sure Naruto would have bowed out with some kind of lame excuse. Naruto probably didn't want to be anywhere near Itachi after last night. And Itachi seemed a little tense when he mentioned Naruto was coming. Could it be that Itachi enjoyed that kiss more than he let on? He looked shocked at first, but as usual that patented Ice King look replaced it and he never showed any other emotions afterward, so he wasn't sure. But he looked a bit nervous just now.

Sasuke chuckled. This luncheon was certainly unexpected, but definitely perfect timing. But this time, he didn't have a plan. Guess he and Hinata would just have to wing it. Maybe he would just sit back and watch the sparks fly. That would be fun.

Itachi, meanwhile, was thinking of what to do. He had decided he wanted Naruto. But what was he supposed to do now? He really wasn't sure how to go about it beyond just pulling him into his body, kissing him until he couldn't breathe and declaring the blond as his. He hadn't planned on the possibility of seeing the blond until at some point during the work week, so he hadn't given much thought on what to do if he actually saw Naruto before that time. He groaned and rubbed his temples. He hated not having more experience with these kinds of situations.

* * *

Naruto was just tying his shoes and was about to grab his keys when…

"So, who's this?" Naruto followed the pointing finger to what was probably the last picture one would ever want an overprotective guardian to see. It was the picture he clipped from the newspaper of him and Itachi at Amaterasu. He blushed full scarlet.

"Uh…no one…really."

"Uh huh…and just the fact that this "no one" person has his hands all over you like that, as well as the fact that you're turning into a strawberry at the face tells me different." Naruto winced at the look he was given. There was no avoiding Iruka Umino when he wanted an answer.

"Itachi."

He winced again at the look that said to elaborate.

"Sasuke's brother." He mumbled.

"Really? And what is he to you hmm?"

Naruto was twisting and untwisting his fingers nervously. "Uh…Dad…do we really have to talk about this right now?" Naruto was downright scared to death of having to talk about Itachi with his guardian. Especially after yesterday's fiasco.

Iruka noticed how uncomfortable it was making his son and decided to relent for the moment. "Alright Naruto, we won't discuss it right now. But don't think this is the end of this young man." He sent a fatherly glare in his direction to show his seriousness.

As they walked out of his apartment, Naruto was praying that Iruka would somehow magically forget.

-

-

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n:** That's so like a father right? Poor Naruto… Anyway, it's a little shorter than normal, but that's originally, this turned into a massive chapter. I ended up splitting it in two. And this seemed like a good place to split it. So, Hinata's house is the next destination. Stay tuned to see what wackiness ensues with Sasuke, Hinata, Itachi, Naruto, Iruka and Gaara all in the same room.


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n: **Look, it's chapter 8! Thanks to everyone for their awesome reviews! I know you all have been waiting for this part so without further ado...

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 8**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

Naruto was laughing at Iruka's latest stories from back home. He pulled into Sasuke's driveway and noticed a very familiar car. His laughter stopped cold and his face went pale. _'Oh god no…not now…'_

"Naruto? What's wrong?" Iruka asked, noticing his son's jovial mood disappearing.

"N-Nothing." Gaara and Iruka glanced at each other wondering what could be the cause of Naruto's sudden mood swing.

Naruto clutched the steering wheel tightly. He badly wanted to back out, turn around, and break speed laws to go back the way he came, but Iruka would wonder what the hell was wrong with him. He really didn't have much choice now. So he parked and got out and dreaded the walk to the door.

"You are going to ring that right?" Gaara's voice interrupted his panicked thoughts.

Naruto had been standing at the door for at least 20 seconds without lifting a finger. Iruka, thinking it was because of Sasuke, sighed and stretched past the two young men and rang the doorbell. Naruto groaned inwardly, his head repeating the same question over and over. _'What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?!'_

Sasuke was suddenly in his face. "About time you got here dobe."

Naruto blinked as he was brought back from his thoughts and then glared at the man in front of him. "Teme."

Sasuke had seen it in his friend's eyes. The panic. He was sure the blond had taken on that look from the moment he saw his brother's car. He wanted to smirk sooooo badly. Instead he just stepped aside allowing the group to come in. They followed him toward the living room. Upon passing the kitchen they saw Hinata wiping her hands.

"Hello Naruto." Hinata walked over with a smile and gave him a hug. "And welcome to the two of you." She directed toward her guests.

"Hi Hinata." He gave her a small smile, but really, he couldn't even concentrate on her. He took a deep breath and continued to the living room with Hinata following him. He didn't know that behind him she was grinning like a Cheshire cat. The moment he saw that long black hair, he swore he wanted to turn and run the other way. But that was impossible. It was at that moment Itachi looked up and met his eyes and Naruto stopped in his tracks.

"Hello Naruto."

Naruto wanted to melt. Why did that voice have to be so…so…hot? He could already feel himself blushing and tried to think of anything to will away the redness before anyone else saw it.

Of course, everyone saw it, including Iruka and Gaara. Iruka looked from Naruto to Itachi and back to Naruto. It didn't take much to put two and two together in his mind. Gaara smirked slightly. His brother seemed to have a crush. Or maybe more.

"You planning to introduce everyone dobe?"

Naruto jumped slightly and shook himself out of his stupor. "Uh…yeah…right. Well, this is my dad, Iruka. And this quiet guy back here," He unconsciously grabbed Gaara's hand, "is Gaara. This is Sasuke, his wife Hinata, and his brother Itachi."

Everyone nodded and waved their hellos. Itachi immediately felt jealousy flood through him when he saw the joined hands. Who was this red head? And why the hell was he holding Naruto's hand?

Sasuke glanced at his older brother from the corner of his eye and smirked. Jealousy was rearing its ugly head again. He already knew who Gaara was, even though they'd never met. Naruto had talked about him enough. But Itachi had no idea, and he knew it would kill him trying to figure it out the whole afternoon. Lunch and Saturday afternoon work had just turned much more interesting.

Iruka, meanwhile, was sending his own glare at Itachi. He didn't like the way he had looked at his son at all. He knew this man was the cause of Naruto's discomfort and topic avoidance over the last hour or so. He would get down to the bottom of things, that was a promise.

Gaara, let go of Naruto's hand, found himself a seat, and quietly observed each person in the room. It didn't take much to know what was on Naruto's mind. He was an open book. That Itachi person definitely was getting to him. His eyes glanced toward the older brother. Now he was different story. He was the picture of cool and calm, but just the way his eyes had quickly roamed over Naruto told him that there was something going on between the two. And – he glanced toward the husband and wife duo – he had a feeling those two were trying to do some matchmaking, if the smirks that briefly lit their faces was any indication. Well, who was he to stop progress? He held back an evil grin. Maybe he'd even help.

"Well, lunch will be finished in a minute. So you all had perfect timing." Hinata went to the kitchen to finish. Naruto, wanting to avoid being anywhere near Itachi, found a seat next to Gaara, while Iruka sat across from Itachi in a chair. Sasuke went back to looking through papers with Itachi.

Itachi couldn't even concentrate anymore. Not with Naruto here with some unknown friend, and definitely not with the man's guardian giving him the evil eye. He didn't even have to look up. He could feel it. He knew the man sat across from him purposely. He heard a laugh and turned to see Naruto and Gaara in seemingly their own world. His eyes narrowed. Gaara was ruffling the blond hair and Naruto was leaning on him smiling. Itachi was itching to grab the blond out of the arms of the interfering red head and wrap his arms around him, claiming him as his.

Gaara felt eyes on him and looked up into a pair of dark eyes. A wicked grin emerged and he slowly and deliberately wrapped an arm around Naruto pulling him even closer and whispered something in his ear, his eyes on Itachi the entire time. If looks could kill, Gaara would be dead where he sat. Itachi unconsciously clenched his hands into fists. He felt like his eyes were burning red with anger. How dare he touch what was his like that!

Iruka wondered why the atmosphere had suddenly chilled about 30 degrees. He looked from Itachi to Gaara and saw what was happening. The older Uchiha may not have been on Iruka's favorites list, but Gaara could be a sadist when he wanted to and the last thing he needed was war breaking out in Sasuke Uchiha's living room. He gave Gaara a look that clearly said 'quit taunting him.' He saw Gaara roll his eyes but halt the glaring war.

Sasuke was having the best time just watching the proceedings. Hinata walked past him and gave him an elbow. He looked up and noticed her whispered words. "Quit laughing before you get caught." She said. He nodded and tried to school his features into blankness. It was so hard though. Itachi was more interesting to observe when he was jealous. And bringing Iruka, a very protective father, into the mix was making this even more entertaining than usual.

The tentative peace between Itachi and Gaara lasted through lunch. Hinata gathered up plates and chopsticks and put them in the sink. She leaned on the countertop and smiled toward Iruka. "So Iruka, you have any good stories about Naruto?"

"Actually…"

"NO…he doesn't." Naruto interrupted. Iruka ignored him.

"I have stories AND pictures!"

"NO!!!" Naruto and Gaara both yelled and glared at their guardian.

Sasuke grinned, Itachi smirked and Hinata continued to smile. "Please do tell." Sasuke replied for all three of them.

Gaara glared and Naruto groaned covering his face with a hand.

Iruka dug in his bag and triumphantly pulled out a small album.

"I can't believe you still carry that thing everywhere." Naruto grumbled.

Iruka grinned. "Of course I do. I'm still a proud father, you know." He placed the album on the table and everyone but the two on display gathered around. He turned to the first page. A baby with a bit of blond fuzz had a mouth that was wide open screaming.

"Aww…is that Naruto?" Hinata smiled.

"Yes, that is Naruto when he was a baby."

"Should've known then that the dobe was going to be loud." Sasuke added. A pillow flew across the room at his face, but he dodged it laughing. "You missed."

Naruto growled and glared at his so-called best friend.

"Leave him alone Sasuke." Hinata giggled and poked her husband. "He was cute."

Itachi turned and smirked at the much older version of said baby. Naruto blushed again and grimaced. _'Kill me now…please…'_

Next page. "This was his birthday party when he turned five." In the picture stood a grinning Naruto with white frosting all over his face and a piece of cake in his hand.

Sasuke snorted. "Were you eating cake or wearing it dobe?"

"Shut up teme!"

"Naruto…" Iruka glared at him.

"Yeah, yeah, language…I know, sorry." Naruto grumbled and crossed his arms as he pouted. Stupid old pictures…

Itachi saw the pout and felt the urge to bite that lip. Good thing Iruka didn't see the flash of lust that went through his dark eyes.

At least that's what he thought.

Iruka glared in his direction for a moment before going back to the pictures.

"Oh, and this is him and Gaara together."

"Aww…"

"And here's the kids all together."

Gaara moved and kneeled at the edge of the table to look.

"Who are those two?" Hinata asked.

"That's Kankuro and Temari…my brother and sister."

"Yes, those four were inseperable…especially those two." He pointed to Gaara and Naruto. Itachi felt the need to glare again at said boy who seemed to have all of Naruto's attentions.

"How did you two meet?" Hinata was curious. Obviously they were close, although not in the way it seemed to Itachi since he wouldn't stop glaring at the poor red head.

"Actually I took the three in for a while. It took time for the orphanage to find someone who was willing to adopt all three of them. So I guess you could say I was their foster parent for about a year and a half. I just didn't have the ways and means to take care of all four of them. I would have loved to though. But anyway, in that time we became one big happy family. And even after they were adopted and moved away, we always kept in touch and visited each other. Naruto had always wanted a brother or sister. He basically ended up with three." Iruka smiled at Naruto as he said this. Naruto couldn't help smiling back from his perch on the couch. He sighed and resigned himself to being embarrassed and finally moved to the floor with everyone else.

Iruka kept going through the book, showing odd pictures of Naruto at various stages in life up to his graduation. Itachi had finally stopped giving Gaara glares, now that he was no longer a threat. Then came stories about some of Naruto's most infamous pranks.

"Dad…I don't do stuff like that anymore."

"Oh please dobe. You still do that stuff in the office."

"Yeah but nothing THAT bad."

"Riiight…How about the time you changed the printer settings so everything came out in English, French, Spanish or Russian instead of Japanese."

"Uh…"

"Or the time you brewed tea in the coffee pot and told everyone it was coffee."

"That wasn't even much of a prank…"

"Oh, and then there was the day you…mmph."

By that time Naruto had enough of the fun at his expense and jumped over the table and slapped his hand over Sasuke's mouth so he couldn't incriminate him anymore. Everyone started laughing as Naruto and Sasuke started mock wrestling in front of them.

"I see you haven't changed at all Naruto." Iruka said with a smile.

"Heh..." Naruto rubbed the back of his head after he got up.

"So, dessert everyone?" Hinata interrupted.

"You know what I want." Sasuke replied.

The rest nodded.

"Where's my pocky?" Itachi said.

Naruto's mouth dropped open when he found out exactly who the pocky was for.

* * *

It had just gotten dark and everyone was still inside talking and laughing. Everyone except Itachi, that is. He wanted to get some air so he went out and sat on one of the chairs in the backyard and looked up at the sky. He heard the sliding door open and close but he didn't turn to acknowledge whatever presence was behind him. He knew it wasn't Naruto for said blond had been avoiding him all afternoon and evening. He had a feeling whom it would be though.

"Nice night hm?"

Itachi nodded. He sighed. He should've known Iruka would look for him at some point. Were all fathers like that?

Iruka sat next to the stoic man. At first glance, he would've assumed that Itachi was just as his moniker described him. Yes, he'd heard things about Itachi Uchiha, the Ice King. It was impossible not to. He was in all the magazines. Whether it was a business one touting his wealth and position, or the other ones all the girls went ga-ga over anointing him as Japan's and the world's most eligible bachelor.

But after watching him all afternoon he was somewhat confused. He might look like stone on the outside, but if one looked in his eyes long enough, you could see the emotions within those depths. He saw the love for his younger brother, even though he tried not to show it. He saw jealousy every time his eyes went anywhere near his red headed son's direction. He saw a shade of apprehension when those dark eyes glanced at him. And when he looked at Naruto? The eyes hadn't been so easy to read. Itachi kept the guards up so well. But a few times he caught him when the guards were down. So much emotion filled those eyes. Iruka was surprised at what he read in the unguarded gaze.

His son had to be special. Somehow he'd caught the eye of both Uchihas.

One thing he knew about Sasuke, even if he didn't show it, he was protective of Naruto. They might fight, but it was in both their stubborn natures. It was their way of getting along. Sasuke knew all of Naruto's quirks, but he liked him anyway. Naruto knew the real Sasuke, along with his faults, but he never cared.

And what he saw in this man next to him was much the same, but more intense. If he didn't know any better…

It didn't matter. Iruka wouldn't allow his son to get hurt. He had to know Naruto would be ok.

"What are your intentions toward my son?"

Itachi didn't turn to look at his lawn companion. _'Well, he didn't waste any time, did he?'_

"We're friends." He knew Iruka wouldn't believe that, but it was a starting point.

"Ah…" Iruka didn't believe that for a moment. "There's a picture sitting in my son's living room that says otherwise."

Itachi glared up at the sky almost like it had to be God's fault. Why was it always that damn picture? He was going to kill Kisame.

Iruka, glancing sideways at the younger male, saw the change of expression and continued. "I'll say the same thing I basically told him. No man puts his hands on someone like that without it meaning something." He turned and looked at Itachi with a piercing stare.

Itachi swallowed. He won't lie to himself. It was slightly embarrassing as an Uchiha, but the man intimidated him. He couldn't figure it out either. He looked like such a nice guy. But then he'd get this look on his face...It's almost like the man changed from Jekyll to Hyde. "And no one would glare at someone as intently as you were at Gaara unless you had a reason for it."

'_Damn…I'm slipping.'_ Itachi thought he had been covering himself well. How could this man know? He glanced at the man next to him and could see he was content with waiting for an answer. Great... But really, what could he say? He wasn't sure what to say. He knew "I want your son" sure wouldn't go over well.

"I…I don't know." Ok, from the glare he just received, that wasn't exactly the right thing to say either.

Iruka glared. "What do you mean you don't know? How do you not know?"

Itachi sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. How the hell could he explain this one?

"Naruto…he's intelligent, handsome, he's got a head for business like no one I've ever seen who didn't have extra schooling." The glare was still in full force. "You raised him well." Ok, that sounded lame, even to his own ears. Iruka's left eyes was beginning to twitch. He better hurry up. "He has this uncanny ability to get along with anyone, even someone like my brother or myself. He somehow even managed to make my father like him, which is an almost impossible feat. My mother has practically made him one of the family. He's…special…" Itachi really couldn't say it any better than that…at least not without saying more than he wanted to. And he really hoped that the man beside him wouldn't go any deeper than that because he didn't want to try to explain any further.

Iruka, though, was one who looked underneath the underneath. Sure he heard what Itachi said, but he also heard what Itachi _didn't_ say. And that was the most telling. He couldn't help but shake his head. _'Naruto, how do you always pull off things like this?'_

"You almost sound like you're in love with him."

Itachi spun his head to the side so fast his neck cracked. Love? No…that wasn't it at all. Was it?

"But…I hardly know him."

"How much do you really need to know?" He smiled slightly. There was definitely more to this Uchiha. He wanted to chuckle though, because the man looked slightly lost and confused. But then, knowing him, he'd probably never been in love before. If Iruka wasn't so protective of his son, he'd probably be a bit more sympathetic. But… "I won't allow anyone to hurt him. He's been through enough. If you don't know what you want, I suggest you back off. If you hurt him I'll kill you."

Itachi stared in the other's eyes. The man was dead serious and he had no doubt this man could pull off the threat if he really wanted to. The proud Uchiha in him wanted to say something, but the last thing he wanted to do was antagonize a very protective parent, so he settled for nodding.

"Good." Iruka smiled like he'd never just threatened someone and got up, leaving the other male to think while he went back inside to join the laughing friends.

Itachi blew out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding.

Man, he was scary.

-

-

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n:** Alright, there ya go. Gaara's got a bit of an evil streak! And Iruka can be scary when he wants eh? I bet Naruto's still hoping Iruka will forget about that talk... -grins evilly- Anyhow, I hope I did Iruka alright. I tried to make him in character, you know - the one who can have the wise thing to say, yet can scare someone to death if he needs to. (kinda reminds me of my own mother -shivers-)


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n: **I'm glad everyone liked mother-hen Iruka scary the life out of Itachi. Thank you all for the reviews! All of you are amazing for keeping up with this craziness. Just for that, you get more Iruka! And Gaara! And guess which female makes a 2nd appearance. -grins- This time there will be serious parts, but of course, some humor will be mixed in. It just wouldn't be right with out the humor. For some reason I keep thinking it's WAY too much dialogue in this chapter. Ah well, hope you don't mind it.

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 9**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

Naruto parked his car in its usual spot. It had been a long day. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and forget the last two days ever existed. "Is Genma coming to pick you up?"

"Yes, he should be here soon." Iruka smiled then glanced back at Gaara in the back seat. "Gaara, if you don't mind, I need to talk to Naruto for a moment."

Naruto gulped. He was really hoping Iruka would have forgotten about everything. He begged Gaara with his eyes to stay. But to no avail. The red head nodded and flashed Naruto an evil grin as he got out the car. Naruto sighed, almost whined, and slumped in his seat.

"Naruto, give him your keys."

The blonde was so involved in sulking that he hadn't heard him. "Huh?"

"Keys."

Oh…yeah. He took the keys from the ignition and passed them to Gaara. Gaara took them with a nod and a smirk.

"See you upstairs." Gaara walked away. Naruto groaned. Everyone was against him.

"So, Naruto…about Itachi…"

"Do we really have to talk about him?"

"Why wouldn't you want to talk about him?"

"Because there's nothing to talk about."

"Really?"

"Really."

Pause.

"Then there should've been no reason to avoid him all night, if that's the case."

Another pause.

Crap…he had him there. "Dad, I know you. You'll ask me a bunch of questions I don't have answers to."

"Which is probably why you need to talk about it."

"I don't."

"Really?"

"Really."

Back to impasse.

Iruka smiled and tried to put the tense blond at ease. "He's quite an interesting man once you get past his icy exterior." Naruto glanced at his guardian. "I had a nice conversation with him."

Naruto's eyes went wide with apprehension. "You didn't threaten him did you?"

"And why would I threaten him? As far as I know, I have no reason to. Isn't that Right?"

'_Damn.'_ Naruto looked out of his window and resisted the urge to pout. He couldn't believe he fell right into Iruka's trap again. He always seems to be able to trip him up.

"So, are you going to tell me what's bothering you or am I going to be forced to continue to bait you into uncomfortable topics?"

Naruto sighed and crossed his arms, not looking at Iruka. "I…I like him."

"You do?" Naruto nodded, still not looking Iruka's way.

"You act like it's a bad thing."

Naruto shrugged.

Iruka rolled his eyes in the darkness. It was like pulling teeth to get the suddenly tight-lipped blonde to talk. Maybe he would try making him comfortable first. "So, how did you meet?"

"Sasuke and I had to present to him and the investors. We had lunch in his office and talked. Well he and I talked. Sasuke was being a broody bastard, as usual." He figured he better leave out the part about Itachi teasing Sasuke.

"And how did a picture of you two dancing end up in the paper?"

Ugh…did he have to bring that up? "Sasuke and Hinata wanted to go to a club and invited me with them. I refused to be a third wheel so he suggested I invite Itachi since he can never get him to go anywhere fun. We all met there, along with his friends and Neji, Hinata's cousin. We all danced in the VIP room. I guess someone took pictures and they ended up in the paper. End of story."

"And you kept it because…?"

"Souvenir."

"Uh huh." Iruka wasn't buying it. Naruto knew it.

"He's a nice guy, dad."

"I know."

"He's not like everyone thinks."

"I know."

Naruto ran his hand through his hair. He couldn't think of anything else to say. "I like him."

Iruka chuckled. "You told me that already. Maybe you could explain why you like him."

Naruto sighed. "I don't know why. He's not the ice block everyone says he is. You just have to get to know him. He's like Sasuke…he doesn't show much of himself. But once you get past all that, he's a nice guy."

"Yes...a typical Uchiha. But Sasuke doesn't make you blush every time you're near him." Iruka replied with a smirk.

Naruto blushed. Thank goodness it was dark. "Well…I mean…he's handsome…I guess."

"You guess?"

Naruto couldn't take it anymore and jumped out the car slamming the door in frustration. "What do you want from me?"

Iruka got out as well. "Naruto, all I want is for you to tell me what's bothering you. Obviously it's eating at you."

Naruto groaned and crossed his arms, leaning back against the car. Iruka walked to stand in front of Naruto and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Naruto?"

Blue eyes looked toward his. Finally Naruto just seemed to deflate and slumped against the car. "I like him…a lot. I just…he's…" He gripped his hair in his hands. "I can't get him out of my head…and my dreams…and then that kiss…" He slapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes wide. He didn't mean to say so much.

Iruka's eyes narrowed at the new information. Naruto shrunk back. "What kiss?"

Oh boy…how to get out of this one… "No, no, no." Naruto's hands were waving in front of him frantically. "You see, it was an accident…wasn't supposed to happen."

"Kisses are not accidental." Iruka raised an eyebrow at his son.

Well, that explanation didn't help. "I-I tripped last night when I was going to get a drink and fell on top of him. Our lips kind of…uh…collided?"

Iruka wanted to laugh. Only Naruto could end up in a situation like that. He already knew what Naruto was refusing to admit to himself. Now was just a good time to torture him about it…and make him admit it, of course. "And how did you like it?"

"What?!" Naruto squeaked in embarrassment, the blush already creeping back up his face.

"You heard me. How did you like it?"

Naruto looked away and mumbled something unintelligible.

"What was that son? I couldn't hear you."

"I said it was…nice."

"Nice?" Did Iruka become an Uchiha in the last hour? He'd seen that eyebrow rise twice already.

If anything, Naruto's blush got deeper. "More than nice," he mumbled.

Iruka chuckled at his son's antics. "Naruto, why don't you just admit that you're in love?"

"I'm not in love with him." It didn't sound all that convincing, even to his own ears.

"You sound so convincing." Iruka remarked. Naruto was about to go on when he was stopped by a glare. Instead he looked away with a sigh. Iruka's eyes softened at the vulnerable look his son sported. "Naruto, I just want you to be happy. You deserve it." The blonde looked up with worry in his eyes.

"It doesn't bother you? I mean…that he's a guy…"

"Is that what's really bothering you? Naruto, I don't care about your orientation. You're my son, and I'll always love you." Iruka smiled. "All I want is for you to be happy. If Itachi is the one that would make you happy, fine. As long as he doesn't hurt you." His eyes narrowed a bit in warning.

Naruto finally smiled again. Iruka was happy to see the smile on his son's face. The smile was short-lived though.

"I doubt it'll matter anyway. It's not like he'd think of me that way."

"And how would you know that?"

"He's an Uchiha. He could have any girl - or guy - he wants. Why would he choose someone like me?"

Iruka grabbed the sulking blond by the shoulders. He felt like shaking some sense into him. "Naruto Uzumaki, don't you dare! Don't even think of yourself like that. You are a wonderful person. You're intelligent, good looking, have a good job and you have a gift for making people love you, the same way your father did. There is nothing wrong with you. Besides, even though you use your mother's name, deep down, you're still a Namikaze. You're quite the business royalty, you know - not that it's really all that important. If he can't appreciate you for who you are, then he's not the one for you. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you would them. But you won't know how he feels unless you take the time to find out. Right?"

Naruto hesitated, then gave him a nod. He ruffled the spiky blond head right as a sports car pulled up next to them, music blaring.

"So who's the hot guy you've got there Iruka?" Iruka rolled his eyes at his best friend.

"You're an idiot Genma."

Naruto grinned and leaned into the opened window. "Hey Genma! It's been a while."

"Naruto. You're looking good. Life must be treating you alright."

"Yeah something like that." He moved out the way so Iruka could get in.

Iruka opened the door then turned back to Naruto, giving him a hug. "Remember what I said, alright?" Naruto nodded and smiled, watching as Iruka got into the car.

He couldn't resist a bit of teasing of his own though. "Hey dad? Is there something I should know about you two?"

Iruka blushed and glared at his son. "Goodbye Naruto." Naruto grinned and waved as the car sped away.

* * *

Sasuke was putting the last of his papers in the briefcase when thin arms wrapped around his waist. He smirked at his lavender eyed princess.

"So, lunch seemed to go well." He could tell she was grinning as she said it.

"Yes, it was definitely interesting."

"You just love messing with your brother don't you?" Hinata asked.

He turned around and wrapped his arms around her. "Yes, I do. Makes up for all the years of torture he put me through. Besides, you're one to talk."

"I have no idea what you mean Sasuke." She said with a blank face. But her eyes had that sparkle in them.

"You're so much worse than I am. You and your plots and those little things you do like _trip people_." She grinned and he planted a kiss on her lips.

"Well, I wasn't the one who started this little plan." She said with hands on her hips.

"No, but any way it goes, we both have to agree the results have been impressive." He responded.

"Oh definitely. Itachi's head over heels, I can tell." Sasuke started backing her up.

"Hn…and how can you tell my dear Hinata?" He pushed her backwards making her fall on the couch slowly crawling up after her.

Hinata pulled his head down to her lips and whispered in his ear. "He has that same look that you had on your face after your first date with me." She grinned and nibbled on the patch of skin right below his ear, knowing how much he loved it.

A moan came from Sasuke and he looked down at his wife, his eyes glazed with lust. "You know you're playing with fire my dear."

"Mmhmm." A mischievous smile was on her face as she slid her hand under his shirt. "So what's our next plan?"

Sasuke kissed those perfect lips again and then kissed down her jaw to her neck. "We'll worry about plans later. I've got other plans on my mind."

And he proceeded to make good on those plans over and over again.

* * *

Gaara was sitting on one side of the bed when Naruto finally came in. "Got everything settled?"

"Eh, as much as it can get settled I guess." Naruto grabbed some sweats and went into the bathroom. He came back out in sweats and climbed in bed, then reached down on the side and grabbed something, tossing it to the red head.

"What's this for?"

"For you Mr. Insomniac. I know you don't sleep much so at least you can be entertained when you wake up. Oh, and you know where the drinks and snacks are if you get hungry in the middle of the night."

Gaara nodded and both of them got into their comfortable positions. Naruto on his side, Gaara on his back. Naruto turned off the light.

And still couldn't sleep.

He tried meditating hoping it would eventually lull him to sleep. No go.

He thought about that old counting sheep thing, except the sheep kept turning into Itachi and well…yeah...scratch that.

He turned and groaned into the pillow.

"Uzumaki."

"Hmm?"

Gaara sat up and stared down at his little brother. "I, being an insomniac, need little sleep. You, however, do. So whatever's bugging you, spit it out so you can sleep and I can get back to keeping myself entertained."

Naruto sighed and sat up next to him. He didn't bother turning on the lights, it was probably better not to.

"Is it that Uchiha?"

"Uh huh."

"You love him." Gaara crossed his arms across his chest with a sense of finality.

"I…hey, what makes you say that?"

Gaara rolled his green eyes even though no one could tell in the dark. "You're an idiot."

"Hey!"

"You're an open book you know."

"Am not."

"Yes you are. And shut up." Naruto had just been about to open his mouth. He closed it.

"Do you love him?"

"I-I don't know." Naruto sighed. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

"I never took you for a coward Naruto."

"What are you talking about?"

"You already know the truth. You're just afraid to admit it to yourself. The fact that you've been tossing and turning proves it."

"Alright fine. I'm in love with the guy. Happy?"

"Are you?"

"You're not helping." Naruto said with a groan. He started hitting the back of his head against the wall a couple of times in frustration. "Why is this so hard?"

"You talking about the wall? Your head? Or your problem?"

"Shut up Gaara." The red head chuckled.

"Obviously I'm not the one to advise you. Not like I've been in your position. But you should stop worrying and just let things happen. It'll be better for your sanity."

"Yeah I guess you're right. You were such a help." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere you know." Gaara smirked and turned on the tv and started flipping through channels until he found something he knew both of them would like. "Well, you might as well watch tv with me until you fall asleep."

"Yeah."

The two watched boring late night tv. Naruto's eyelids slowly drooped lower and lower until finally he was breathing deeply, his head falling on Gaara's shoulder.

Gaara smiled slightly at the innocent sight. No one else would dare to sleep on him.

"Goodnight Naruto."

* * *

A horrible buzzing filled the air. A pale hand reached out from under a blanket and slammed down on the culprit with such force it cracked. Well, at least the noise was gone.

A groan was heard from beneath the covers and a dark head slowly made an appearance. Dark eyes glared at the now broken clock with hatred. Sleep didn't come too easily to Itachi last night either. The man's words in the backyard kept going through his head.

Love…

Was he really in love with the blonde? He knew he wanted him, but that was physical. He couldn't help the way his body reacted. But love? He threw the covers off and stood up stretching his tall lithe body. He looked over at his phone.

He couldn't call his friends. No way. They'd be no help at all.

Sasuke? He'd know, but there's no way he was calling him. He was starting to suspect his little brother was part of the cause of this situation. No evidence…just a feeling.

Father? Not even. After the man's reaction toward that whole boyfriend thing, talking to him wasn't an option. Besides, he never went to him with anything but business advice. He probably wouldn't even know how to handle an emotional question. Hell, he didn't know how to deal with one either. That only left one person.

He dialed a familiar number and waited as it rang.

"Hello?"

"Mother."

"Itachi dear, how are you this morning?" Mikoto's happy voice sang through the receiver.

"Fine. Is father home?"

"No, he's not. He went golfing this morning with some clients." Ah yes, golf, that sport his father picked up in his travels. Good, it will be hours before he comes back.

"I'm coming over."

"Oh, you are? I'll have some breakfast ready for you then."

"No, really mother, don't bother."

"Nonsense sweetheart. Breakfast will be ready when you get here. See you soon."

"Alright."

His father may be the person who gave him advice on business. But his mother gave him advice on everything else. God knows he needed some now. Itachi grabbed a towel and went to take a shower.

* * *

Itachi slowly ate the western breakfast that was put in front of him. It was weird, his mother kept watching him and it was making him strangely uncomfortable.

"So dear, what did you need advice on hmm?"

Itachi's eyes widened and he accidentally swallowed the food in his mouth without chewing. Which of course, caused him to choke in a very un-Uchiha-like manner.

Mikoto gave her son a shrug. "Honey, you never come to see me just for a random chat." Itachi suddenly felt a stab of guilt.

"I apologize…"

She smiled and stopped him before he could continue. "Don't. You're an Uchiha man. It's in your nature. I'm just happy you feel comfortable enough to ask me for advice every once in a while."

Itachi nodded and finished the last of his breakfast.

"So is it about your brother?"

Itachi chuckled. "Isn't it always? Actually, no, not this time."

"Hmm…well then, might it be about a handsome, young, blond haired, blue eyed male?"

'_How could she figure that out so easily?'_

"I can always tell. You're my child Itachi. I can still read you when I choose to put forth the effort."

"Hn."

"Don't 'hn' me. Tell me what's bothering you."

Itachi hesitated.

"What? The great Itachi Uchiha is hesitating? The world must be ending!" Itachi glared at his mother.

Mikoto covered her mouth with her hand to smother a laugh. "Ok, I'm sorry dear. No more teasing. What do you need to know?"

"How do you know if you're in love?"

Inner Mikoto was in full squealing fangirl mode. Her baby was in love! But her face didn't show a thing. The Uchihas would be proud. "That's not an easy question you know. It's different for each person. With your father, I knew it was love when I couldn't stop thinking of him day or night and when his talk about business didn't bore me. I hated hearing about the technical parts of running a business when my father would tell it. Most of the time, I completely ignored him. But when Fugaku did the same thing, I listened intently to everything." She smiled at the thought. Her smile turned into a grin directed toward her oldest son. "Why do you ask?

Itachi looked away from his mother's eyes. "No reason."

"Liar."

He turned back to her with a glare.

"Che…don't glare at me young man. I've seen it for years. You know it won't work on me. You never bring up anything without a reason. So why don't you answer me again. The truth this time."

"I just need to know. Someone thinks I'm in love."

"With Naruto?"

"…Yes."

Mikoto suddenly got a sadistic grin on her face. "I've got an idea! How about I ask you some simple questions. By the time I'm done you'll have all the answers you need."

That grin scared Itachi. Why did he suddenly have the feeling her questions would be anything but simple? "Hn."

"But…"

Uh huh...simple his ass.

"...you have to answer honestly. I mean it, Itachi. Deal?" The poor man had no idea what he was in for.

Itachi resigned himself to dealing with his mother's questions. Wasn't much of a way out of it since he _was_ the one to ask for advice in the first place. "Deal."

Mikoto smiled and rubbed her hands together. "Wonderful! I'll start with something easy: Do you think Naruto is attractive?"

Itachi sighed. "Yes."

"Are you attracted to him?"

Itachi wanted to say no. "I do-" He was stopped by a glare from his mother. "Yes."

"Off the top of your head…most attractive feature."

"His eyes. They're beautiful. I've never seen eyes so blue and every emotion possible goes through them."

Mikoto grinned to herself. This was going exactly the way she wanted.

"Did you like it when he kissed you? Well, once you got over the shock."

"Mother! Do I really…"

"Just answer the question." She glared once again.

Itachi rolled his eyes and sighed. Why did she have to ask questions like that? "Maybe."

"Maybe?" An eyebrow raised.

"Yes, maybe. Not like there was much to go on." _'I'd love to try again though.'_ He thought to himself.

Alright, Mikoto could live with that. "Would you like to kiss him again?"

'_Damn woman, what is she? A mind reader?'_ He paused.

"Itachi, remember, I said honestly."

Another sigh. "Yes."

Hmm, the preliminaries were done. It was time to go a step further. "Why are you so attracted to him?"

Itachi sat back and thought about it for a while. What was it about the blond? "Naruto...He's not like anyone else. He isn't intimidated by me. In fact, he thought after we first met that I was nice." He smiled slightly at that. Mikoto watched her son intently and noticed the emotions in his eyes. Itachi probably had no idea how much of it he was exposing. "He isn't like everyone who throws themselves at me for selfish reasons. He genuinely just likes me as I am." He looked back at his mother who smiled and nodded in encouragement to continue.

"I can talk to him. And he'd actually listen to what I have to say, not just because I'm Itachi Uchiha. He also has this way of looking completely innocent, even if he's not. And his smile, it lights up a room. He can make anyone cheer up just by his smile and his friendly nature. Hell, he had a room of investors in the palm of his hand within five minutes. It's just his way."

Mikoto had a knowing smile on her face. Getting either of her sons to talk was normally a chore. If you can get a few sentences out of Itachi during a conversation, you're doing excellently. But this was well above and beyond his normal routine. A testament to the depth of feelings he had for the blond.

If he couldn't realize the truth after this, there was no helping him. She truly hoped Itachi wasn't _that_ emotionally dense.

She got up and stood right in front of the son she had always wanted to see happy and looked into his unguarded eyes. She had been leading up to this one question the entire time. "I have one final question. I won't ask you to answer it aloud, for it's something that you must answer on your own deep in your heart." She kissed him on the forehead and then looked back in those dark eyes. "Do you love Naruto?" She turned and left the room to give Itachi some time alone.

Itachi didn't need time. Not anymore. His heart had immediately answered for him...practically yelled it. There was no question. He loved him.

But did Naruto feel the same way?

After a few minutes of thinking in silence, he smirked with a confidence only an Uchiha could display.

Naruto Uzumaki would be his.

-

-

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n:** So the two men in question have finally figured it out - with a lot of help. Now they only need to figure out that the other one feels the same way. Wonder how that'll happen? Well, Itachi looks like he has his own plan. But are the two devilish Uchihas done with their own meddling? And Itachi's starting to get a bit suspicious of his little brother...hmm... Well ladies and gents, it's almost sad to think that this is slowly winding toward it's conclusion. It'll probably only be about 3 or 4 more chapters. Anyone want to speculate on how it'll end?


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n: **Thank you so much for your reviews. I really love seeing what you think and getting the chance to write back to you. Plus it gives me the incentive to continue to write for you all. So, for everyone who's been asking if there's a lemon in the future – I did make this M –grins- so yeah, there will be one. Oh crap! My first lemon. Guess I should start writing it now so I can obsess over it for a week while writing the other chapters. Anyways, yay Chapter 10! Hope you like :)

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 10**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

If any of the fangirls could catch a glimpse of Sasuke Uchiha right now, they would squeal so loud it would be heard around the world. Why is that?

Sasuke Uchiha had one of _those_ smirks on his face. That 'I know something you don't know' smirk. If Ino Yamanaka saw it, she'd probably faint at the sight. If his wife saw it, she'd probably push him onto his desk and have her way with him. That version of the Sasuke smirk was .sexy.

Fortunately, no one was around to witness the event, for he was in the privacy of his office.

So what had Sasuke smirking like that?

It was almost 5 p.m. The work day was just about over and he and Hinata had come up with a new plan. Which would be put into place right about now. He got up from his leather chair and took his time shutting down his computer. He grabbed his coat and draped it over one arm. Opening the door he saw his blonde secretary talking on the phone. Normally, he would have scolded her for making personal phone calls on company time, but at this moment, he could've cared less. So with a nod and wave – to the surprise of Ino – he walked on.

He knocked twice on the office door in front of him before turning the metal knob and walking inside, closing the door behind him. His best friend was typing furiously with his index fingers. It caused him to chuckle. The dobe never did learn to type correctly in all the time he's been working here.

"What's so funny teme?" Naruto asked, not looking up as he continued to type.

"You are." Sasuke responded as he walked closer to his friend's desk. "Still can't type I see."

"Quiet teme. It might not be the 'proper' way, but it works for me."

"Sure dobe. Listen, I'm leaving on time for once. I'm taking Hinata to a concert tonight."

"Oh?" Naruto looked up from his work and grinned. "About time you did something nice for your wife."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Whatever dobe. I treat my wife just fine. And I don't need someone who doesn't have one to advise me."

"Sure sure, make fun of the single guy with no life." Naruto rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

"You know I'm joking with you."

"Of course. You know teme, if you're really so concerned about me, you can always find me a wife."

"Hn." _'Working on it…just not the way you're thinking.'_

"Anyways, you're leaving now?"

"Yes. Just make sure everything's secure when you leave."

"No problem boss." Naruto saluted the Uchiha. "Now get going. I've got stuff to get done."

"Have a good night dobe." Upon closing the door, a wicked grin settled on his face. There was no concert tonight. He wasn't taking Hinata anywhere. This was all part of the plan. He really wished he could've had cameras installed all over the office. He'd pay to be a fly on the wall tonight. This was the first plan he and Hinata made in which he would be unable to see the outcome. Hmm, he would have to try to beat the information out of Naruto tomorrow.

The elevator doors slowly closed. If those still working in the office had noticed, they would have shuddered at the grin promising trouble. It was the last thing seen before the doors closed completely.

* * *

The elevator announced a new presence on the floor. When the door opened, Itachi stepped out with a bulky envelope in his hand. The entire floor was dark. Any sane workers had gone home at least a couple of hours ago. It was fortunate for him. He didn't want to deal with the stares from everyone anyway. He walked toward his brother's office to give him the package he promised on Saturday. He was happy to get some of these proposals off his hands. His office was pretty swamped these days.

He passed by a door and noticed a light on under it. Someone was getting some late work done he supposed. He reached his brother's office at the end of the hall and tried to open the door. It was locked. He knocked. No answer. _'Don't tell me my foolish little brother forgot.'_

He leisurely walked back the way he came, figuring he would ask whoever was in the other office about Sasuke. He was about to knock on the door when he noticed the nameplate. A slow grin overtook his normally stoic face. If anyone had seen that look, they would have run screaming in terror. He knocked twice.

"Come on in Kabuto."

Itachi wondered who Kabuto was and opened the door. Naruto was the picture of concentration, head down, intent on whatever he was writing. He didn't even look up as he spoke.

"You can take the garbage, but don't take that box yet. It still has stuff in it."

Itachi smirked. "Uh, I don't really do garbage."

Naruto froze. That voice…

He hadn't seen him since Saturday evening. That was pre-understanding of the reason behind the pounding of his heart and the constant blushing that always began the moment the dark haired man was in his presence. Now, said man was here...in his office. Oh god, he wasn't ready. Not yet. Naruto swallowed nervously. Iruka said he wouldn't know unless he asked. How was he supposed to just ask something like that?

"Good evening Naruto."

Just those three words in that deep voice sent shivers down Naruto's spine. He took a deep breath to steel himself and looked up.

Leaning against the door in a black trenchcoat that made him look sinfully good was Itachi. He had that sexy smirk on his face.

Naruto blushed. He had just assumed Itachi, of all people, was a custodian there to pick up garbage. As if…

"Itachi...hi. Uh, yeah, sorry about that." He rubbed the back of his head trying to hide his embarrassment. "Uh, what are you doing here?"

"I was supposed to see Sasuke and give him these proposals that I promised to pass on to him. But he seems to be missing." He held up the envelope.

"Oh. Yeah, well, he left a few hours ago. He and Hinata had tickets to a theater or concert or something."

"Ah." _'Then why did Sasuke tell me to meet him here after work?' _ "He must have forgotten."

Naruto nodded. He was able to calm his racing heart just slightly. Well, if it had to do with business, he could handle that. It was something familiar to fall back on. "If you want, I can look at them to see which ones he would most likely be interested in taking on." Itachi gave him a nod and took off his coat, folding it and placing it over the chair. Then he passed the envelope over, making sure their hands touched, and sat across from the blond. Naruto took the package, unable to stop the gasp from escaping when their hands brushed. Itachi glanced at the blond through his long dark lashes making Naruto blush again and look down. Itachi wanted to smile at how cute he was. Soon he would be all his.

Naruto started looking through the various proposals, separating them into piles after perusing each one. Meanwhile, Itachi was thinking.

First, he wondered about Sasuke. His brother would never forget an appointment. Ever. Father had drilled that thought into their heads more than enough times as they grew up. In fact, it seemed mighty convenient that the one time he comes to see Sasuke at his office, he finds his brother long gone and the office completely empty save for one very specific blonde. He slowly began connecting the dots.

- Sasuke inviting Naruto over without telling him he was there, and being kept in the dark about Naruto's relationship with Gaara.

- The family dinner and the infamous tripping of Naruto that led to a kiss that, even now, he couldn't get out of his head.

- The invitation to Amaterasu - coincidentally, initiated by Sasuke - leading to a photo mysteriously taken by someone that somehow mysteriously made it into the paper the very next morning.

Each dot connected. And when it created a completed circle in his mind, he almost laughed.

He had been completely and totally fooled and outmaneuvered by his own brother!

All this time he thought Sasuke was just getting back at him, when he was really just trying to hook him up – in the most embarrassing way possible, of course.

If Naruto had looked up at that moment, he would have seen a once in a lifetime phenomenon. Itachi smiled. Really, truly, full blown smiled. No one, beyond maybe his parents, knew something like that was actually possible. _'Hn. Well played Sasuke.'_ Now that he had made the connection, everything that had happened over the last week or so made so much more sense. He was sure now that Sasuke was the mastermind behind this whole scheme.

He was going to kill Sasuke.

He looked at the lowered blond head and the smile turned into a smirk.

He just might have to thank him first though.

His complete attention now turned to the man in front of him who had somehow turned his world completely topsy turvy. His little brother, wittingly or unwittingly, had given him a perfect opportunity to spend time with the blond. Oh, the possibilities. So many ideas ran through his head - a lot of them involving clothes off. If he wasn't in Naruto's presence, he might have smacked himself in the forehead. This really was not the time to be thinking of the things he could use that desk for. Or the couch. Or the floor... Oh good lord, he needed to stop. He shook his head before his thoughts became nosebleed-worthy. He couldn't go that far yet. He didn't want to scare the blond to death. At least, not before he knew exactly what Naruto thought of him.

"Hey, Itachi…" Itachi was almost thankful to be interrupted from his runaway thoughts.

Hmm?"

"These five here Sasuke probably wouldn't mind taking on. This one here," Naruto held up another, "is a maybe. These two though, I wouldn't mess with and I advise you to do the same." He saw the question in Itachi's eyes and went on. "This one is asking for way too much without them wanting to do any work on their own. And this other group has so many stipulations up front that it makes me nervous." He handed the two over for Itachi to look over.

Itachi took the two and skimmed them. He looked up when he was done and nodded. Naruto was correct. He certainly had a head for business deals. Well, he was a Namikaze after all.

Naruto returned his attention to the other ones in his possession. Itachi was back to thinking again. Well, his oh so gracious brother had gone through the trouble of making sure he and Naruto would be alone. He might as well take advantage of of it and really get to know the blond.

"Naruto, how about some dinner."

Naruto almost got whiplash from looking up so fast. "Huh?" Nah…he knew Itachi couldn't have meant it THAT way.

He was so naïve.

"Have dinner with me."

"Now?" His eyes widened.

Itachi shrugged. "No time like the present. Aren't you hungry?"

Of course Naruto was hungry. His last meal was at 12:30 in the afternoon. He was surprised his stomach wasn't loudly rebelling against working so late. He nodded to Itachi's question.

"Well then, save that for tomorrow. We're going out."

Naruto laughed. "Ok ok. You don't have to twist my arm to get me to eat. I'll get my coat."

* * *

"One moment Mr. Uchiha. I'll make sure your table is ready."

Naruto wasn't even paying attention. He was looking around in awe. He could guarantee he'd never been in a restaurant this expensive in his life. The décor was beautiful. And considering the high floor they were on, he knew the view would be awesome. He didn't even want to know how much the food went for in a place like this.

He was nervous…or maybe more anxious than nervous. Mostly because he wasn't sure what this was. Was it business? Was it a date? Itachi hadn't specifically said it was business. Course, he hadn't actually said it was a date either.

"Please follow me."

Itachi nudged him to alertness and he followed him and the hostess to their table. Their table was next to a window and afforded a gorgeous view of the night skyline.

"Wow."

"Impressed?" Naruto's eyes widened. He hadn't meant for that to be said aloud.

"It's beautiful."

"Yes, it is." Naruto hadn't noticed, but Itachi wasn't talking about the city view.

Naruto figured everyone must jump at the Uchiha name, because they received immediate service. Water was brought, orders taken, and the two were left alone to their own devices within a matter of a couple of minutes.

Itachi took a drink and a deep breath. He was nervous. An Uchiha nervous? The gods must be laughing. Well, if he could take on an entire business empire, he could handle an attempt at a date. Even if his companion didn't actually know it was one. He cleared his throat, then turned to the blonde in front of him. "So…"

Naruto looked up into his eyes. When their eyes met, Itachi almost forgot how to breathe. He tried to think of how to start a decent conversation. What had happened to his conversational skills? Oh that's right, he hardly ever had to use them.

"I hadn't really thought about it before, but I don't know all that much about you."

"Eh…not really much to know. I'm not all that interesting." Naruto shrugged.

"Hn…I'd doubt that."

"You really want to know about me?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." Naruto was surprised. Not many cared enough to ask him about himself. Of course, it wasn't like he got around that much. He usually spent most of his time with Sasuke, unless Iruka or the Sabakus were in town.

"I don't even know where to start…"

"How about the beginning."

And so he did. He began with his childhood – what it was like with Iruka, his grandparents who visited him once every few years, his goals and dreams. He talked about how he goofed his way through his first two years of high school and how Iruka finally made him change his ways, in the end helping him graduate with good grades. He told Itachi more about those he considered his brothers and sister and how much they impacted each other. He went on about how he started working for Sasuke, how he moved up the corporate ladder, and how they became best friends through it all.

And Itachi just watched and listened. His chin sat in his hand and he watched the blond light up, hands waving animatedly as he talked about all the things close to his heart. He hardly ever did this – just listen to someone talk and actually care about what they said. Most people had ulterior motives for talking to an Uchiha. To be able to freely listen without practically hearing a sales pitch or having people throw themselves at his feet was quite enjoyable. The more Naruto talked, the more Itachi relaxed.

Dinner came and went. Naruto thought it was the best food he'd ever tasted. The two even split dessert, each taking a stick of dango. While they sipped on their drinks, Itachi began to speak. Naruto hadn't even asked, but Itachi was willing. He never likes to give out personal information about himself. Yet for some reason, he felt compelled to tell the blond everything. He talked about his childhood, his father's expectations, the one time he and the blond had met - now that he finally remembered the event, and him and his brother's competitive relationship. He told him about school, university, taking on Uchiha Enterprises, about his parents' constant attempts to get him a date, about all of his friends who tried to do the same.

Itachi's story didn't take nearly as long, but Naruto just sat there, with his chin in both hands, completely captivated with it. It was interesting listening to how much their lives differed from one another. Yet at the end of the day, despite their differences, they both went home alone. But as Itachi continued to talk, Naruto thought he could easily imagine himself sitting across from Itachi at a table or next to him on the couch in his expensive condo. He would willingly listening to him talk about work or anything else. He smiled softly at the thought.

Itachi saw that smile and felt like melting. It was completely unguarded, without thought. He hoped that he was the one to put that beautiful smile there.

* * *

Itachi drove Naruto home. It was close to midnight, yet he wasn't ready for the night to end. He had never felt so relaxed in another's presence.

"Hey Itachi. You really need more stuff in your place."

'_Well, that was random.'_ Itachi thought. "Why is that?"

"It's so bare!"

"Hn."

"I mean you need photos or pictures or something on the walls. It's just so white."

"Well, I don't spend much time there, so I hadn't noticed it."

"That's because you work too much. You should spend more time at home."

'_Why? There's nothing to come home to.'_ Itachi thought to himself. He glanced over at Naruto. _'Well, that might be changing soon.'_

He pulled over and parked. Both of them sat quietly for a moment, neither wanting to end whatever this _thing_ had been. Naruto stopped short of calling it a date, even though Itachi paid for everything and waved off his attempts to give him money. He would love it to be a date. But he really didn't want to get his hopes up. His mind went back to what Iruka told him. He really wouldn't know unless... Naruto finally broke the silence, shyly looking over at Itachi. "Uh…y-you wanna come up for a minute?"

Itachi locked eyes with the blond. He wanted to. Oh god, how he wanted to. However, it was late. And the things he had in mind to do with his blond would take much longer than the time they were allowed. And Itachi planned on taking his time when he finally had Naruto to himself. So he would wait.

"I'd love to, but I'll take a raincheck. It's really late. And I already took you away from your work."

"Pssh…don't worry about that. It's nothing I can't finish tomorrow." He opened the door. Itachi did the same, casually walking with Naruto to the entrance of his apartment building. Naruto turned to Itachi. "Hey, I've got an idea! You doing anything Saturday?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Awesome! I'll make dinner for you. Your place. We're going to work on making those white walls of yours less bare."

And there went the famous eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm serious. Pull out your family photos. I'll even bring mine just for fun since Iruka already started the demise of my reputation. I'll bring some empty frames."

"You're serious about this?"

"Of course." The grin on Naruto's face stretched from ear to ear.

Itachi chuckled already making plans in his head of all the things he would do to the blond that night. "Alright then. Saturday at 5?" Naruto smiled and nodded.

Another moment of silence. This one a little more uncomfortable than the last. Again, Naruto broke it. "Thanks for dinner…Itachi." He was looking down, willing away a blush until he saw those black leather shoes getting closer. He looked up and immediately got caught in that dark gaze.

Itachi came even closer until Naruto's back was against the brick wall. He placed his palms against the wall on either side of the tanned face, pinning Naruto in with his arms.

"I-Itachi…w-what are you doing?" Itachi smirked and leaned in brushing his lips against Naruto's, immediately moving back to see his reaction.

Naruto, the moment he felt the first light touch of those lips, immediately closed his eyes in bliss. It ended up being so light, he was afraid to open his eyes just in case he was dreaming it.

"Naruto…"

He blinked his eyes open at the whispered call of his name. Blue eyes met dark ones. His mind was screaming for Itachi to kiss him again. Naruto's tongue slipped out to nervously lick his slightly dry lips.

Itachi saw that pink tongue dart across those lips and he lost it, crushing his lips to the blond's, wrapping one arm around the other's waist to pull him closer. A moan escaped from Naruto as he was crushed against the hard body.

Itachi wanted more…he slid the tip of his tongue across those lips hoping Naruto would understand. Unconsciously, those lips parted and he angled his head as his tongue entered that hot cavern. Itachi groaned. Yes, this was what he wanted. The taste was so much better than what he had imagined it could be. He felt a tongue shyly slide along his and Itachi intensified the kiss, practically devouring Naruto.

Naruto released a whimper. He felt like he was drowning. My god, he never thought one kiss could be so good, so intense. His arms slowly wound their way around Itachi's neck, allowing him to do whatever he wanted. Their tongues danced, twisted, stroked. Naruto grew bolder and caught the tongue with his teeth and sucked on it, eliciting another moan from the Uchiha. He could hardly breathe, but he refused to let go. Instead, Naruto drew closer to the taller male, tugging on the dark strands of hair. He wanted more. He wanted to be closer…inside his skin. He wanted…Itachi.

Itachi knew he was going too fast. His good intentions were close to flying out the window as they warred with his desire to carry the blond up to his apartment and make him his right now. He slowed down, sucking Naruto's lower lip and dragging his teeth lightly over it before letting go. Their foreheads met and their harsh breaths mingled together. Both pairs of eyes remained closed not wanting to let reality step in just yet. Naruto shivered as fingers slowly glided up and down his back. How he could feel it through his jacket, he didn't know, but it almost burned.

"Itachi." He whispered with a shuddering breath.

Itachi slowly opened his eyes and observed the expressions on Naruto's face. He committed that face to memory. Long fingers threaded through blond hair.

"Open your eyes Naruto."

Naruto couldn't help but obey the deep commanding voice. He looked into Itachi's eyes, shocked at the amount of emotions he saw simmering in them. Whoever started calling him an Ice King lied. All he saw was passion and fire.

Itachi finally pulled away and smirked smugly at Naruto's ravished look.

"Good night Naruto. Thanks for dinner…and dessert." He licked his lips then walked off toward his car. Naruto stayed against the wall watching Itachi walk away, his hand clutching his shirt in the area where his pounding heart resided. He waved once more before Itachi drove off. His legs shook as he climbed to his 2nd floor apartment. The moment he closed the door, he slid to the floor with the biggest smile ever.

THAT was a kiss.

-

-

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n:** So I know you're probably thinking "SQUEEEE FINALLY!" Or maybe that's just what I was thinking as I wrote it. So yeah, finally a first date! And a kiss! Now, aren't you kiddies looking forward to Naruto's Saturday dinner. -grins- OH, and yes, I made Kabuto a cleaning guy XD

And now, I need your help. Gaara gets one more moment of glory in the next chapter. Because of the circumstances, I need him to have a girlfriend to mention. (or boyfriend...might as well throw that out there XD) It cannot be Sakura or Ino. But anyone else in the Narutoverse non-filler or filler is fair game. Let me know in your review who you would choose. I will count them up and the one with the most will win and be mentioned in the next chapter (which by the way is already close to being finished so yay me!). Thanks in advance for your reviews and help! :)


	11. Chapter 11

**a/n:** Whoa, 63 reviews! You guys are completely awesome! I have a feeling everyone was waiting on that kiss to happen. Well, the poll results are in. You'll find out who won as you read the chapter. I thought it would be fun to show what happens the entire week leading up to the Saturday date. Hmm...it seems like the longer this story is going, the longer the chapters are getting lol. Hope you enjoy :)

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 11**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

**_/Tuesday/_**

Sasuke and Hinata were lying in bed, just barely awake. Dawn was just minutes away. There was a hint of light signifying the approach of the day. Sasuke had spent the entire evening speculating about what had happened. Hinata had kept him calm. But now that it was early morning, the excitement was building again. It didn't show in his features, but he couldn't wait to get to work and riddle the blonde with questions.

Hinata yawned in his ear and, with a voice still slightly husky from sleep, warned him. "You know if you ask too much he'll get suspicious."

She was reading his mind again. "Hn."

She stretched her unused limbs and smiled as she kissed Sasuke on the cheek. "I'm trying to figure out if you're happy about torturing your brother or if you're happy that Naruto and Itachi might actually work out.

"Hmm…how about both?" His fingers lightly made random patterns on her back as he thought out loud. "I love torturing him. You know that much. But even if we act like we can't stand each other, we're still brothers. I want him to be happy. And I want Naruto to be happy as well. I'm pleased to see that just maybe they'll find that happiness with each other."

"Well aren't you the sweet little brother and best friend. You do know they're going to kill you when they figure out you were the one orchestrating all of this behind their backs. In fact, after this last stunt, I'd be surprised if Itachi hasn't already started putting the pieces together."

"Not just me, my dear. If I go down, you're going down with me. You've been involved in this just as much as I have. Although, I will concede, I probably didn't cover things up as well as I could have this time. I really couldn't think of any other way to get the two alone on such short notice."

"Well, just remember, if you're going to ask Naruto a bunch of question, be subtle. Ok?"

"Che…you just don't want me to get caught."

"Hey, I'd like to stay on Itachi's good side, you know. I know you have no loyalty, you'd drag me through the mud with you." Hinata grinned and poked her sneaky husband.

"You've got that right."

* * *

Sasuke walked through the elevator doors and headed down the hall to his office. He stopped short, surprised to see Naruto's office door already open. He blinked, unable to believe it was possible. He peeked inside and sure enough, there was the dobe sitting at his desk. He walked inside all ready to tease, but Naruto didn't notice for he was completely lost in thought. If it wasn't for the fact that he had on a different shirt and tie, he'd be tempted to think Naruto had pulled an all nighter. Was he thinking of Itachi? Did something happen between them last night? Sasuke was dying to know.

He closed the door alerting the occupant to a presence. Naruto blinked away the glazed look in his eyes and, after seeing who it was, immediately blushed. "Sasuke?!" He squeaked.

"Yes dobe. Who else would I be?"

"Uh…yeah…who else? Heh heh." Naruto tried to cover himself by grinning widely.

"Something wrong?" Sasuke congratulated himself for keeping a straight face after hearing the dobe squeaking like a girl.

"No…nothing at all." _'Except that you resemble your hot brother, who just happened to give me the hottest kiss ever know to man last night.'_

Sasuke sat down in the chair opposite Naruto. Naruto was having difficulty keeping his mind on his friend. He kept seeing visions of the elder Uchiha sitting in that same chair last night looking like a dark sex god. He bit his lip willing his hormone driven thoughts away and attempted to focus on his best friend.

"How was the concert?"

"Very nice. How late did you end up working?" Yes, conversational. The dobe would never know he was pumping him for information.

"Late. I was the last one here. I think I left around eight something. Oh!" He reached into his drawer and grabbed an envelope passing it to Sasuke. "Itachi came looking for you last night. You must've forgotten to tell him you weren't going to be here. Anyways, I already looked through them and picked out the most promising ones. The rest I gave back to Itachi."

Sasuke hardly cared about the envelope right now. He wanted to hear juicy details of how Naruto and Itachi spent their time in this enclosed space alone. "So, I guess he didn't stay long." He looked inside the envelope, making a show of actually caring.

"No, he stayed. In fact, he invited me to dinner afterwards. Then he took me home." Naruto made sure not to blush in front of Sasuke. The teme knew him too well and he would've been able to figure out that he was omitting a few very important details about the night.

Like how soft his lips were…

How hard his body felt…

How flexible that tongue was…

Crap. Naruto pinched his arm under the desk…hard.

"Where'd you two go?" Naruto had spaced out. It took him a few moments to remember he was in the middle of a conversation with Sasuke.

"Huh? Oh…I don't know…some super ritzy place in a high rise. One of those places that don't put prices on the menus. The food was good." Naruto didn't want to reveal much more. He just didn't feel comfortable talking to Sasuke about his brother. At least not yet. He hoped Sasuke didn't ask anything else.

"I'm sure." Sasuke was going through all the places Uchiha Enterprises would normally take clients and business associates. They had standing accounts with very specific places. None of them were in a high rise. He smirked slightly. Looks like, just maybe, Itachi was trying to woo himself a blond.

He was so tempted to ask more, but he was trying to heed his wife's advice. He didn't want to look like he was digging for information. Naruto could be dense at times, but even he would get suspicious if he started asking too much. But dammit, he wanted to know details! What the two talked about, how long they were out, whether there was any kind of naughtiness…

When had he become such a gossip and pervert? It must be Hinata's influence…

He got up and gathered his things. As much as he would love to stay, he did have work to do.

"Hey teme?" Naruto stopped him.

"Yes?"

"You haven't even said anything."

'_Huh?'_ "About?"

"Me getting here earlier than you!" Naruto grinned as he pointed his pen at his friend.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "That's nothing impressive. I'll only be impressed if you can pull that off for a week straight."

"Temeeeee…" Naruto whined. He thought he'd at least get some credit for coming in early. Especially since Sasuke was always griping to him about the importance of being on time. "You're just mean. You should at least give me some credit."

"Hn."

"Bastard."

Sasuke rolled his eyes again and closed the door.

"Good morning Mr. Uchiha." And immediately wished he'd stayed in the room.

"Good morning Miss Yamanaka."

Ino sent her best smile at Sasuke and walked past him, hips exaggeratedly swaying. "I have your messages if you want me to go over them with you."

'_Try to remain civil.'_ "No thank you. I can read them myself."

"Oh…ok. Well, would you like to have lunch with me? I made enough for both of us." _'Does she ever quit?'_

"Look Ino…" Sasuke was so annoyed he ceased with pleasantries. He pointed to his ring. "Do you see this?"

She nodded.

"Do you know what this means?"

She nodded again.

"Are you sure? Because every day you ask me out. Every day! You completely disregard my lack of interest. So, let me spell it out for you in plain terms so that even _you_ will understand. I am married...Happily married...Never going out with another woman again married. There is absolutely nothing that you could offer me that I don't already have times 1000."

Ino blinked.

"So, I guess that means you don't want to have lunch with me?"

'_Oh, for crying out loud!'_ "No! Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. And the next time you ask me, you're fired."

Sasuke walked away to his office without another glance. Ino watched him walk away and sighed. Her dream was walking away from her.

The door next to her opened. "Hey te- …oh, hey Ino."

Ino looked the blond male up and down, a grin slowly spreading over her face. "Hello Naruto." Maybe it was time to change her dream.

* * *

**_/Wednesday/_**

Itachi was busy reading notes for his next investors meeting. The door opened and banged against the wall. He looked up in annoyance, glaring at whoever was disturbing his moment of peace. A giant of a man stood in the doorway with a predatory grin. Itachi sat back in the chair with his hands folded and a brow raised.

"Itachi, your secretary is annoying. She kept telling me to wait…" The gruff voice began.

The object of the man's annoyance ran in behind him interrupting his rant. "Mr. Uchiha, I'm so sorry. I tried to stop him. But he wouldn't wait and…"

"Don't worry about it Sakura. I'll deal with him." Sakura nodded and closed the door. Itachi's dark eyes bored into pale yellow ones.

"There are rules of etiquette for places like this Kisame."

"Che…why should I have to wait around forever or wait for some pink hai…"

"Don't say it." Itachi glared.

Kisame held up his hands in surrender then walked over and sat down, immediately slumping in the chair and stretching out his long legs. "I just wanted to see how you were. No one's seen or heard from you for a week."

"Maybe there's a reason for that."

"You still aren't sore about that picture you think I took are you?"

"There is no 'think' about it. I _know_ you took it. But that's beside the point. Why are you here?"

"Just thought I'd take you to lunch." Kisame grinned.

"You mean invite yourself to come with me so I can treat you to lunch?" Itachi deadpanned.

"That too!" Itachi rolled his eyes and got up.

"Fine, come on. I'll treat you to fast food."

"What?! Come on. Why can't we go to a real restaurant?" He whined.

"With you? I think not."

* * *

"So, what did you do with those pictures?" Itachi asked.

Itachi and Kisame were eating at the sushi bar a block down from the Uchiha building. Well, Itachi was eating. Kisame was doing what could only be described as inhaling.

"I told you I didn't take any pictures." Kisame replied in between bites.

"And I'm telling you I don't believe you."

Kisame sighed. "What's the big deal anyway?"

"Actually it doesn't matter. At least, not anymore." Itachi shrugged. "Look, I just want the rest of them. I need them."

"What for?"

"None of your business."

"Well then you won't get them."

Itachi grinned.

Kisame smacked his hand against his forehead. "Ah crap...I can't believe I fell for that."

Itachi chuckled evilly. "You're so easy to bait." He got up from the bar and walked off, Kisame following close behind.

"Heh…uh…please don't kill me?"

"Oh don't worry, I won't." Itachi smirked. "As long as I get the rest of the pictures."

"Ok, fine, you can have them. I'll email them to you tonight. What do you want them for anyway?"

Itachi grinned as he thought about the one he would be spending his time with Saturday. If they were going to decorate and hang pictures, it would be a nice little surprise for his blond. "I have my reasons."

Kisame showed off a grin of his own. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the hot blond we met last week would it?"

Itachi cut his eyes to the side and saw the grin his friend sported. "Quit grinning fish face, you're scaring the masses."

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Quit trying to avoid the question." Damn. It was bad to have friends who knew you too well.

Kisame laughed heartily at the so-called Ice King. "So someone finally got to you huh?"

Itachi ignored him.

Kisame refused to be ignored and was not above baiting either. "I bet he'll be hot in the sack."

The Itachi Uchiha glare was in full effect. "Shut up Kisame before I hurt you."

"Heh heh. So you DO like him. We had all given up on you, you know. Although, how any man could go without sex for as long as you have, I'll never know."

"Why would I have sex with someone I don't even like? And could you please concentrate on your own sex life instead of worrying about mine?"

"But I don't have a sex life at the moment."

"Exactly my point."

* * *

Safely ensconced in his office, Itachi decided it was time to check on his scheming little brother. He wasn't going to call him on it…not yet. But it would be fun to make Sasuke squirm.

"Hello?"

"Ah, if it isn't my little brother. The same one who stood me up two nights ago."

"Yeah…sorry about that." Uh huh...he sounded so apologetic.

"I feel so hurt that you jilted me like that, just for a concert."

"Yes Itachi, I know, I should have called or something." Itachi knew from the tone of voice that Sasuke was quickly getting annoyed at his light scolding.

"Hn."

"What do you want? I have things to do."

"Did Naruto give you the package?"

"Yes, he did."

"And?"

"They look like some interesting prospects. I'm having my secretary set up some appointments."

"Good. So, how was the concert?"

"It was nice." _'I bet.'  
_

"That's good. Who did you see?"

"It was a classical music festival, so it was a lot of different people." Yep, he could already see Sasuke sweating.

"Oh, really? I wouldn't have minded seeing that. Where was it held?" Itachi grinned. He knew Sasuke was probably racking his brain or google-ing a concert hall right now.

"Uh…It was at the…uh...what's that place called?" Yep, he was. "Oh yes, the Opera City Concert Hall."

"Hmm, I'm surprised they even have concerts scheduled on a Monday. Well I'm glad you and Hinata had a good time. I, on the other hand, drove to the other side of town, only to find you gone. Fortunately Naruto was there."

"Yes, I'm sure he was helpful."

"Yes he was." Itachi grinned. "Well, I just wanted to check on the proposals, so I'll be going now."

"Hn. Goodbye."

Itachi hung up with a wicked smirk. Sasuke would definitely be on edge now. It was always such fun playing with his brother's head.

* * *

**_/Thursday/_**

Hinata watched her husband pacing the floor deep in thought. He hadn't told her yet what was going on, but she was sure it had something to do with Itachi. She rolled her eyes at Sasuke's pacing and stepped behind him so as soon as he turned she was in his face.

"So, are you going to tell me what this is about? Or am I going to have to torture it out of you?"

Sasuke's eyes widened at the words. That sounded pretty hot actually. Damn perverted thoughts. He needed to stop that line of thinking quickly. He had things to figure out first.

"Itachi knows."

Hinata shrugged and smiled. "I'm sure you don't want me to say I told you so."

"He didn't say anything really. But I could tell just from his questions when he called me yesterday."

"And you're pacing like a crazy person because?" Hinata crossed her arms over her chest and waited.

"I'm just trying to figure out what angle he'll come from to get me back." Hinata laughed.

"Sasuke honey, you'll never be able to anticipate him you know."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence dear." Sasuke replied, rolling his eyes. "You have such faith in me."

"Oh, I do. But Itachi will always end up two steps ahead of you and you know it. Thus the reason you're pacing and wearing out the carpet."

She was right, of course. Sasuke just hated not knowing what Itachi had planned for him. He was hoping that Itachi would be so caught up in Naruto that he would be willing to overlook the way he had brought the two together. He sat down in the chair and sighed. Hinata walked up to him and sat on his lap and kissed him.

"Sasuke quit worrying. Even if he does something to get you back, it won't be anything that will kill you or be harmful in anyway."

"You don't know Itachi like I do. He always knew how to make my life miserable when I was a child."

Hinata wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well, you won't make things any better by worrying over it. Just deal with it when the time comes."

"You're right. I should just stop worrying. I mean, I was really more worried for you than me." Hinata looked at him confused.

"Since I refuse to take the fall alone." Hinata's eyes widened.

"So instead, I'll just worry about me."

Hinata punched him hard on his shoulder and glared indignantly.

Sasuke laughed and kissed the pout off her lips.

* * *

Naruto groaned as he looked at the neon numbers of his alarm clock. He couldn't believe this was happening again. It was after 2:00 a.m. and he couldn't sleep.

Why did this have to happen now?

He had a meeting at 10 a.m. He couldn't afford to doze off or constantly yawn in the presence of an important client. Sasuke would have his head.

Damn Itachi and his stupid sexy body, his stupid wonderful tongue, his stupid soft lips, those stupid sexy dark eyes that held him captive, and his stupid overly long sexy dark locks. ARGH! Monday's late night events had invaded his every thought – at work, at home, on his way to work or home. And now it was keeping him from sleeping dammit!

He needed a distraction.

He needed to talk to someone.

Someone who could sort out his thoughts about Itachi. And then afterward make him forget about him for about 4 hours so he could sleep.

Sasuke?

Nah, he couldn't talk to Sasuke, not about this. Besides, the teme would kill him for waking him up this early in the morning.

There was only one person who might be up this late.

He dialed. After 3 rings the phone picked up.

"It's 2:35 a.m. Uzumaki."

"No…really…I didn't know." Naruto said sarcastically.

Naruto heard a sigh. "Can't sleep?"

"How could you tell?"

"Because you're…"

Naruto heard a voice in the background. _'Who the...'_

"Hold on." He heard Gaara and whoever this person was talking back and forth. He covered one ear and strained the other, trying to decipher what they were saying. Huh? He thought he heard something about youth. _'What the hell?'_ Then he heard some rustling and a door closing.

"Alright, sorry bout that."

"Gaara, who was that?"

"…No one."

"I heard _someone_. And that was definitely NOT Temari or Kankuro. So spill."

"…"

"…"

Another sigh came through the receiver. "Fine. I'm seeing someone."

"Really? That's great. So when did you two meet?"

"A couple of months ago."

Naruto was shocked to say the least. "That long? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well...I didn't want to make you feel bad." He could tell Gaara felt kind of guilty. "I mean, since you didn't have anyone."

"Gaara, you don't have to worry about me. I would've been happy for you. So tell me about this mystery person."

"Naruto...it's almost 3:00 in the morning."

"I know. I just need you to take my mind off of things."

"Itachi Uchiha?"

"...something like that." Naruto mumbled.

"Alright, but you're going to tell me what's wrong after this. His name is Lee."

"Uh huh." _'Why does that name sound familiar?'_

"And I met him through my doctor. He recommended me to see a sleep therapist for my insomnia. Lee ended up being the recommended sleep therapist."

"You have a sleep therapist?" Naruto started snickering.

"Uzumaki..." Gaara growled in warning.

"And now the sleep therapist is sleeping with you?" Naruto was full out laughing.

"I'm hanging up now."

"NO! Wait! Ok ok, I'm done...seriously."

"..."

"Gaara? Alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. Go on with the story."

"Well, not much to tell...we met, we hit it off, he talked a lot, I talked a little, next thing you know, we were going out. He reminds me a bit of you actually. Loud, obnoxious..."

"Hey!" Naruto growled indignantly.

"...but loveably sweet and ridiculously loyal." Naruto didn't know why, but somehow that description triggered an old memory in his head.

"Uh...Gaara?"

"Hm?"

"He doesn't happen to wear an excessive amount of green does he?"

"Actually, yes."

"I know him! From back in Konoha. Oh my god...you're going out with HIM?!" Naruto burst into laughter. "What does he do? Use his 'Power of Youth' to sex you up until you're so exhausted you fall asleep?" Naruto was doubled over in laughter on his bed.

"..."

"Gaara?" Naruto started feeling bad so he tried to stop laughing.

"...Actually, that's exactly what he does."

"..."

"..."

"...you're joking."

"You of all people should know I don't joke."

Naruto tried. He really did. It started with a chuckle, then a snicker, soon he was doubled over again almost falling off of his bed in laughter.

Oh the other end of the line, Gaara rolled his eyes and ignored his so-called little brother. "So...Naruto...What's this about you and Itachi?"

Laughter stopped immediately "Huh?"

"Ah...I see I've found something that will stop you from making fun of me. So why can't you sleep?"

"Uh...well...I'mmakingItachidinnerSaturdayandIdon'tknowwhattodo." Naruto heard Gaara chuckle.

"So you're making Itachi dinner. Interesting. And how did that happen?" He already knew how to decipher nervous Naruto speak.

"I kind of asked him after dinner."

"Dinner? What dinner?"

"Well, you see, I was at work late Monday and he showed up because he was supposed to meet the teme, but he wasn't there. So he took me to dinner."

"OOH...a date."

"It wasn't a date."

"Really? Did you pay?"

"No."

"Did you talk business?"

"No."

"Did he take you home and give you a goodnight kiss?"

"..."

"Naruto?"

"Well...yeah." Naruto blushed in the darkness. He could practically see the feral grin on Gaara's face through the phone.

"Then it was a date. And now you're having a second one. You and Itachi are getting mighty cozy these days."

"Quiet." Naruto growled.

"Hey, _you_ called _me_ at 2 in the morning. So Naruto, what could possibly be causing you to lose sleep?"

"I'm just nervous I guess." If Naruto could have seen the evil grin on Gaara's face he might've hung up.

"Nervous about the date? Or nervous about the sex that'll come after."

Naruto sputtered in shock and discomfort. "W-What?! Gaara!"

"What's the matter Uzumaki? Afraid that it will be more than just dinner? Afraid you won't know what to do? Don't worry, I think with a genius Uchiha taking the reins it'll be just fine."

Naruto was completely mortified. "G-Gaara...Quit t-teasing me."

"Just call it payback... Look, Naruto. It'll be fine. Just relax and go with the flow. You'll enjoy the results. I know I did." Naruto's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Gaara! You pervert!"

"Guilty as charged. And my perverted self really would like to go back to bed and do naughty things to my boyfriend now that it's almost 3:30."

"Fine fine...go back to bed. Actually I think your news was enough of a shock to possibly put me to sleep for an hour or so."

"Trust me Naruto, it'll work itself out. Relax."

"Yeah...thanks. And jokes aside, I am happy for you." Naruto yawned and stretched back out on the bed. He couldn't resist one more jab. "Have fun with your youthful companion."

"Shut up and sleep."

* * *

**/Friday/**

A very tired Naruto came out of the elevator hoping Sasuke wouldn't be waiting for him.

"You're late." No such luck.

Naruto sent a tired glare at his friend. "Save it." He walked on toward his office, not caring if the teme was behind him or not.

"What's your problem dobe?"

"Nothing." Naruto sighed and tossed his coat and bag on the couch before tiredly plopping down into his leather chair.

"What's wrong Naruto?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Hn...maybe the fact that you're grouchy..."

"I am not grouchy!"

"...you have bags under your eyes, you're not singing horribly with your ipod, and you're not grinning at me flaunting the fact that you showed up late."

"..."

Eyebrow raise.

Damn, he hated that Uchiha trait.

"I couldn't sleep." Naruto mumbled.

"Why not?" Sasuke was sure it probably had something to do with Itachi.

"I don't know."

Naruto tried to ignore the glare Sasuke gave him, looking away towards the wall. _'Hmm...interesting blank white wall...just like Itachi's house...GAH! Don't think of him....Oh look, is that a spider?'_

"Dobe..." Sasuke growled in warning.

Naruto sighed. "Look, it's nothing ok?"

"No, it's not ok. You obviously have something bothering you. Besides, we're best friends. And best friends are there for each other right?" Oh yeah, Sasuke was laying the guilt trip on now.

And it was working. Naruto lowered his eyes feeling a bit guilty.

"Naruto, I just want to help you. If your problem is keeping you up all night, then you must need some help. This has been happening too much lately. Let me help you." Ok, Sasuke even wondered if he was laying it on too thick now.

Naruto closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. Talking to Sasuke about his brother would just be weird. Sometimes, it seemed like the Uchiha brothers weren't exactly on the best of terms. So he really didn't know how Sasuke would feel about him and Itachi. But, if things worked out like he wanted, Sasuke would have to know anyway. "I-It's Itachi."

Sasuke hid a slight grin with his hand, sliding it discreetly over his lips and chin like he was taking a thinking pose. "Hn...what about him?"

"Uh...well...I...you see..."

"Spit it out dobe!" Sasuke said impatiently with a glare. Stupid dobe dragging it out.

Naruto reacted to the glare, blurting out the first thing in his head. "I'm in love with your brother." Oops...he didn't mean for it to come out like that. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"You're in love with Itachi?" The blond nodded, a blush staining his cheeks.

"You think that would bother me." Sasuke knew that was what Naruto was thinking.

"Well...doesn't it?" Sasuke shrugged. He didn't want to seem too excited even though in his mind he was jumping up and down with glee. His task was halfway complete. Now he just needed to know if his brother felt the same. Although, if his actions over the past week were any indication, he had to feel something for the blond.

"Eh...not really. As much as he may annoy me, he is still my brother. And somewhere deep _deep_ _DEEP _down, I somewhat...maybe a little bit...love him. And considering you're my best friend, becoming brothers would be a simple transition."

"Oh." Naruto lips twitched. He wanted to smile at Sasuke's businesslike words of acceptance.

"Does he love you?" That was the million dollar question in Sasuke's mind.

Actually, that was the million dollar question in Naruto's mind too. He didn't know. Well, there was 'The Kiss' but anybody can kiss someone. His dark eyes showed so much emotion, but it could've just been the moment. To Naruto it was the world, but what was it to Itachi?

"I don't know." Sasuke watched his friend's face fall somewhat. He REALLY needed to know what happened Monday night.

"What do you mean you don't know? I mean, you have to know something. Did he say anything?"

"No...not exactly. I mean..." He blushed redder.

"What?"

"He...he kissed me." Sasuke almost fell out the edge of the chair he was in.

"He kissed you?"

"That's what I said."

Oh god, Sasuke couldn't believe he was about to resort to asking such a perverted question. "What kind of kiss was it? Peck on the lips or the suck your lips off kind of kiss?"

Naruto couldn't help but laugh at Sasuke's description. "Uh...I'd have to say the second, although I wouldn't have described it that way." God, he couldn't stop blushing. Just Sasuke's words had him reliving the kiss in his head.

"Hn. You have nothing to worry about then."

"Huh? Why?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Dobe, this is Itachi we're talking about. The Ice King. Emotionless bastard Itachi."

"Hey! He's not like that."

"Whatever dobe. My point is Itachi doesn't just kiss anyone. In fact, I'm not really sure if he's ever kissed anyone."

Naruto looked at him in disbelief. Sasuke chuckled at the look on his face.

"Did he tell you about how my folks are always pushing potential marriage mates on him left and right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Dobe, the reason they kept doing that is because they were hoping someone, anyone, would catch his eye. Look, my brother has never been on a date in his entire life, at least not that I know of, let alone kissed anyone. He'd never kiss someone for the heck of it. He'd consider it beneath him."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Sasuke grinned and lightly yanked one of the blond spikes. "Dobe, you have no idea how many women, and some men, would give anything to be in your position. He feels something for you...even if it's not love yet. Now does that make you feel better?"

Naruto was surprised Sasuke could say so many words at one time. A small smile lit up Naruto's face. "Yeah, a little. Now I only need to figure out what to cook."

"Cook?"

"Uh huh. I told Itachi I'd come over and cook for him Saturday and help do some decorating."

"Decorate?" Ah, the one word answers were back.

"Yeah...well, not the paint, but pictures, frames, you know, that kind of stuff. His place is the barest home I've ever seen."

"Probably because he spends all his time in his office."

"He should spend more time at home. The office is boring."

Sasuke grinned pervertedly. My god, that attitude was getting addicting. "Well, maybe he'll have a reason to stay home now."

Naruto didn't get it until he saw the gleam in his friend's eyes and the grin. "PERVERT!!!" He yelled and pointed.

"What? I'm just stating a fact." Sasuke laughed. "I mean, Itachi would have a great reason for coming home now. A tall blond sexy piece of ass to play with." Naruto growled and got up running after the brunette who, as soon as he saw the blond jump up, opened the door and fled the office.

"TEME!!!!! I'm gonna kick your..."

"Language dobe! We're in the office." Sasuke snickered in front of his office door as the blond glared at him from down the hall.

"Teme!" Sasuke waved and closed his door.

And locked it for good measure.

Then he did something no person alive would believe was possible. Sasuke grinned and did a goofy dance, pointing his fingers in the air and started singing. "Oh yeah...I'm bad...Oh yeah."

He then proceeded to sit down and call Hinata. He had news to tell.

* * *

Ino watched Sasuke close the door of his office and stood up making sure her clothes were just right. She looked in the little mirror behind her and checked her lipstick. Then she smiled and headed towards the blond man's office. Knocking lightly, she waited.

"Come in."

She walked in and closed the door behind her.

"Ino...Hi."

She smiled. "Hello Naruto."

"You need something?"

"No actually. I just wanted to see if you were doing anything tomorrow."

"Uh, sorry, I already have plans."

"Oh...well, what about Sunday?"

"I don't know yet. Why? What's going on?"

"Well...I was planning to have a few people over." _'More like one.'_ "And I thought I'd invite you."

Naruto, innocent as he was, didn't have a clue about Ino's motives. "Oh. That sounds nice. If I don't have anything to do, I'll try to stop by."

Ino's smile was blinding. "Great! Let me give you my address and phone number." She wrote it down and passed it to him, leaning over as she did it so that he could see her cleavage hanging out of her low cut shirt.

Naruto was so busy looking at the slip of paper, he didn't even notice.

Ino straightened up and winked at him before walking towards the door and opening it. "I hope to see you there Naruto," she said before closing the door behind her.

Naruto put the information in his phone thinking it was nice of her to invite him to her party. Then he looked at his grocery list and his thoughts went back to the dark haired man he would be spending Saturday with.

--

--

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n: ** Dun dun dun dun...Ino's back on the prowl. But she's picked the wrong person if she wants him to pick up signals. XD And Sasuke finally gets the dish on what happened between Naruto and Itachi. But Itachi's going to make Sasuke go nuts while he decides how to get him back. I'd hate to get on Itachi's bad side myself. Also, a big thank you and cookies go to **Cassandra Incognito** for giving me the idea for Lee being a sleep doctor. I had so much fun writing that part. Please review everyone! And next chapter, it's what you've been waiting for!

So, here's the results of the poll. It was soooo close for Shika:

Lee - 10

Shikamaru - 7

Neji - 5 (yes I decided to include his votes anyway since some forgot he had a girlfriend)

Matsuri, Yugito, Haku - 3

Sai, Anko, Kiba, Tayuya - 2

Shino, Hanabi, Isaribi, Sasame, Sora, Akatsuki members - 1


	12. Chapter 12

**a/n: **Well, here it is. I can truthfully say I agonized over it for a week and I did my best. Even now I'm second guessing myself so I'm putting this up right now before I change my mind again. Hopefully it's not too bad. -hides- My goodness, I surprised myself with how fluffy this is. Anyways, you know there will be some humor - not as much as usual, but it wouldn't be my story without at least a bit of it. Thank you for all of your reviews. Your really don't know how much it's helped make my writing easier. Holy crap...over 7000 words! Enjoy!

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** LEMON ALERT! AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 12**

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**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

If only Itachi Uchiha could see Naruto right now. He'd probably tackle the blond to the floor and ravage him right then and there.

Naruto was wrapped in nothing but a fluffy orange towel, water dripping from his semi-dry hair and causing little water droplets that slowly made glittery paths down his tanned skin into the towel around his waist. He had just gotten out of the shower and was now running around in a panic. He had no clue what to wear. So he was ransacking his poor bedroom in an effort to find something that would work for his date.

He picked up a t-shirt. _'Too casual.'_ – Toss

He grabbed a black shirt off the hanger. _'Too dressy.'_ – Toss

He saw the blue shirt he got from Hinata. _'Too club-y.'_ – Toss

The floor and bed became littered with a pile of rejects. He was going to pull his hair out soon. He didn't know what the hell to wear! It was a date, yet not. They were going to be at his house and he would be cooking. So, there was no reason for him to get too dressed up. But he didn't want to look like a total bum either. And he hated to admit it, but most of his clothes that weren't for work were basically listed under the bum description. He paced and muttered to himself until he heard a knock at the door.

He opened the door and saw nothing but a fed ex package on the floor. _'Huh? I didn't order anything.'_ Bringing the package inside, he examined the shipping label. It had his name on it. But he didn't recognize the shipping address. He went ahead and opened it. Inside was…clothes? A dark blue pair of jeans and a light blue crew neck shirt with an orange stripe. Along with it was a note. He opened the note and was surprised to see Sasuke's handwriting.

_Dobe, knowing you, you're probably losing the little bit of sanity you have left trying to figure out what to wear on your date. Since I know your casual wardrobe pretty much consists of tshirts, hoodies and old faded jeans, I figured it was only right that you get some assistance so that you will have some form of acceptable attire. I even gave you something with a little orange in it. Consider it a good luck thing._

_- Sasuke_

Naruto grinned, in spite of the typical insults. Underneath all that bravado he knew Sasuke cared. And that's all that mattered. As much as he hated Sasuke criticizing his wardrobe, he really did need to get some new clothes. Since he never went out much, he hadn't seen much reason for it before. He held up the shirt and pants. As usual – Naruto rolled his eyes – Sasuke had great taste. He got dressed and looked at himself in the mirror. Darn that teme, the clothes did look good on him. Looks like he'd be owing his friend a thank you.

He tried to comb though his rebellious hair and get it to look like the way Hinata had done it – to no avail. He ended up just shaking it out letting the spikes do what they wanted. He grabbed a jacket and left with his shopping list. He had an hour and a half left to pick up the ingredients and be at Itachi's.

* * *

On the other side of town, Itachi didn't look as nervous as he felt. This was the first time he would be completely alone with the blonde and he was already thinking of so many things he'd like to do. Most of them, of course, were of the naked and naughty persuasion.

Itachi was already dressed in black jeans and a red button up shirt. He planned on leaving about three buttons unbuttoned. That would be tempting enough. Oh yes, he definite planned on seducing the blond tonight. Those three buttons, he hoped, would drive Naruto to distraction. If he had his way, Naruto wouldn't be leaving at all tonight…or tomorrow…hell, maybe forever.

He wondered what Naruto planned to cook. He really hadn't even thought about whether he could cook or not. But he wouldn't have offered if he couldn't…right? He had a fleeting thought that made him chuckle...He really hoped the blond didn't poison him.

Going into the front closet, he pulled out a leather jacket. He had to go pick up the enlarged pictures he ordered a couple of days ago. He had to admit, Kisame may be rough around the edges, but he was great with a camera. The shots and angles he got were just awesome. Hmm, maybe while he was out he should pick up some sake. Pocky too…he was running low.

* * *

Sasuke was in his living room, his long legs stretched out and crossed, perusing the newspaper. His mind wasn't on the news though, but on two particular people who would be on a date in the next - he looked at his watch - hour or so. He smirked, satisfied with the way his plans were smoothly moving along. He really hadn't expected the two to come together so quickly and easily. He expected more resistance to the idea.

He thought Itachi would balk at it and then kill him after finding out it was his idea.

He figured Naruto would rant and rave about him interfering with his love life, or lack thereof. Then he would stay in denial forever until Sasuke forced him to admit his feelings.

But exactly the opposite happened. The two were immediately attracted like two magnets that had been brought together. Even so, Itachi had always played the role of Ice King so well, he thought his brother would deny the attraction for a much longer period of time. Although, he probably had his mother to thank for that. She was very good at extracting emotions from the older brother. He figured the dobe would stay in denial, but it seemed that Naruto's relatives took care of that too.

If it hadn't been Naruto and Itachi, he wouldn't have believed it...he would've been more wary. Love didn't just happen like that...not in two weeks. That was fairy tale crap. That love at first sight stuff made him gag. But, who could question this? Itachi would never go through with a date if he wasn't sure. Naruto wasn't the type to take love lightly. He'd never so much as seriously flirted with anyone as long as he'd known him.

So now there was a date, at Itachi's house no less! And Naruto was the one who initiated it. Who'd have thought?

Although Naruto always was a go-getter. Look at how he started working at Uchiha Enterprises...

Yes, he had an unusual, slightly sentimental moment and bought the dobe some new clothes for the occasion. Seriously, the idiot needed them. He'd seen his casual wardrobe. It was – stating it lightly – appalling. No wonder the blond never went out with anyone before. Ouch...that was a bit harsh. Really though, if there was a side by side picture of Naruto, work clothing vs. casual clothing, there was no doubt as to which one would win by a landslide. He got stares almost as often as he did when they were together at work. And to compare with an Uchiha, that's saying something. It was up to him to make sure the dobe would be drool-worthy for his smitten brother.

His plan definitely seemed to be working so far. Itachi was beginning to mellow out just a smidgen since meeting the blond.

Too bad it wasn't going to get him out of whatever type of retaliation Itachi had planned for him.

"What could you possibly be frowning for now?"

He glanced at his wife. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"Itachi."

Hinata rolled her eyes. Why did pulling information from her husband take so much energy? She sat next to him and pulled his head into her lap. He glared up at her. She glared back daring him to question what she was doing. He relented with a sigh and let her do what she wanted. Not like he could stop her anyway. He never could...damn her for being his weakness. She grinned down at the annoyed younger Uchiha. "You shouldn't sulk dear." She said playfully.

"Shut up."

She laughed and Sasuke slightly smiled. Her laughter rang in his ears like music. She was the only woman alive allowed to treat him this way. Well, besides his mother. She was a force of nature that couldn't be stopped.

Hinata ran her fingers through dark slightly unruly hair. She loved when he didn't put gel in it to tame those unruly strands in the back that always stuck out. His natural hair was so smooth to the touch. "So...what about Itachi?"

"He's mellowed a bit. Since Naruto, he's been less infuriating."

"Ah."

"Too bad that won't stop him from getting back at me."

"Are we back at this again? I thought you decided to stop worrying."

"I'm not worrying. I'm just trying to do damage control before the inevitable happens. I'm starting to wonder if I should just sic mother on him. She keeps him in check."

"Oh sure, just put your poor mother in the middle of this."

"Poor mother? Mikoto Uchiha? I don't think so. This is the same person that instigated many a date Itachi refused."

"Yeah but still..."

"She wouldn't allow him to kill her 'baby boy.'" Hinata laughed at the femalish voice Sasuke used to imitate his mother.

"You are terrible!"

Sasuke looked up into the lavender eyes and smirked. "Nope, just truthful." Both of them stayed quiet for a while. Sasuke was in the middle of relishing the feel of those fingertips massaging his scalp when she spoke again.

"Let's go to dinner."

"Hn...that was a complete subject change." Hinata shrugged.

"Well, I'm hungry. And I'm lazy. I don't feel like cooking today. Besides you owe me a date since we didn't exactly have one on Monday like you told Naruto and Itachi." She grinned.

Sasuke groaned knowing his wallet was about to get a lot lighter.

* * *

Naruto had just gotten to the store and parked when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon Naruto."

Naruto shivered slightly. God that voice… "Itachi, hi."

"Listen, I have to go pick up a couple of things. So just in case I don't make it back here before you do, here's what you need to do once you get here."

"Ok…shoot."

"I have two parking spots. I already left your name with the security guard. Just give him your name and he'll tell you where to park."

"Ok."

"Also, when you get to the lobby, I left my spare key with a man at the information desk. His name is Kakashi. He'll pass it along to you so you can let yourself in."

"Great."

"I guess that's pretty much it. Just make yourself at home. Whatever you need is yours to use. It shouldn't take me long to return."

"Ok. I guess I'll see you soon then."

"Hn…I'm looking forward to it."

* * *

Naruto walked into the lobby of Itachi's building, hauling two grocery bags and another bag filled with picture frames and a picture album. He looked for the information desk and upon, seeing it on the other side of the lobby, walked over to the silver haired man sitting there reading a book. Wow, he had worse hair than him! As he got closer he could hear him giggling. He wondered what could be so funny until he got close enough to see the book. Oh good god, Icha Icha Paradise? He rolled his eyes.

He was surrounded by perverts.

He cleared his throat hoping the man would notice him. No luck.

"Uh…excuse me."

"Hmm?" The man kept his eyes glued to the book. At least he answered this time, even if it was more of a grunt.

"Um, I'm looking for Kakashi?"

"You're looking at him." He flipped to the next page, not even acknowledging the blond's existence. Jeez was porn that engrossing?

"Oh…well...Itachi Uchiha left a key for me. My name is Naruto."

Well, that made him stop and look up over the top of the book. Naruto noticed the eyes were mismatched…one red, the other gray…interesting. And now those eyes were roaming over his form slowly. Ewww! Naruto repressed a slight shudder and glared at the perverted man indignantly, grumbling about pervs keeping their eyes to themselves. He was trying very hard to keep his normally loud mouth shut and not make a scene in public. At least not in Itachi's place of residence.

"Hmm…I can see why he's interested in you."

Ok, Naruto was quite disturbed now. "Key please?" He held out a hand.

"Ah yes…key." Kakashi went into a drawer and pulled out a key ring with a solitary key hanging from it. "Here you are."

"Thanks." Naruto took the key and walked swiftly towards the elevator. He hoped the guy wasn't checking out his backside….that would just be weird.

Naruto felt a small tingle of excitement as he slid the key into the lock and opened the door of Itachi's condo. He was really here in Itachi's apartment. The two would have the whole evening alone. Just the thought made him smile. He turned around slowly, looking at all the blank walls and swore to himself that, by the time this night was over, there would be pictures on the walls.

Grabbing the two grocery bags, he went into the kitchen and set the bags on the bar counter where he could look into the living room. He started unloading the ingredients, wondering if he should wait for Itachi before he got started.

"_Just make yourself at home."_ Well, that was what he said. So Naruto shrugged and started looking through cabinets and drawers one by one, finding the things he needed and cataloging it in his head so he could remember it when he started cooking. Once that was done, he went back into the living room to stand in front of the stereo. He needed music. It was too quiet. Looking through CD's would be a pain, though, so he just turned on the radio and found one of his favorite stations. He grinned. _'That's better.' _He started dancing and singing to the music as he walked back to the kitchen to start on the meal.

* * *

Itachi looked at his watch as he walked through the lobby, one bag in his hand. It was almost 5:30. He hoped Naruto had gotten in ok. He walked up to Kakashi, who was still engrossed in his book.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked with a smirk.

"Mmhmm. You should try it some time." Kakashi replied without looking up.

"Hn…no thanks."

"Well, I guess there's no need for you to do so now that you have a hot looking blond."

Itachi raised a brow at the silver haired man. "So I guess he got the key?"

"Uh huh."

"Good." Itachi turned and walked to the elevators.

"So, are you going to be getting him a key made soon instead of having me play errand boy?"

Itachi stopped. He smirked as he turned his head to look back at Kakashi. "After tonight, you won't have to worry about playing an errand boy." He heard Kakashi chuckling as he walked away.

* * *

Itachi opened his door and stopped short. His vision was assaulted with a scene that made him pull a handkerchief from his pocket and hold it to his profusely bleeding nose.

Naruto was setting the small table Itachi owned. That wouldn't have been a problem if it wasn't for the fact that those hips were moving to the beat of the music and those dark jeans he wore were showing off that perfect ass. He leaned against the door frame and continued to watch the blond as he danced his way around the table and back to the kitchen singing slightly off key. Ok, the singing needed a bit of help, but the scene was just so adorable and hot at the same time that Itachi really had no reason to complain.

There was no way in hell he was allowing Naruto to leave tonight.

When the song came to an end, Itachi closed the door. Naruto yelped, jumped and turned around holding his hand to his heart. When he saw it was Itachi he breathed a sigh of relief. "Itachi, you scared me." He was glad the other male hadn't walked in while he was dancing.

Itachi smirked. It was quite funny, he could see in those blue orbs exactly what Naruto was thinking. He would make sure Naruto knew he had been watching the entire performance. He walked into the kitchen setting down the box of pocky and bottle of sake and moved behind the blond, who had turned to stir whatever was in the pot. He placed his hand on the man's hipbone and leaned down slightly to whisper in his ear. "That dance was quite sexy. You should do it again for me sometime."

Naruto immediately went scarlet. Itachi chuckled as he watched the ear he whispered in turn red. He grinned and, on impulse, brushed his lips against the reddened cheek and went back to the living room. He didn't see the blond blush even further, bringing a hand to his cheek.

"So, you didn't have any problems getting in did you?"

"N-No…not at all." Poor Naruto was still trying to will down the blush and calm his racing heart. "Well, I got here a little early so dinner will be done in about 20 minutes." Naruto was hoping Itachi would like what he made. He didn't want to make things too difficult so he decided on miso soup, baked salmon, thin slices of beef, rice and vegetables simmered in shoyu. It was quick and easy to whip up.

"Hn. Smells good." Itachi actually smelled the aroma outside his condo before he even walked through the door. He figured he might as well keep himself busy until dinner was ready. He pressed the remote for the stereo, switching to play CD's. The softer sounds of jazz floated from the speakers setting a more appropriate mood. He made himself comfortable on the black couch and started pulling out all the frames he purchased along with the frames Naruto brought. Finally he pulled out Naruto's photo album. He grinned.

Naruto had just turned around when he saw the album in Itachi's hand and the grin on his face. "No way! You can't look yet."

"And why ever not?" There went that dark brow.

"Because I said so." Naruto crossed his arms and pouted. Itachi would have loved to walk over and suck that lower lip. He couldn't resist that pout and the puppy dog eyes he sported.

"Fine…I'll wait." He placed the book on the table to look at later.

Dinner came and went. Itachi praised Naruto's cooking more than once. He didn't eat home made food very often. It wasn't that he couldn't cook if he wanted to. He just came home too late, most of the time, to bother with the task. It had always been easier to just pick up something.

A man could easily get used to this.

Now they were just nibbling on the leftover pieces of beef while they talked. Unfortunately Naruto wasn't hearing a word of it. He was too busy thinking of how sinfully good Itachi looked in red. He kept staring at a long pale column thinking of how he'd love to run his tongue down the milky expanse, dipping it in that collarbone that was just slightly hidden by the collar of his shirt, moving it lower past that third....

"Naruto!"

Naruto jumped into awareness. "Huh?"

"You didn't hear a word I just said did you?" Itachi asked with a grin. Naruto looked sheepish, immediately blushing at being found out. So, he tried to cover.

"Sorry, I was thinking I...uh...should've made dessert."

Itachi almost smirked at the spur of the moment excuse. He had already noticed Naruto's eyes roaming over his exposed skin. Ah yes, seduction plan #1 was working like a charm. He shrugged. "Well, there's always pocky."

Naruto laughed.

* * *

The two were sitting on the couch looking through various picture albums and loose pictures. He had Naruto's album on his lap and Naruto had one of his. Two half empty cups of sake sat on the table. Every few minutes they ended up telling the stories behind the pictures.

- Chibi Naruto naked in the bathtub screaming bloody murder at Iruka because he didn't want his picture taken.

- A much younger Itachi in an embarrassing pose in his underwear. Damn his mother.

- Naruto's graduation picture, complete with cap and gown, diploma, and a proud Iruka next to him.

- Itachi smirking next to an annoyed Sasuke at the younger one's 16th birthday party their mother had insisted on having.

- A very hot Naruto in swimming trunks, posing sideways with Gaara, both of them with grins at the camera.

Itachi was itching to take some of those pictures from Naruto's album and never give them back.

"Ok, so which ones do you want in frames?" Naruto figured it was time to get down to business. He had a goal to reach. He didn't know Itachi had his own goal in mind. "How about this one. It's kind of a family pic." He held up a picture of the entire Uchiha family. Itachi remembered that one. It was during one those holiday parties they held a few years ago.

"Alright." He plucked it from Naruto's hands and put it next to him.

And that's how it went for the next hour. Bit by bit they built a small pile of pictures - some smaller, some larger. They put them in frames, talking about anything and everything while they did so. Itachi never would have thought doing something so simple with someone would be so entertaining. Was it just because Naruto was the one here with him?

They had finally gotten through all the books and loose pictures except for one envelope that Itachi left for last. He handed it to Naruto with a grin.

The grin was almost scary and Naruto became a bit wary. "What?"

"Open it."

Naruto raised a brow in Uchiha fashion. "Nothing's going to jump out and bite me, right?" Itachi laughed. Naruto smiled at the deep mellow sound. He would have to get the dark Uchiha to laugh more often. He opened the envelope and pulled out the contents. His eyes went wide in shock as he started flipping through them.

"Where did you get these?"

Itachi smirked. "Kisame took all those pictures at Amaterasu without us knowing it." He saw understanding flicker through the blond's eyes. "I forced him to confess and then I made him give me all the pictures. I went and had some of them blown up." He leaned closer to the wide-eyed blond. "I thought it would be nice to hang a few of them."

Naruto was floored.

Itachi wanted to hang pictures of the two of them? Here? In his condo? If he had needed any more confirmation of Itachi's feelings for him, he had just gotten it. A slow smile stretched across his face.

Itachi saw the smile and in his head he breathed a sigh of relief. He had hoped the blond knew what he was trying to say without words. Naruto would be the _only_ one in his life. He didn't want anyone else. He pulled him closer, lightly fisting his fingers into his shirt and pressed his lips to Naruto's.

Naruto's brain immediately shut down and he melted into the kiss moving his lips against Itachi's.

Itachi took his time, wanting to savor the taste of sake on those luscious lips. His hands crawled down the hard body and pulled Naruto, with no resistance on his part, into his lap while his tongue traced the bottom lip he had wanted to suck earlier.

Naruto moaned and parted his lips, straddling the legs under him and pressed his hands against Itachi's chest feeling the heart pounding under his fingers.

Itachi's tongue wandered a path of it's own around Naruto's mouth, mapping every inch of it, lapping up the sweet taste of sake and a little something extra that was uniquely Naruto. His hands made their own slow journey up jean covered thighs, making a stop at that perfect ass he'd been thinking of all evening long, gripping the cheeks in his hands making the blond jump slightly and move closer.

Both of them gasped as pleasure shot through both their groins from the unexpected collision. Itachi took advantage and pulled him even closer, grinding against him purposely, sliding his fingers under the shirt and gliding the tips up his back.

Naruto arched his back moaning as what seemed like a trail of fire moved up his skin. "Itachi…" he whispered.

Said man was trailing his lips down a tanned column, murmuring as he did so. "You know I'm not letting you leave tonight Naruto."

Naruto opened his eyes shocked at the words that suddenly ignited a fire in him. His hands slid behind the pale neck and found its way into strands of ink…his sign of acquiescence.

Itachi attacked his neck kissing and nibbling on soft flesh, sucking on a pulse point to mark Naruto as his, pulling a wanton moan from the blond's lips. He smirked in satisfaction at the sound. Naruto's eyes slowly closed again as the fingertips moved from back to front, caressing the quivering stomach muscles and moving upwards, grazing over nipples causing Naruto's breath to hitch._  
_

Lips eventually drifted back and this time the mouths fused with greater urgency. Naruto's hands slid up to Itachi's face, both their heads slanting as tongues and teeth clashed. This time Naruto was bolder, plunging his tongue into the heated mouth.

Itachi was slightly surprised at the action and moaned as their tongues danced together to their own passionate beat that somehow harmonized with the music in the background. He pinched the taut nipples making a squeak come from the blond and then slowly raked his nails down the skin feeling Naruto shiver in delight.

Naruto pulled away breathing hard opening his eyes to look at the sexy Uchiha. Itachi opened his dark lust-filled orbs and gazed into the pools of blue.

Suddenly Naruto was in the air. A surprised yell came from him at the change of position. Itachi smirked and practically flew down the hall to his bedroom while Naruto yelled and squirmed in his arms.

"Hey! Put me down!"

Itachi put him down alright.

Naruto was tossed onto the bed with enough force that he bounced on the mattress. That loud mouth was about to say something more until he saw Itachi unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it into a dark corner. Whatever was about to come from his lips was immediately discarded in favor of staring at the pale skin gleaming in the moonlight. He truly was sex incarnate. His mouth went dry as Itachi came closer. His breathing sped up as Itachi crawled onto the bed looking like a sleek animal on the prowl, mattress sinking with each movement until he was looking above him at the face he had seen so much in his dreams.

Itachi looked down on his blonde\, staring into those eyes that were so full of love and desire. He had never felt so much emotion for anyone. Ice King be damned. Work no longer held first place in his life. That position, from this minute on, belonged to this man.

Naruto.

Naruto would be his. Only his. He would never let him go.

He leaned down and brushed their lips together grazing his lips across the cheek to the lonely ear. He blew on it lightly before tracing it with his tongue, hearing Naruto's breath hitch. Then he whispered something so softly, it might have been considered a trick of the wind if one didn't know better.

Naruto gasped, his eyes going wide, liquid filling them before manifesting itself as two tears slipping into his hair. His heart fully blossomed and he couldn't help the emotions that flooded through him at the words. He had always wanted to hear those words from someone. Someone that wasn't family. Wasn't a friend. Someone who meant _everything_.

"_I love you…Naruto."_

For the first time, Naruto relaxed completely in body, mind, heart and soul, submitting himself to the man who had taken his heart.

Itachi licked up the trail of tears before kissing him again briefly. He sat up and watched the blue eyes as he slid his hands under the shirt slowly pushing the material upwards. Naruto leaned up, his arms raised, allowing Itachi to pull the shirt away. The dark eyes looked down at the new skin presented to him. He smiled and glided his hands over sun-kissed flesh. "Beautiful." He murmured.

Even in the darkness, Naruto was sure Itachi could see him turning red. But that was forgotten when those lips descended onto his skin slowly drifting down the heaving chest. Pale lips brushed against a nipple. Naruto gasped. Itachi took the bronzed nipple into his mouth, tongue flicking and swirling around it, making Naruto arch off the bed with a moan. He took his time abusing the nipple with sucks and bites, totally in love with the sexy noises his blond was making.

Naruto was in a daze, completely succumbing to the sensations going through him. Who knew it could be like this? He was so lost he didn't notice as his own hands subconsciously found their way up the smooth back and into strands of hair, finally pulling off the tie so black hair cascaded down past Itachi's shoulders like a waterfall, becoming a curtain that hid them from the rest of the world.

Itachi's mouth moved lower, stopping above the spiral design spreading over the stomach. His finger lightly traced over the intricate designs looking up into hooded blue eyes. "When did you get this?"

Naruto's voice trembled a little as he answered in huskier tones than normal. "In high school. During my rebellious stage."

"Ah..." Itachi smirked. "I like it."

The tip of his tongue traced the same path his fingers took over the ink. Naruto writhed under him as the sensitive skin sent tingling sparks jolting through his body. While the tongue danced, fingers slipped down to unfasten the blue jeans and push them off Naruto's hips. He pulled the jeans off and grinned as he saw the prominent bulge that was straining at the confines of the boxer briefs. Itachi made an executive decision to give Naruto some relief and slowly pulled off the boxers watching the length spring free and stand proudly erect.

Naruto gasped feeling the draft against his heated member, opening his eyes again to look down at Itachi who was staring and licking his lips. Oh god, it only made him shiver in anticipation.

Itachi was completely new at this. Still, he was an Uchiha. A genius. Naturally talented. He would be sure to make his sunshine feel good. Looking straight into those lust-glazed eyes, Itachi slowly licked from base to tip.

Naruto throatily groaned his lover's name and arched off the bed gripping the sheets in his hands. Itachi grabbed those hips and pushed them back to the mattress while his tongue swirled. Naruto threw his head back almost holding his breath.

"Oh no Naruto…this won't do. I want to hear you. I _need_ to hear you." Itachi said while continuing to use his tongue to slowly torture the blonde.

"Oh g-god…p-please…I-Itachi…"

Naruto would have gladly died right then and there as wet heat suddenly engulfed him. Pleasure coursed through his veins and his eyes rolled back in his head. Itachi delighted in hearing the pleasured moans being ripped from those parted lips and watched his lover writhe and tremble beneath him.

Naruto lost all coherence, unable to do anything but moan broken forms of Itachi's name over and over again. He could feel something building and he couldn't stop it. He could hardly take the blissful ache, yet he craved more of it. His eyes squeezed shut while a particularly hard suck elicited a pleasured yell. "Oh god…Ita…please…I need…"

Itachi licked the weeping tip and smirked at the blond. "I know what you need." Naruto suddenly felt the sensation of being swallowed whole and he arched his back screaming as he came, never noticing that Itachi greedily took everything he had to give. Itachi almost groaned as he watched the gorgeous blond panting heavily. He growled as his own need strained against the coarse material, his jeans were too tight. Just seeing Naruto looking so ravaged was driving him wild.

Naruto forced his eyes open slightly when he felt the weight leave the bed. Itachi stood up pushing off the rest of his clothes. Naruto's hooded eyes leisurely traced up the milky white skin. Itachi noticed those smoldering eyes taking him in and he smirked smugly while moving back to his place above Naruto, kneeling between his thighs and spreading them farther apart, a bottle of lube in his hand.

Naruto gazed at the man above him. He may be considered more innocent than most, but he knew enough about gay sex to know what it entailed. Iruka had drilled the particulars of sex with either gender into his head more than once with (shudders) disturbingly clear detail.

Itachi's slick finger leisurely circled the tight ring of muscles. Naruto's body reflexively moved away from the probing digit. Even though he knew details, he still wasn't looking forward to the pain. Dark eyes looked up into worried ones. "Relax." Naruto nodded and tried his best to follow the advice. He started as the finger slipped inside him and he gasped in pain.

"Relax Naruto." Itachi groaned at the tight heat swallowing the solitary digit, his mind flashing ahead to something else filling that hole. Oh, how he wanted the sexy blond. The finger began to move and Naruto's mouth parted as the pain slowly turned to pleasure. When he began to unconsciously move with his finger, Itachi added a second, slowly stretching the tight space. It wasn't long before he was ready for a third. He shoved them deeper. Searching…probing... Suddenly Naruto eyes went wide and he arched off the bed with a needy moan.

Itachi saw the reaction and smirked evilly. "Did you like that Naruto?" He aimed for the same spot again, this time eliciting a whimper from the blond as he squeezed his eyes shut. Itachi plunged the fingers over and over, fast and hard, abusing the soft spot. Naruto screamed in ecstacy…he swore he saw stars. It was… _'too much, too much...oh god.'_

Itachi moaned, lightly grinding his raging hard on against the mattress, trying to find some brief form of relief. It was so erotic watching that muscular body writhing and quivering beneath him. His fingers kept up the sweet torture and Naruto rocked his hips without thought, still clenching his fingers in the sheets, his body aching with the need to explode.

"I-Itachi…please."

"Not yet..."

Itachi slowly pulled the fingers out, moaning as the tight muscles rebelled, wanting to hold onto the digits. He spread a liberal amount of lube over his throbbing member. He had waited for this moment all night. _'Mine…all mine.'_

Naruto panted, his eyes still closed, and his skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat. Itachi thought it just made him look even more enticing. Itachi leaned on his hands and whispered to him. "Naruto…" He waited patiently for Naruto to open his eyes. The moment they opened, he brushed his lips against the blond's while he positioned himself. Their eyes held and Itachi took a deep breath before swiftly burying himself inside the tight heat.

Naruto cried out and dug his fingers into Itachi's shoulders. Itachi didn't even flinch. Actually, he couldn't…if he moved, he wouldn't be able stop. It was almost too much to bear. His love was so tight. A long groan echoed around the room. Neither male was really sure who it came from.

For Naruto, the pain was gradually ebbing, only to be replaced by the indescribable feeling of being completely filled. It was almost overwhelming in intensity. Itachi waited, breathing hard, his limbs trembling imperceptibly from the effort it took to stay in control. His eyes met Naruto's and a silent agreement was made. Itachi pulled out slowly and thrust back in to the hilt. Naruto cried out again, this time in pleasure, clenching his hands into fists at his sides. Itachi slid his hands up the trembling body, moving to the tightly gripped fingers unlocking them one by one until they relaxed and he intertwined them with his own long pale ones.

The pace started slow. Itachi groaned as the muscles reflexively tightened around his hard flesh every time he moved. His eyes slipped closed almost without him knowing it. This was heaven. It had to be. There was nothing else in life or death that could possibly feel this good.

Each thrust pulled loud moans from the man below him. Naruto had a death grip on the fingers as their hips collided. They created the most wonderful friction and it was almost excruciating. A tight coil of pleasure slowly grew tighter and tighter with each and every thrust.

Itachi moaned at the vice like grip those muscles had on him. With a twist of Naruto's hips, every single bit of the famed Uchiha control fled. He growled, releasing the fingers to grab those hips and slammed into him harder, pulling another loud stilted yell from the blond. He found it intoxicating, those sounds.

Itachi pounded into him, stabbing the bundle of nerves relentlessly. Naruto was reduced to broken sobs…yelling and screaming…begging and pleading. It was agony and ecstasy all rolled into one. He could feel the coil ready to snap and he writhed and trembled, unable to hold it back much longer. The pressure was too great and tears escaped the tightly shut lids. He was _so close_.

Breathing heavily against Naruto's neck, Itachi moaned. The blonde's name had become Itachi's new whispered mantra as the walls clamped down around him until he finally lost it, falling apart, the lid over the last of his controlled emotions completely shattering. The pressing need built inside him, making him raise his head to seek out the one and only thing keeping him anchored, even as the waves of pleasure crashed over him. "Naruto…come with me…scream for me…_please_."

One last thrust and the coil snapped for both of them.

Naruto's vision went white as he screamed Itachi's name, an orgasm ripping through him so strong he arched off the bed at an angle that would normally be impossible. Itachi exploded with a yell of his own, his essence filling the blonde while those clenching walls milked him dry.

They collapsed together in a heap of tangled limbs, gasping for air, thoroughly exhausted, not caring that their bodies were slick and messy. Both of them felt complete for the first time in their lives. It felt so damn _good_ buried in that soaking heat, Itachi hated to leave it. He slipped out with a hiss and rolled onto his side, bringing a still trembling Naruto with him. His lips left a light trail of breathy kisses on tanned skin while the fingers calmly trailed up and down the strong back allowing the euphoria they both felt to gradually fade. The moan of complete and utter contentment that came from the blond was music to Itachi's ears and he allowed a slow smirk of satisfaction to grace his features.

Naruto let the calming fingers slowly lull him toward blissful unconsciousness. While he was hovering in that moment between sleep and awareness, a flash of clarity struck him and he was suddenly wide awake. He didn't tell Itachi! His eyes wandered up the peaceful features and his head moved closer brushing those perfect lips with his own.

"Itachi?" he whispered.

"Hmm?" Itachi replied after a moment, close to drifting off himself.

"I love you too."

Itachi smiled.

-

-

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n:** So, there it is…my first lemon. Please review...I'd love some feedback on it. Good? Bad? Ugly? XD I might have to write another one of these one day. I don't know...for some reason it's seems waaaay too fluffy to me, but then this whole story is kinda fluffy so.... -shrugs-

Anyways, finally, they've done the deed! Wait til Sasuke finds out! XD Wait til MIKOTO finds out!!! And I know I said there would be this chapter and then the epilogue but, well, there was still too much that I needed to wrap up. So, because I hate plot holes (and I love Mikoto, Sasuke and Hinata so much) you'll get another one! So one more chapter to go and then the epilogue.


	13. Chapter 13

**a/n: **Sorry for taking so long to upload this one. I caught the flu and my medicine-addled brain couldn't think of anything to write the three days I was off work. Thanks for all of your reviews last chapter. And to all of my anonymous reviewers, all of you are the best. –phew- Now, on to business…

Ok, so I know I said only a couple of more chapters left. However, since so many of you would love for this story to go on (and I've gotten some great ideas along with a few of my own) I'm going to give you a choice. **1. **End it the way I originally planned; **2.** End it the way I planned, then start a sequel; **3. **Continue on without stopping. I know what I would prefer, but I'm not telling. I will make this a poll on my profile. And for my anon readers, just leave your choice in your review.

Just be warned that if your choice is 2 or 3, be prepared for updates to be much slower than they are now. I've completely neglected my other two stories and so I'll have to start splitting my time between the three of them. So after you read this chapter, be sure to visit my profile and let your voice be heard! (hee hee, sounds like a campaign lol)

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 13**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

Itachi groaned at the sound of his phone ringing. He reached out blindly, grasping for the annoying device, finally grabbing it and looking at the number in annoyance before hitting a button.

"What?" he growled.

"Jeez…someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." A smugly amused voice said through the receiver.

"Hn…get to the point before I hang up little brother."

"I just wanted to see how your date went. But it must have gone well since you're still in bed at 10:30 in the morning."

Itachi pulled the phone away from his ear glaring at it hoping it would make his brother disappear. He put it back to his ear.

No such luck.

Itachi was not in the mood to care when he had just been forcibly awakened from the best sleep he's had in ages, with a naked blond sleeping next to him. "Not now Sasuke."

Naruto heard the teme's name and yawned, blearily opened his eyes and slowly blinked the sleep from them. He looked up at the long dark hair and pale back in his vision. "Itachi?" he mumbled, still half asleep.

* * *

On the other end of the line Sasuke almost dropped his phone, eyes as wide as saucers.

Oh

My

God

"Is that…Na-"

"Goodbye Sasuke."

-CLICK-

Sasuke stared at his phone in shock.

He blinked.

He blinked again.

He replayed the conversation in his head just to make sure. That voice he heard...

Naruto...

But that would mean...

This time he did drop his phone, eyes still wide.

He did it. He really did it. It actually happened!

Itachi got laid!!!

Hinata was on her way into the kitchen when she saw Sasuke with his eyes wide and mouth slightly open. "Sasuke?"

She waved her hand in front of the shocked face. Nothing.

"Hey...Sasuke!"

She snapped her fingers. He didn't even blink.

"SASUKE!!!!"

Sasuke finally blinked at the shout of his name. He saw his wife in front of him waving her hand over his face.

"Finally! I've been trying to call you for a good minute. What's wrong?"

Sasuke wasn't really sure he could answer his wife's question yet. He was still in shock. He fell backwards into the chair that, fortunately, was directly in his path.

Hinata, concerned for her husband's health, leaned down in front of him touching his forehead with the back of her hand. She smacked his cheek lightly. "Hey...Sasuke?"

He brushed her hand away glaring. "Stop that." Hinata smiled at the response.

"Ah…there's the Sasuke Uchiha I know and love. Can you tell me what's going on now?"

"I called Itachi..."

"Uh huh?" Hinata rolled her eyes. Pulling teeth...

"I asked about the date."

"Okaaay?"

"Then I heard a voice...that wasn't his."

It was a good thing Hinata was smart enough to connect the dots. She didn't need to continue pumping her practically monosyllabic husband anymore for information. "Naruto's?" Sasuke nodded. Her eyes widened.

"Seriously?!" Sasuke's answer was to raise an eyebrow as if to say 'Would I lie?'

Hinata squealed and clapped. "Oh my god!!! I have to make a call." She left her husband still in a sort of stupor while she ran into her room to call Mikoto Uchiha.

* * *

Itachi tossed the phone on the side table and turned to the blond, who tried to sit up, only to gasp in pain and fall back to the mattress moaning.

Naruto felt the pain shoot up his spine and wondered for a brief second if love was worth it. Ok, fine, it was…but did it really have to hurt like that?

"What did the teme want?" he mumbled.

"Nothing important." Itachi looked at Naruto with concern. He combed his fingers through the tangled blond spikes. "How do you feel?"

"You really want me to answer that question?" Naruto sighed, but still smiled.

"Hn." Itachi leaned forward and kissed him then got up and stretched. He did a quick search for his boxers. Upon finding them on the other side of the room, he walked over and picked them up, putting them on.

Naruto watched every single fluidly graceful move he made. He couldn't help staring at the naked body. Goodness, the Uchiha genes really were perfect. He smirked possessively. _'And that gorgeous body is all mine!' _Itachi suddenly turned, catching him looking. Naruto gasped and looked away with a blush.

He chuckled and walked back toward the bed. "See something you like Naruto?" Naruto turned a darker shade. Itachi smirked and leaned over the blond, brushing his lips against his ear as he whispered, "I love it when you blush." He got back up and walked to the door. "I'll be right back."

Naruto groaned as he rolled to a more comfortable position. How did he end up in so much pain? He reviewed the last twelve hours or so. The first time was amazing…his dreams couldn't even begin to compare. At some point they woke up and began anew. That time Itachi had him on his hands and knees. He had a sneaky suspicion that the Uchiha was a bit obsessed with his backside. The next time, Itachi was on his back while he rode him. That was when he finally got the chance to do exactly what he had been wishing to all evening…to lick his way up that milky white skin.

He grinned. That third experience was quite empowering.

Who knew Itachi Uchiha could be made to beg? And moan? Even scream?

Naruto figured to be the only one who would ever have the privilege to know.

Of course, before the night was done, Itachi took the opportunity to make sure Naruto would never, ever reveal that secret to a soul. Maybe that last time was the kicker.

Itachi went first to the kitchen sink to get a glass of water, then on to the bathroom where he got 2 aspirin. Looking in the mirror, he grimaced at the mess reflecting back at him. They definitely needed a bath. Afterward, he would have to figure out how to avert a potential disaster.

He knew Sasuke heard his best friend. It would be easy for him to put two and two together.

And Sasuke would definitely tell Hinata.

And if Hinata knew, it wouldn't be long before his mother knew…probably father too. And that was where the problem lay. He sighed and ran his fingers through his messy tangled hair. He did not want to deal with his father. Naruto was scrutinized enough the first time the two met. He didn't want him subjected to anymore of it. It took the so-called boyfriend misunderstanding to take the chill off his father. After that, they got along fine. But that was sure to change the moment he heard about this.

He walked back into the bedroom after running the bath water. The object of his thoughts was relaxing with his eyes closed. He grazed a finger over the tanned arm. "Naruto?"

He opened his eyes. Itachi handed him the pills and the water. Naruto smiled gratefully, taking the painkillers, hoping they would kick in soon.

"I think we could both use a bath."

"A bath would be awesome."

* * *

Fugaku Uchiha was an uncomplicated man.

He was a businessman, a husband, and a father. He spent his life building Uchiha Enterprises from the ground up to make it what it is today. He also lived to make his wife and children happy and did whatever was in the best interests of his family. Those were the things most important to him. If anything or anyone got in the way of that, Fugaku made sure to take care of it.

Fugaku Uchiha was not the most emotional man either.

He was like his father, who was like his father…and so on. He was not the type of husband who spontaneously bought flowers for his wife or said 'I love you' all the time. He was not the father who played games with his sons or laughed and smiled at their antics. It wasn't his way. He showed his love by providing for them all, by training his sons in the way of business. There was a certain little smile he gave his wife. He showed his boys how proud he was of them by giving them the reigns of Uchiha Enterprises. It was the best he could give.

But if anyone could see into his mind, they'd see how much he loved his wife; they'd see how proud he was of his two sons. He kept tabs on their performance and looked at the profits. Both ran the business in their own distinct ways, yet they did it well – in many ways, better than he did. Sasuke made him even prouder by marrying a very level headed Hyuuga, who turned out to be a perfect wife for his broody son. He didn't doubt that there would be children in their future.

Now he only needed to see his oldest take the same initiative. Itachi was his firstborn, his first pride and joy. Yet, he was the one who frustrated him the most. He was a genius, graduated first in his class all through every form of schooling. He did whatever it took to keep the business running smoothly. He went after what he wanted with a tenacity he didn't see in many people. But for some reason, he doesn't apply that same attitude toward finding a wife. He puts up roadblocks at every turn. And for the life of him, he couldn't understand why Itachi had to be so damn difficult. So many eligible women with the right connections were practically throwing themselves at him. Why couldn't he at least give them a chance instead of shooting them down?

-SQUEAL!!!!!!-

'_What the…'_ Fugaku ran from his office to the kitchen, afraid something was wrong. He expected a spider, or god forbid, his wife on the table avoiding a mouse. What he did not expect was Mikoto on the phone looking absolutely giddy, with what seemed like giant hearts in her eyes and a huge grin on her face. He stared for a moment at the sight before shaking his head and walking out. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Are you serious? Really?" Mikoto wanted to jump up and down in joy.

"Yes…your son dropped the phone in shock." Hinata giggled on the other end.

"OH MY GOD!!! I just _knew_ my baby would finally find someone."

Fugaku listened half-heartedly. Wait…her baby? Itachi? He found someone?

"In my heart I just knew it would be him."

He stopped in his tracks. Him? Itachi and a 'him'? He pivoted on his foot and walked with renewed purpose back to the kitchen and stood in the doorway, glaring at his wife until she looked at him.

Mikoto smiled at him and waved.

God…why did he marry that crazy woman again? Oh yes, that love thing. Bothersome emotional business. He put his hands out as if to say 'What?' "Who are you talking about?" he mouthed.

She waved him away. "I'll tell you later." She told him silently.

He shook his head and glared. He would get down to the bottom of this right now.

She glared back.

He raised a brow.

She rolled her eyes. "Hinata, I'll call you back later ok. Bye sweetie." She hung up and then placed her hands on her hips. "You know, you could have waited dear."

"No, this couldn't wait. What is this about Itachi finding someone?"

"Oh honey, isn't it wonderful?! FINALLY Itachi is in love! I've been waiting to hear those words forever!"

"He's in love with a man." Fugaku wasn't seeing how that news could be considered wonderful. He was already visualizing the potential backlash from the news.

"So?"

"Mikoto…don't you understand what this means?"

Mikoto glared at her husband with her hands on her hips. "Yes. I know exactly what this means. My baby is in love. He's happy. That is all that's important."

Normally, Fugaku would decide not to risk his health when Mikoto got that look, but he refused to let this go.

"You know as well as I do that the Uchiha name is just as important. I think it's time we visited Itachi."

Mikoto's eyes turned ice cold. "You will not try to intimidate my son just because of his preference."

"The hell I won't." he mumbled so she couldn't hear. He almost hated to deceive Mikoto, but he knew of a way to make her go along with his plans. "How long has it been since we've been to his place?"

Mikoto stopped her planned retort to think. "Hmm…I don't know. In fact, have we ever been to his place?" Mikoto wondered, tapping her finger against her chin. "I don't think we have. Oh my, we should surprise him with some lunch!"

'_Yes!'_ That was exactly what Fugaku was hoping she would say.

"Yes…we should."

* * *

Naruto and Itachi had finally left the bathtub behind. Naruto felt 100 percent better now. The bath had soothed those aching muscles he didn't even know he had until after last night. And Itachi, being the closet pervert he was, couldn't keep his hands off of him, even in the tub. Although he really couldn't complain about the "How Many Ways to Make Naruto Come Using His Fingers" game Itachi made up.

Something hitting him in the face shocked him away from his thoughts. He pulled the cloth away noticing it was his shirt. He looked over at the smirking Uchiha.

"Hey!" He yelled with a grin.

"Better get dressed. We have damage control to do."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Naruto pulled his shirt over his head.

"Sasuke heard you over the phone." Naruto's eyes widened. "And he'll tell Hinata, who will immediately call my mother."

Naruto had visions of Mikoto Uchiha as a squealing fangirl and shivered. "Oh."

"Yes…actually I'm surprised she hasn't called me yet. That makes me worry. For all I know, she could be either calling everyone she knows or she could be on her way here now with Father in tow."

Itachi didn't know how right he was.

* * *

Fugaku was trying hard to ignore his gushing wife. She'd been at it non-stop since she'd gotten off the phone. And right now he had no way out, unless he wanted to open the door and jump out of the moving limo. So he read his paper and tried to tune out the happy squeals.

"Fugaku dear, are you listening to me?"

'_Uh oh.'_ "Of course I am."

"Really..." There was a distinct twinkle in her eye and Fugaku knew he was in trouble. "What did I just say?"

His stoic face belied the deer-in-the-headlights feeling he had. "...Something about Itachi."

"Uh huh...you weren't listening to me at all."

Fugaku wracked his brain trying to figure out how to get out of this mess he'd gotten himself into. "I was just thinking about Itachi and whoever this mystery person is."

"Ah." Mikoto decided to let it go since she hadn't exactly mentioned who the mystery person was. It's probably better that Fugaku finds out when he gets there. At least then she and Itachi could calm him down together - well, at least, she hoped. So, she put on a smile and moved on to other topics.

"So, what should we get for lunch?"

* * *

"You know, we never did decide which pictures from Amaterasu to frame."

Itachi, who was sitting on the couch, held up one of the pictures, waving it teasingly at his new boyfriend who was eating an apple. Naruto grinned.

"Well, for some reason, we got sidetracked." He shrugged. "Besides, it's your place, your decision."

"Hn...Not exactly." Itachi took the spare key that Naruto left on the table last night and tossed it to him. Naruto caught it, eyes wide. "Consider it your place now too."

"Itachi..." A slow smile made its way onto the blond's face.

Itachi looked back down at the stack of pictures going through them one by one. "I know you have your own place, but you can come here whenever you want."

Naruto grinned and wrapped his arms around Itachi from behind. A ring tone interrupted their moment. A very distinctive ring tone.

Naruto jumped up. "Ah crap, that's dad." He ran to the bedroom and grabbed his phone. "Hello?"

"Naruto? I've been trying to call you all morning!"

"Huh? Why didn't you just call my cell phone earlier?" He took another bite of his apple.

"Why would I do that when you never leave the house before at least 1 on a Sunday? I was so worried I called Sasuke."

Naruto choked on the apple.

"Uh…what did he say?"

"He said to try your cell phone. And something about you having a date?" Naruto could hear the 'you better tell me details' threat in that statement. He was hoping he wouldn't have to talk about it yet. So much for that.

"Yeah...I did."

"Why didn't you tell me? I'd have wished you luck."

"Well...I was kinda busy at work and...you know..."

"You know you're a terrible liar." Iruka chuckled. He might have laughed harder had he been able to see Naruto sitting on the bed with his head down like a chastised child.

"Sorry dad."

"Am I giving you guilt trips again?"

"Yes...you are."

"Good. So are you going to tell me about this mystery date? Or should I just assume that it's Itachi Uchiha?"

Naruto groaned. It seems there was no fooling Iruka. "You assume correctly."

"Ah, well it must have gone well. You obviously slept like a rock since you never heard the phone ring."

Naruto wanted to lie…he really did. Unfortunately, as was previously brought out by his guardian, he'd never been a good liar. "Well, see, the thing is, I couldn't hear the phone because I wasn't exactly at home."

"Ah. That explains it."

Pause.

Ok, Naruto knew his guardian was waiting for an explanation. Knowing him, he probably already had an idea. He flopped back on the bed and sighed. He knew he'd have to tell his guardian eventually. He was just hoping not to have to bring this relationship thing up for at least a few days...at least until he figured out how to tell him. Especially since he had a tendency to go all over-concerned parent on him. However, it seemed hope and time wasn't on his side.

"Well, you see...I kind of...stayed with Itachi." Naruto immediately removed the phone from his ear.

"YOU WHAT?! NARUTO!" Yep, right in time to save his eardrums.

"Dad, please let's not go through the Iruka Rules of Dating again. Not today." Actually, not ever again would be nice. It was embarrassingly old fashioned.

"But…it was a first date! You didn't do anything, right?" Naruto covered his eyes with the palm of his hand and shook his head.

"Dad! I'm not going to answer that!"

"Well, you kind of don't have to now."

Pause.

"Naruto, are you sure about this?"

Naruto fingered the new key he had just received in his hand. "I love him. He loves me. Yes, I'm sure." He heard a sigh.

"Well then, I guess since I can't in good conscience change your mind, there isn't much else I can say except I'm happy for you."

"Really?"

"Naruto, as long as he makes you happy and he loves you, I have no problem with Itachi. I would've preferred you not get so close on a first date but..." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Actually, it was the second date. And dad, don't worry so much. I'm 27 years old. I think I can handle it." His guardian was such a worrywart.

"You know no matter how old you are, you'll always be my little Naruto. I'll always worry about you. I'm just happy that you're happy."

"Thanks dad." Naruto smiled.

"If he hurts you, I'll kill him. I mean it. Seriously."

Naruto chuckled. "I know. I'll give you free reign to do it."

"I guess I'll let you go then."

"Alright dad. I'll call you in a couple of days."

"Looking forward to it. Bye Naruto."

Phew...that wasn't as bad as it could've been.

* * *

Within a minute of Naruto leaving the room to talk to Iruka, there was a knock at the door. Itachi didn't even bother looking through the peephole. He already knew who would be standing there.

"Mother, Father. What a surprise." There was no missing the sarcasm in his voice. Mikoto completely missed it or ignored it. He wasn't sure which.

"Itachi dear!" He was pulled into a tight hug. "I heard the news!"

"Yes, I'm sure you did." He looked behind his happy mother to his not-so-happy father. "Father."

"Itachi." Fugaku, stone faced, gave his son a nod as he walked in.

"We thought we'd surprise you with lunch." Mikoto smiled and held up a bag.

"Oh, you shouldn't have." _'Really.'_ Itachi loved them, but he could've done without seeing either of them today of all days.

"Hey Itachi, I ha-" Naruto stopped when he saw the room was a whole lot more occupied than it was previously. Maybe he should've stayed in the room. "Uh...hello..."

"Naruto, I'm so happy to see you." Mikoto said, all the while giving him a crushing hug.

"Mikoto...can't...breathe..." The moment she let go, Naruto took a moment to catch his breath.

"Hello Mr. Uchiha." Naruto smiled nervously. Mikoto he didn't mind so much. Fugaku on the other hand already didn't look too happy to see him.

Fugaku gave the blond a nod in greeting.

And then there was silence.

"Uh…so, what's in the bag?" Naruto figured someone had to break it...might as well be him.

"Oh, I thought we'd come by and bring lunch." Mikoto smiled. Naruto looked at Itachi and saw that he and his father were in their own staring match. Alrighty then...guess he'd be playing host for a while.

"Great! Here, why don't I take this in the kitchen." Naruto took the bag and Mikoto followed him to the kitchen.

Unfortunately, that left the two male Uchihas alone.

"Itachi."

"Yes father?"

"May I talk with you privately?"

Itachi nodded and he turned and walked away, leading his father into his office. He didn't bother asking a reason. He already knew the answer to that. Fugaku closed the door behind him and leaned against it, crossing his arms and looking at his oldest son. Itachi leaned against his desk, completely unintimidated by him. The battle lines had been drawn. He knew it would come to this and he would fight for Naruto if he had to.

"You wanted to talk?"

Fugaku sighed. "Itachi, I know we've put a lot of pressure on you to get married and have children. But we just wanted what was best for you."

"No, you wanted me to go to whatever female, with the best pedigree, was the highest bidder. I'm not going to be your pawn like Sasuke was."

"It worked out just fine for him."

"Yes, it did. But I'm not Sasuke." Itachi crossed his arms over his chest. Fugaku raised a brow.

"So this is just your way of rebelling. Is that it?" Itachi glared. How dare he.

"Don't cheapen my relationship with Naruto by calling it something so trivial." Fugaku stared incredulously.

"You can't tell me you're in love with him. You've only known him for what? A week?"

"I do love him. And if you want to get technical, I've known him my entire life. But that's beside the point. If I had committed to one of those spoiled princesses you threw at me after a week you'd be just fine with it."

Fugaku's eyes narrowed. Damn, Itachi had hit the nail right on the head. "He's a male! What do you expect me to say?"

"I really don't expect you to say anything. I just want you to be happy for me."

"No Itachi, I won't allow it. You should know what this could potentially do to the Uchiha name." Itachi now raised a brow.

"Well at least now I know what's more important to you. Glad to know I, as your son, rate so high on your priority list."

"Son, you know how I feel about you, but Uchiha Enterprises is just as important. Your face is practically the face of the business world. You would be naive to think our business would not be affected by your personal choices."

Itachi's hands were digging into the edge of his desk. "So in other words you want me to do what's best for the Uchiha name and not what's best for me. Are you planning to hang Uchiha Enterprises over my head as bait to make me get rid of Naruto? It won't work."

"Itachi, be reasonable. Can you really see a future with him? There will be no children or grandchildren..."

"You seem to care about that more than I do. Sasuke can give you as many heirs as you want. If Naruto and I ever wanted children there are ways to go about it." Itachi sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He had grown tired of arguing. "Look father, you won't change my mind. I've lived, breathed and bled this business almost since birth. It's about time I did something for myself. Now, you can accept the choice I make. Or you can choose not to, but don't expect me to abide by it. And don't expect mother or Sasuke to be happy with the decision either."

Fugaku's eyes narrowed to slits. "What does Sasuke have to do with this?"

Itachi smirked. "Oh, you didn't know? He was the one who set us up."

* * *

Naruto sat at the table twisting his fingers together nervously. He couldn't hear anything beyond murmurs through the thick walls, but it didn't take much to know the main topic of their conversation was him. He sighed and closed his eyes. Seconds later he felt a soft hand on top of his fingers.

"Don't worry dear. Things will be fine." Mikoto took his hand and held it in hers.

Naruto opened his eyes and looked at her. He wasn't so sure. "I just feel like I'm making things difficult for him."

"Itachi loves you. I see it in his eyes. I saw it last week at dinner, even though neither of you knew it. I see it even more clearly now. He won't allow his father to sway him from what he wants. And what he wants is you."

"But Mr. Uch-"

"Fugaku's just being a conceited ass." Naruto's eyes went wide at her language. Mikoto laughed. "Seriously! He lets his pride of the Uchiha name blind him to what's important sometimes. Besides, you're his best friend's son. He likes you. It's impossible not to like you. It's just that he's always had his own vision of what his sons' lives would be like. But, it didn't exactly include his firstborn falling in love with a man. It will take time for him to accept that things don't always go exactly as planned. Especially since, so far, all of his expectations concerning both of them have been met or even exceeded."

Mikoto smiled and squeezed Naruto's hand. Naruto couldn't help but smile back. At least she was happy about the two of them.

"So, it looks like you two were getting ready to hang some pictures. How about I help you with that."

Naruto grinned at Mikoto and got up, grabbing the hammer and nails. He pointed to the framed pictures. "Just start handing them to me one by one, whichever ones you think would look best." She nodded. "Oh but first, we need music." He took the remote and turned on the stereo. The same jazz as last night played softly. He grinned and took the hammer and started pounding. Mikoto happily handed him pictures to hang, commenting on the ones she remembered and telling little stories of her two boys when they were younger. Naruto laughed at the stories and relaxed a bit more. It was the perfect way to avoid thinking about what was going on right down the hall.

* * *

Fugaku crossed his arms and glared at his son. "What are you talking about?"

"I met Naruto through Sasuke. He convinced Naruto to invite me to the club. He had me come to his building after work on the pretense of going over some new clients, knowing he wasn't going to be there. Naruto was at work late that night. It led to our first date. I didn't even know Sasuke orchestrated any of this until that night. For whatever reason, he wanted to try to get us together. And I'm happy he did."

Fugaku sighed. Dealing with Itachi alone was difficult enough. But to deal with both sons AND his wife? Especially Mikoto. He'd be in the doghouse until the day he died. He finally sat down. This was a battle he knew he wouldn't be able to win. Besides, Minato would probably come back and haunt him if he forced the two apart. He looked up at his son who was still looking quite tense.

"Relax, Itachi. It takes too much out of me to argue with you for long. You know that." Itachi took a deep breath and let it out, then took a seat across from his father.

Fugaku let out a chuckle. "Damn Namikazes! They always have to put monkey wrenches in my plans."

They both heard pounding along with muffled music and laughter. Itachi inwardly smiled. Naruto and mother must be hanging pictures. At least they would have no problem getting along. Now if only his father...

Fugaku sighed. "He reminds me so much of Minato, it's scary. You couldn't help but like him. He had that infectious smile and made people around him smile with him. It's funny, when Mikoto and Kushina were pregnant together, we had said that one of his children would marry one of mine when they grew up. Of course, at the time we had both planned on having more children. In the end, I had you two, and Minato and Kushina died before they could have more than one."

Itachi smiled slightly and finally relaxed.

And then Fugaku had a thought. A grin lit up his usually stoic face. "Heh, Jiraiya and Tsunade are going to have a fit." Served them right.

* * *

So, in the end, lunch went fine, Fugaku relented, Itachi got his man, Mikoto was happy, and Naruto breathed a sigh of relief.

Now it was late in the evening and after grabbing a quick dinner from a quaint little place a block away, Naruto was perfectly content lying on the couch with his head in Itachi's lap. Music softly played and the only glow of light came from the kitchen. The long fingers were slowly running through his untamed locks and Naruto found that it was quickly becoming one of his favorite things for Itachi to do. It relaxed him completely. If he was a cat, he'd be purring right now.

"Well, it wasn't a complete disaster."

Itachi had been leaning his head back against the top of the couch letting his thoughts wander. Now he lifted his head and looked down at his favorite obsession and a hint of a smile came to his face.

"Hn."

"I mean, it could've been worse I guess. Hey," Naruto opened his eyes and rolled on his back so he could look up into Itachi's eyes, "what did your father say to you anyway?"

"Not telling."

"Aw, come on."

Itachi chuckled. "Hmm, he raved about how wonderful you are. That you'd be the perfect son-in-law."

"Liar! You're not going to tell me are you?"

Itachi shook his head. "It's not worth reliving again. Suffice to say it was a war of words, I won, and father left me alone." Naruto nodded. He wondered what it was like to be stuck in a room with two such intimidating people. He had nearly seen icicles coming off of Itachi and Fugaku when he came into the room after talking to Iruka.

"So, I guess you're staying tonight?" Itachi's voice broke into Naruto's thoughts. He nodded.

"If you don't mind. I'm too lazy to go home now. I've got a change of clothes at work. I'll just wear that." Itachi leaned down and kissed him.

"You know I don't mind." Suddenly Itachi grinned.

"What?"

"Speaking of work. I think it's high time I told you something about your best friend."

"What about the teme?"

"He planned all of this you know."

"Huh? Planned what?" Naruto sat up and leaned his head to the side looking slightly confused.

"Everything. He wanted to hook us up."

"You're kidding." Itachi shook his head.

"I didn't know until that night I came to your office. But think back to after we first met. If you think about it, you could've invited anyone to go to Amaterasu, but who did Sasuke suggest?"

"You."

"And there are very few people who have enough influence to get a picture put in the newspaper the very next morning after a late night. And it's sure not Kisame."

Naruto was starting to see what Itachi meant. "That teme..."

"Oh and the family dinner. I'm starting to believe that trip wasn't an accident."

"But, Hinata wouldn't do that on purpose!"

"I thought that myself for the longest time, but the more I think about it, the more I am inclined to believe she was working with Sasuke. And then there was the day your father and brother were here. He invited you over to the house without telling you I was there and without telling me you were bringing another guy. I ended up spending half the afternoon jealous of your brother, you know."

Naruto laughed. "Seriously?" Itachi nodded.

"And lets not forget the night of our first date."

"The night he went out with Hinata?"

"There was no concert that night."

"What?"

"I checked. The Tokyo Opera House, which is where he supposedly went, is never open on Mondays."

"No way!" Naruto's mouth dropped open. "I didn't think he had it in him. He completely tricked me."

"And he pulled it off without me being suspicious at all until the end. I have to hand it to my little brother. He did well. And one day I'll thank him for it. However, I plan to make his life miserable, at least for a while. I already have him squirming because he knows that I know, but he has no idea what I'll do."

"So you have an idea?" Naruto sure wouldn't want to be on Itachi's bad side.

"I do...but it will take some planning. You'll know when it happens."

Naruto had started to do some thinking himself. "You know, it's been a long time since I've done a good prank." Naruto was already running through scenarios in his head. He'd never directly attacked Sasuke with a prank before. Suddenly a grin slid onto his face. "I think I'm going have to get to work early. The teme's going down!"

Naruto wasn't known as "The Prankster of Konoha" for nothing.

--

--

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n:** Wellll...Sasuke just got the shock of his life. Word spread like a wildfire didn't it? Even Iruka found out. And I don't know how it happened, but I made Itachi and Fugaku get all confrontational. It was fun though. And don't you just love Mikoto, she's like the awesomest mother-in-law! XD And poor Sasuke's going to be pranked sooooooo bad by two people. I'd hate to be him right now. Well, please review. If you have any good ideas for pranks (yes there will be two separate ones - 1 for Naruto and 1 for Itachi) let me know. And make sure to vote on the poll in my profile.

Also, did you know there's a fanfic of the month forum? We're trying to get more people into this, so go check my profile and vote for your favorite stories for fanfic of the month. This month it's Drama fics.


	14. Chapter 14

**a/n: **Well the votes have spoken! That means this is it, the final chapter, aka the epilogue. Thank you so much for your reviews. I never could have done this story without your input. Wow, my first finished multi-chapter story! I feel so proud! I hope you enjoy the pranking. I had fun writing it. Well, I think I've said enough. On with the show!

**Summary:** Itachi Uchiha shot down every attempt at a date, male or female. All of his friends and family gave up hope except his brother. Sasuke made it his personal mission to make sure Itachi got laid and he knew just how to do it. Enter Naruto Uzumaki...

**Warnings:** AU, Ita/Naru, Sasu/Hina

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

**The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**

**Chapter 14 - Epilogue**

--

**Thoughts:** _'blah blah'_

**Speaking:** "blah blah"

--

The elevator opened and out stepped Sasuke Uchiha. The receptionist gave him a smile and a wave and he nodded before walking towards his office. He passed his best friend's office and smirked. Now that the shock had finally worn off he couldn't wait to tease the dobe about his weekend.

He unlocked the door of his office and settled in for a new work week. He hung up his coat and sat down at his desk. He better see what appointments he had for the day. He looked around a bit. Where was his appointment book? He looked through his drawers, on the floor, in his briefcase. Hm…strange…maybe Ino had it. He'd ask her when she got here. Going through his blackberry he looked at his calendar. Unfortunately he didn't put all of his appointments in there. It was easier to leave some things in his book, which of course, he couldn't find.

Great.

Instead, he decided to check his email. He turned on his computer and got up to make some coffee. He'd learned his lesson after Naruto's coffee prank. He had his own coffee maker now and bought coffee grounds for himself. After measuring out his level scoops in the filter, he grabbed the pitcher and filled it with water and poured it in, leaving it to do it's brewing.

Walking back to his computer he stopped and stared at the screen.

Sasuke cursed loudly.

It was the last thing anyone who had a computer ever wanted to see. Especially when everything important was saved on that computer.

The dreaded blue screen of death.

Sasuke scrambled to unplug the computer. He prayed to every god he could think of before he plugged it back in. He heard the fan starting up again and hoped that things would go back to normal. The monitor went from dark screen to blue.

"No…" Sasuke moaned and laid his forehead against the desk. This was the last thing he needed…not now. He had all kinds of things on there he very badly needed. He scrambled to call the technology department. The phone just rang and rang. He growled and slammed the phone down. Why couldn't everyone else come into the office the same time he did?

Coffee…he needed coffee.

He poured the dark liquid into his oversized ceramic cup. Maybe once he had his cup, he could think rationally about this. Before he could take a sip, his cell phone rang. The number wasn't familiar.

"Hello?"

"Hi. This is Kagome. I'm calling about your ad. I'm willing to do anything…and I mean _anything _you want."

_'What the hell?'_ "What are you talking about?" Sasuke was completely confused.

"You said you wanted a girl who was willing to do all the naughty things your wife won't do for you. I'm your girl!"

_'What the...'_ "Look, I don't know what you're talking about. You must have the wrong number." He hung up with a scowl. Didn't these people know he was in the middle of a crisis? He didn't have time for wrong numbers.

Finally, he took a long drink of coffee.

And immediately spit it back out all over his desk. "What the hell is this crap?" he yelled. It tasted like dirt. He growled and went into the restroom and poured his coffee down the drain.

He came back out and wiped off his desk then went to the coffee maker. He looked into his container of coffee grounds and shook it, examining it. It looked normal enough… He poured some in his hand and rubbed it with his finger. What in the world? It was coffee grounds mixed with dirt. He glared down at the unbelievable mix. Only one person could have done this.

"Naruto…" he growled. He opened his office door with the intent of going to Naruto's office to give him hell, but was met by Ino.

"Good morning Mr. Uchiha." She smiled widely, batting her eyelashes.

Sasuke groaned. He thought after last week, she'd gotten the message. He looked over her outfit. What in the world was she wearing?

"I'm so happy you finally decided to take me up on my offer." She stood in the doorway one hand on her hip, the other against the door. Her red dress was so tight it had to have been painted on.

"What offer?" Sasuke knew it was Monday but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what was with everyone today.

"Oh don't act like you don't remember Mr. Uchiha." She smiled and walked toward him seductively. Sasuke glared at her. Her finger reached out to run down his clothed chest. He grabbed her finger before she could make good on her intentions. Unfortunately, he didn't get the reaction he was hoping for.

She giggled.

"Oh Mr. Uchiha, you're such a tease. The note is right here. I know exactly what you want." She waved the yellow post it note at him. He grabbed it and looked at what was written. His eyes narrowed and he crushed the paper in his hand.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't write this. I thought I made it clear last week what I thought of you."

"But this is your handwriting…"

"Correction, this is my forged handwriting. I didn't write this. I would never write anything remotely like this." Before he could say more his phone rang. He was hoping it was Naruto so he could give him a piece of his mind. Unfortunately, it was another unfamiliar number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, my name is Misa. I'll be happy to show you what you've been missing."

Oh for crying out loud.

-Click-

Why was Ino still standing here? "Go away Ino. I don't have time for this today."

Ino pouted prettily but slowly moved towards the door.

"Oh, and I need my planner."

"I don't have your planner. You always keep it."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. I remember very well writing an appointment in there for next week and leaving it on your desk before I went home Friday."

Sasuke was slowly developing a headache.

"Ok, fine. Just go. Let me know when Naruto gets in."

Ino sighed in disappointment. "Yes Mr. Uchiha." She closed the door behind her.

Sasuke was fuming. He was starting to get the feeling that Naruto was behind everything happening this morning. Why he had decided to make today prank day, he didn't know. Unless…

He paled.

Unless he knew. He sighed and sat down in his chair. It made perfect sense. Itachi must have told him.

His phone rang again. This time he didn't bother picking it up.

He now knew this was going to be the worst day he's had in a long time.

* * *

Naruto whistled as he walked back to work. He was about to walk in an hour late. Although by now, that was probably the least of Sasuke's worries.

He came in at 5 a.m. He had to get up at 4 a.m. just to make sure he could get there on time from Itachi's house. When he revealed his plan to Itachi the night before, his boyfriend had laughed evilly and promised to get him up on time. He was true to his word even though Naruto had grumbled the entire time. He was happy though, because this was going to be the best prank since he spray painted the entire property of his old school back in Konoha.

He sipped on his latte. Sasuke would die when he found out his favorite coffee had been compromised. He laughed at the thought. And wait until he turned his computer on. Sasuke would lose it when he saw that his hard drive was shot. Well, not really shot…his hard drive was safely in Naruto's office. But Sasuke didn't know that.

He wondered if Ino was there trying to seduce Sasuke right now. Oh god, if only he could have filmed this. He knew Ino was crazy about his friend. She bothered him almost every day. But now that she had "written permission" oh boy!

And that ad…that was pure genius! He came up with that this morning on the way to work. He went right onto the internet as soon as he got to work and placed the sexy ad. He wondered how many calls the teme had gotten so far.

He stepped on the elevator. He couldn't wait to see the teme's face.

He walked toward his office still whistling. He waved at every person he passed. Finally getting to his door, he unlocked it and went inside.

"NARUTOOOOO!!!!!!"

Naruto snickered at the sound. It was the sound of anger, annoyance, and pain all wrapped into one. He waited and sipped on his coffee. He knew the teme would be in there any minute. And he couldn't wait.

The door opened and slammed all in one motion.

Sasuke stood at the door glaring, his hands were red like he'd been sitting them in dye.

"Well, good morning teme. Nice to see you looking so cheery this morning."

"Shut it Uzumaki." He growled and went into Naruto's restroom. Naruto snickered as he heard mumbling over the running water.

Sasuke scrubbed his hands like his life depended on it but the red, although faded, would not leave completely. "Naruto! What the hell did you put in my soap?!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Naruto put on an innocent smile. Oh god, it was so hard not to laugh.

"Don't give me that." Sasuke came back out wiping his wet hands with a towel. "Look at my hands!"

"Yes, I can see they're very red."

Sasuke sighed and ran his red hand through his black hair in frustration. "Look, I get it. I know you're getting me back."

"What could I possibly be getting you back for?" Naruto raised a brow and then sipped on his coffee.

"Fine, I confess, I set you two up from day one. I just wanted you both to be happy. Now could you stop with the pranks? _Please?_"

Naruto grinned widely. "Have a seat teme, you look a little stressed."

Sasuke sat down in front of him rubbing his temples. He growled and looked up. "Of course I look stressed." He tossed Naruto his phone. "Look at this."

Naruto almost fell off his chair laughing. 125 unanswered phone calls.

"This isn't funny Naruto."

"Playing with people's lives isn't either."

"I'm sorry alright! Just undo whatever it is you did. _Please._ I can't even call out with all these calls coming in."

"Ok teme, but only because you asked nicely." He went to the website and deleted the ad. "Done."

"Naruto?"

"Yes?"

"Please, _please _tell me you did something to my computer. Because I don't know what I'll do if my hard drive is gone."

"Ahem." Sasuke looked up. Naruto held a hard drive in his hand with a grin. "Here. Just unplug the other hard drive and pull it out and replace it with this one."

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief. _'Thank god.'_ "Oh and could you please do something about Ino?" Sasuke was wondering when was the last time he had used the word 'please' so often.

Naruto chuckled. "So, what did she do?"

"You don't want to know dobe." Sasuke got up to go back to his office.

"Hey teme?" Sasuke turned just in time to see a book flying through the air towards him and caught it. He looked at it and noticed that it was his planner. He shook his head and left.

Naruto sighed and smiled. God, that was so worth getting up early for. He'd have to call Itachi later and tell him what happened. He wondered if he could get Itachi to use his executive authority to get the security camera video. That would be awesome.

"And where were you?"

"Huh?" He looked up at Ino standing in the doorway. His eyes went wide at the sight of her in the extremely tight red dress that left nothing to the imagination. It took all his self control to not laugh. He could just imagine what Sasuke had to deal with.

"Ino…what are you wearing?"

"Forget what I'm wearing. Where were you yesterday?"

"Yesterday?" It took a few minutes for it to register what she was talking about. "Oh…that! Oh man Ino, I'm sorry, I had something to do yesterday and your party completely slipped my mind. So, how was it?"

"What?"

"The party."

"Oh...I uh..." Ino looked away from his eyes. "It was alright."

"Just alright? Who was there?"

"Oh...just a few friends..."

For some reason, Naruto was feeling a niggling of suspicion. And he was never one to ignore his senses. "Ino...was there really a party last night?"

Ino didn't answer verbally. But she didn't have to. It was written all over her face. Jeez, at times he even amazed himself at how dense he could be.

"What the...? You were just trying to get me there alone weren't you?"

"Uh…I don't know what you mean…"

"God Ino, are you that desperate? You couldn't get Sasuke, so you tried to get into my pants instead?" He stared incredulously.

Ino tried to look innocent. "No, it wasn't like that! I just wanted to get to know you better that's all." Naruto just stared at her knowing she'd cave eventually. Ino looked anywhere but into those baby blues that made her feel just a tad bit guilty. "Alright alright fine! I was trying to get in your pants."

Naruto nodded. "You know, I'm not sure whether to be flattered that you noticed me or insulted by the fact that you were trying to make me a replacement for the original person you can't have. Ino, you're too nice and beautiful a person to be like this. You should just be yourself. You'd find a really nice guy that way."

She looked back at him then and smiled at him. "I already found a nice guy."

Naruto blushed slightly. "A few weeks ago Ino, I'd have probably been happy and willing. But I met someone...and now I can't imagine myself with anyone else."

"Damn...I missed out again. Ah well, I guess I'll get back to work. See you Naruto." Ino sighed and grumbled with a hand on her hip as she walked away with a wave. _'Why are all the nice guys always taken?'_

Naruto watched her walk away. He felt kind of bad for her. He wondered if he could find someone to hook her up with. Maybe that lazy guy he knows in accounting...he's single.

* * *

Sasuke walked through the door and tiredly dropped everything in the foyer. He stepped out of his shoes and walked through the house to the bedroom. He didn't want to do anything but lay down on his comfortable bed and ignore the world. He couldn't believe how bad today was. Naruto had done every possible thing to him today and he was so wiped out. He groaned and closed his eyes.

"Sasuke? Are you ok?" Hinata walked in and sat next to him.

"I'm fine Hinata, just tired."

"You look it. Was work that bad today?" She ran her hand through his hair and slowly rubbed his head.

"Hn...something like that." Ahh, that felt good.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Oh man...where to start..." He rolled on his side to face his wife. She smiled at him and took one of his hands in hers. "Why don't you start with why your hands are so red."

Sasuke chuckled humorlessly and shook his head. "Remember when Iruka was telling stories about Naruto's penchant for pranks?" She nodded. "Well, I was on the receiving end of it this time."

"Really?" She giggled.

"Oh sure, you can laugh. You didn't have to deal with your coffee being mixed with dirt, your computer going out, your soap being mixed with red dye which should explain the condition of my hands, a bunch of female strangers calling me because of an ad he put on Craigs List and a secretary trying to seduce you."

Hinata didn't really care until the very last one. "Wait, your secretary?" Sasuke rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"How did I know you would end up focusing on that part?"

Hinata glared. "Because your _secretary_ hit on you!"

"Well, it wasn't my fault. It was part of Naruto's pranking spree. It's not like I wanted her to. If anything I'd love her to stay as far away from me as possible."

"Then why is she your secretary?"

"Because she's good at what she does...even if she is somewhat...flirty." He pulled Hinata closer and kissed her slightly pouting lips. She wasn't happy about the news that he had a secretary who flirted with him. "Look, you have nothing to worry about."

She wrapped an arm and leg around his body and kissed him again before giving him a glare. "I know I don't. Because if you did anything, I'd kill you, my father would kill you, your mother AND father would kill you, and Naruto would kill you. And then I'd go kick the little hussy back to where ever she came from." She grinned and kissed Sasuke once more before getting up. "Dinner will be ready soon."

Sasuke groaned and rolled on his back with his arms spread across the bed. Hinata sure could be scary when she wanted. And she said all of that with a smile.

He shivered...

* * *

Itachi was in his office hard at work. No, not at Uchiha Enterprises, at his home office. Yes, he was at home. Naruto had shown him the advantages of actually leaving work and heading home at the end of the day. So even though Naruto wasn't there, he was trying to get into the habit of coming home earlier. Too bad Naruto was staying home all week. He'd love to have him just stay here. He was starting to wonder if it was too soon to start looking for a new place between the two Uchiha buildings. Of course, there was the whole would Naruto want to live with him issue that he'd have to ask about first. But maybe it was at least worth looking into.

But that was for another time. Right now he had important things to do. Like trying to decide Sasuke's punishment. Naruto had called yesterday regaling tales of Sasuke's Monday in prank hell. It was quite entertaining. Now it was his turn and he wasn't limiting it to Sasuke. Hinata would be a recipient of a bit of his revenge as well.

An idea had been starting to form in his head over the last couple of days. However, he was going to need a little bit of assistance to pull it off.

So, he called his father.

"Father, I have a question."

"Yes?"

"I was wondering, now that you're officially retired completely from the business, who will be taking care of performance evaluations."

"You, of course."

"Oh? And who exactly would I be evaluating?"

"All of the executives under you...Executive VP's, VP's, Admins, any department heads..." A slow smirk formed on Itachi's face. That was exactly the words he needed to hear.

"For your office, it will be easy since you're already based there. However, for let's say Sasuke's office, you'll need to be there to observe." Oh...this was looking better and better by the minute.

"I would usually spend about a week with the other offices just to get a feel for how everything runs on a normal basis. One day just won't do. People tend to be on their best behavior. They usually relax more after the first day."

"Hn." Oh yes...this would work out perfectly. Sasuke would be ready to kill him before the week was over. And just maybe while he was there he could finally play out that fantasy he's had in his head about having his way with Naruto on his desk. The smirk turned into a lusty grin.

"Thank you for the help father. I would like to see if I can schedule evaluations of Sasuke's building starting next Monday."

"I still have a copy of the criteria. I'll send it to you."

"Thanks."

Well, part one of his plan was now a go. And he had the whole weekend to work out the details. Now he had to work on how to get Hinata. She would be harder to deal with. She seemed to be immune to Uchiha intimidation._ 'Hmm...I might have to talk to Naruto when he comes tomorrow about using a prank on her if I can't think of anything.'_

* * *

Sasuke never was so happy to see Friday come in his life.

It had been a week of pranks. And even though, after the first couple of days of it, he was more prepared for the possibility, he was still surprised every time. Naruto seemed to be a genius at this prank thing.

There was the day he found his entire office wrapped in saran wrap.

Then the day he spent an hour trying to figure out why he couldn't seem to get any of his icons on his screen to work. A maintenance man that was working on one of the vents in his office ended up being the one who finally told him the trick of it. He couldn't believe how easy it was for Naruto to dupe him just by using the print screen.

And yesterday, somehow the idiot had been able to get into the ventilation shaft and placed who knows how much white confetti into it so that whenever the air was on it snowed in his office.

He was ecstatic that it was Friday. At least he knew the pranks would end. Unfortunately, he had to make it through today.

And he was scared to death of what could possibly happen.

He put his key in the lock. He was almost afraid to open the door.

Then he scoffed to himself. He was an Uchiha dammit! He wouldn't be afraid of some stupid prank.

He opened the door

Nothing happened.

Nothing.

He went to his computer and turned it on. Everything came up with no problem.

He opened his container of gourmet coffee and checked it. It was normal grounds.

He checked the air vent by his desk. It was clean.

Everything looked completely normal. Sasuke sighed in relief.

--

In his office, Naruto stretched his legs out on his desk while reading his email. He heard Sasuke walk into his own office. and chuckled. The poor teme was probably getting paranoid. He probably was searching his office right now for booby traps and he wished he could watch.

--

Sasuke sat back at his desk with a sigh. He'd checked every single inch of his office and didn't find anything abnormal. So maybe the dobe had finally finished his week of torture.

He looked through the papers Ino had left him to sign.

He pulled open his drawer to grab a pen...

--

Naruto heard the muffled sound of falling items and slowly grinned. His flip the drawers prank was a success.

"DAMN YOU NARUTO!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Naruto was smiling as he walked through the lobby. He had a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. This time he figured he would be prepared to stay the whole weekend. He noticed that weird perverted guy reading his stupid book...what was his name? Oh yeah, Kakashi. He waved as he passed by the porn lover.

"Yo blondie. Don't need keys this time huh?" He waggled his eyebrows at the blonde.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Pervert. And nope, got my own." He flashed a grin. He looked at the cover of the book in his hand and shook his head. "I can't believe you read that crap."

Kakashi gasped in mock pain. "This is not crap. This is art! You should read it." Naruto snorted.

"No thanks. Being related to the super pervert who writes the books is bad enough."

Kakashi chuckled. He already knew who Naruto actually was. The blond came from quite a bloodline. He kept the knowledge to himself though. If there was one thing he could pride himself on, it was his discretion. "So, think you could maybe get me an autographed copy?" Naruto laughed.

"Next time he cares enough to come see me, I'll see what I can do." He waved goodbye and made his way to Itachi's.

He unlocked the door and opened it finding the condo completely dark. That was weird. He didn't remember Itachi saying anything about not being home.

"Itachi?"

He closed the door and locked it then groped for a light switch in the dark. Suddenly he felt strong arms around his waist and a cool mouth on his neck. "Hello Naruto."

He shivered at the deep seductive voice. "Itachi." he breathed.

"I've been waiting for you." Those long thin fingers somehow had made it under his shirt to stroke his skin spreading goosebumps where he touched. Itachi couldn't get enough of the sexy blond. In no time at all Naruto had become as necessary as breathing.

Naruto turned around and pushed Itachi into the door, boldly taking control of the situation and kissed him. Itachi's eyes widened slightly at the action before closing as he allowed himself to just feel. Naruto was definitely not the typical uke. He was a dominant personality, he was strong, and he was aggressive when he wanted to be...and Itachi loved it. He moaned and parted his lips sucking on the wet appendage that slid into his mouth. Naruto's fingers unbuttoned the white shirt he still had on from work. Pushing it off, his mouth left Itachi's lips behind and moved down to his neck biting and sucking on the pale skin. Itachi winced slightly. He knew that last bite would leave a mark. Who knew his blond was so possessive.

Itachi had never really thought much about gay sex before he met Naruto. The moments he'd bothered to give it a passing thought, he had figured that being the uke would be damned painful, so why would anyone be crazy enough to bottom? Of course, as an Uchiha, it was just natural that he'd play the role of seme in any relationship. However, maybe it was love, or maybe he could just be considered in the crazy category, but the last couple of days he had been seriously giving thought to whether he'd ever be willing to bottom for Naruto. The more he thought about it, the more he thought he might actually be willing.

He growled and pushed off the door, swiftly changing their positions. Within seconds, Naruto found himself against the door naked with his legs wrapped around a thin waist moaning loudly as their uncovered erections ground together causing the most delicious friction.

It wouldn't be tonight though...

--

"So...did you come up with an idea?" Naruto asked lazily.

"Mmhmm." Itachi answered while he intertwined his fingers with Naruto's and held their hands up to examine it in the glowing candlelight. They had moved to the bedroom at some point and now they were naked and comfortably entwined under the sheets. People would probably look at them together and wonder. They looked like complete opposites. Yet they fit together, like perfect puzzle pieces. He kissed the back of Naruto's hand before letting go of the hand and turning on his side and announced with a smirk. "I'm coming to do performance evaluations starting Monday."

"You don't have to evaluate me do you?" Naruto started getting nervous, anything evaluation or test related never went well for him.

"No. Just executives. I'll be working out of your building for the entire week." Naruto started to laugh as he realized the implications.

"Oh man...the teme is going to have a fit when he finds out he has to share the office with you for a whole week." He grinned slyly at Itachi. "So, since you're not evaluating me, it wouldn't be problematic if I decide to do another prank right?"

"I thought you finished pranking him."

"This is the last one, promise. I just thought we could do this last one together since I'll need your help with it anyway."

"Hn. What kind of prank do you have in mind?"

"Depends... Do you have any baby pictures of Sasuke?"

* * *

Monday morning, Sasuke found Naruto already in his office when he walked in. He looked at the blond warily. "What are you doing here so early?"

Naruto shrugged. "I came from Itachi's. He had some stuff to do early so I left with him."

Sasuke wasn't all that convinced.

"You afraid to step into your office?" Naruto asked knowingly.

"NO! Of course not." _'Hell yes.'_

"Don't worry, I'm done toying with your office. I think I've done everything I could possibly do." He laughed.

Sasuke glared. "You know I hate you. And I had planned to tease you last week about you and Itachi, but damn you for making me forget with all of your pranks."

Naruto grinned. "What can I say? I'm a master." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Whatever dobe." He left the room and headed for his office.

It was at exactly 10:05 a.m. that his day went to hell.

He was standing at Ino's desk going over some proposals he needed her to type up. She had been paying complete attention to him, but all of a sudden her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped.

"Ino, do I have something on my face?"

"..."

"Ino?" Sasuke didn't understand that Ino had checked out of the conversation completely. For she was staring at the gorgeous sight behind him. Within seconds she had come up with about 10 different fantasies regarding said sex god. This man was even hotter than Sasuke! At that moment, she was praying that the man was unattached because she had already seen that he was lacking a ring on the finger.

Sasuke had finally figured out that something else must have had her attention. So he turned around and came face to face with "Itachi?!"

"Hello little brother."

* * *

Itachi stood looking out of the picture window, ignoring the glares of his younger brother.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Itachi turned and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Wow, one would think you weren't happy to see your own brother. I'm wounded." Itachi feigned sadness.

"Spare me Itachi. I'm not buying it. Why are you here?"

Itachi grinned and took an envelope out of his jacket pocket and wordlessly passed it to Sasuke. He opened the envelope and his eyes sped through the paper. By the time he finished reading, he had a crease in his forehead and one hand was balled into a fist. Finally, after he had taken a few deep breaths to calm his anger he looked up at Itachi.

"You couldn't have given me some warning?"

"I just found out from father over the weekend."

"You didn't have to do evaluations this week. You could have talked to me and we could've come up with a better time."

"Yes, I could have."

Sasuke growled and tossed the paper back at the man who never seemed rattled. "You're such an ass!"

"Tsk tsk...Language Sasuke."

"It's my office, I can say what I want. And you can put THAT in my evaluation!"

Itachi nodded and figured he would now lower the boom. "So, where should I put my things?"

Sasuke raised a brow. What was he talking about? "Things?"

"Yes. Since you are the head of this branch you will take part in some of the evaluations. It's only right that I share the office." Itachi kept a straight face, but internally he wanted to laugh at the look on his brother's face.

What the...there was no freaking way in hell he was sharing an office with his sadist of a brother. "But I'm sure you would be much more comfortable in an office of your own."

"I don't want to displace anyone. Besides, I won't take up much space at all. As long as I have an outlet for my laptop and a table and chair, I will be just fine."

Sasuke read between those lines quite well. He was really saying 'I am staying in your office whether you like it or not.' Damn arrogant prick!

"You're doing this just to make my life miserable." Itachi chuckled.

"Sasuke, you're being paranoid. This is just business."

_'Like hell I am.'_ Sasuke was pissed. But there was nothing he could do. He sighed, resigned at the inevitable. "I'll make sure someone has a table set up for you." Itachi nodded his thanks.

"Also, I need you to call a meeting with your employees so they can know what is going on."

Sasuke wanted to roll his eyes, but he wouldn't put it past his own brother to write down that he was resisting authority. "Anything else you need?"

"Not at this time." Itachi figured he'd annoyed his poor brother enough for one hour.

Sasuke left the room without a word, closing the door behind him. He gave Ino directions to take care of everything Itachi had asked for and then walked briskly to the employee restroom. He'd have no peace if he went to his own and he needed to get away from Itachi before he lost it. He locked himself in one of the only stalls with a door. He wanted to sit but he took one look at the seat and thought about how many possible germs resided there and decided there was no way in hell. He sighed and leaned against one of the side walls and banged the back of his head against it.

It had only been a little over an hour and he was ready to kill either his brother or himself.

How in the world was he going to last a week?!

* * *

Sasuke and Itachi made quite an imposing duo as they walked into the board room. His entire staff was waiting there as instructed. The conversations slowly trickled to a halt at the sight of the two dark haired figures standing at the front of the room.

"Good morning everyone." Sasuke smoothly began. "I apologize for the short notice of this meeting but a couple of things needed to be brought to your attention that could not wait. This is Itachi Uchiha." He gestured to his expressionless older brother next to him. "He will be here for this week evaluating some of our staff. So please make him feel...welcome." He almost choked on the word. He looked at his brother and raised his brow as if to ask 'Is there anything you would like to add?'

"As Sasuke said, I will be doing performance evaluations, specificaly the executives and department heads. So business will continue as usual. Just think of me as any other staff member. That is all for now, so everyone except those who will be evaluated are dismissed." Sasuke wasn't too happy to see his brother ordering his staff around like he was the boss. So he expressed his displeasure with a low growl that he knew no one could hear but Itachi.

Itachi ignored him and gestured to everyone left to have a seat. Sasuke sat next to him and proceeded to sulk while Itachi explained what the next four and half days would be like.

Sasuke swore that God must hate him.

* * *

Tuesday was no better.

"Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"Since you're going that direction, please get me a bottle of water."

"Alright."

--

"Sasuke?"

"What?"

"Please have Ino type this up and make 10 copies."

"Hn."

--

"Sasuke?"

"What do you want Itachi?"

"I need you to call these people into the office."

"..."

"..."

"What do I look like? Your personal errand boy?" Sasuke growled.

Itachi smirked. He had wondered how long it would take for his little brother to stop being so compliant.

--

Sasuke knew the only way to get away from Itachi was to leave his precious office behind. So he decided to head to Naruto's office. Anything would be better than his own. He knocked on the door and peeked in.

"Hey teme." Naruto smiled at his friend. Inside though, he wanted to laugh. The poor Uchiha looked ready to jump out of a high window.

"You mind if I just stay here for a while?" Naruto shrugged and gestured to the couch. Sasuke took advantage and flopped down on his back.

"Naruto, kill me...please."

Naruto couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. "Come on teme, it can't be that bad."

Sasuke opened one eye and glared at the dobe without saying a word. It was the worst thing he could imagine. Ok, sure he had enough sense to know what was really going on. Naruto spent all last week getting him back. Now he guessed it was Itachi's turn. But really, did he deserve the prank week from hell one week only to deal with another week of hell the next? All for being nice enough to set up his brother with his best friend? OK fine, he had ulterior motives, but still...

A knock interrupted them.

A dark head poked in. "Hey Naruto, have you seen Sasuke?" He stepped in a bit further, turned his head, and at seeing his little brother lying on the couch, he smirked.

Sasuke saw the smirk and glared.

He swore that Itachi had to be the devil in disguise.

* * *

Of course, the week was not always easy for Itachi either.

He was within one office of his lover but had hardly any time to talk to him, let alone do what he really wanted. And worse, he had to deal with a flirty secretary. How Sasuke dealt with her every day, he had no idea.

"Good morning Mr. Uchiha." _'Speak of the devil.'_

"Good morning Miss Yamanaka."

"I thought I told you to call me Ino."

"Hn." _'As if I'd give you the satisfaction.'_

"So, do you have any plans for lunch today?"

"I will be doing evaluations _all_ day."

"Oh." But Ino was nothing if not persistent. "What about tomorrow?"

"Same." Itachi was doing his best to stay calm, but he was starting to get annoyed. And an annoyed Itachi was an evil Itachi.

"Friday then. It's your last day so you should be less busy."

"_Miss _Yamanaka. If you are desperately seeking a man, look somewhere else. I am not interested. And never will be." There, that was said nicely enough. And before she could say anything more, he turned on his heel and disappeared into the office.

Where he heard a snicker.

He looked up and saw his brother grinning evilly at him. Stupid little brother and his stupid flirting secretary.

"Shut up Sasuke."

* * *

It was late Thursday afternoon when Itachi had finally gotten a long deserved break from the evaluation monotony.

And he knew exactly what he was going to do with it.

--

Naruto was on the phone when he heard a knock on the door. He saw Itachi poke his head in and he smiled waving him in as he kept talking to his difficult client. He held up a finger to ask him to wait a minute.

"...Yes, I completely understand. Listen, why don't you talk to your people and go over the numbers with them and then let me know...Ok great...I'll talk to you then...Goodbye." He hung up and smiled up at his boyfriend. "So, you've been a busy man."

"Hn." Itachi nodded. "And I'm not finished. I'm about to do another evaluation right now."

"I thought you were done for today." Itachi shook his head.

"I still have you to evaluate."

Naruto blanched. "But...I thought...I'm not an executive?"

"True, but because of your unique position, it's better that I personally evaluate your performance." He slowly walked over to the edge of the desk. "You'll need to stand up for this."

Naruto looked at him weirdly, but stood up anyway.

Itachi grinned at the sexy blond and pulled him closer.

"Itachi...what are you doing?"

"I'm about to start your evaluation. I think I'll start right about here." Itachi's lips pressed against Naruto's. He moaned and kissed him back.

Itachi broke the kiss and smirked before turning Naruto around without warning. "I think I need to examine how well you perform." His hands slid down to Naruto's waist and unbuckled his belt then unfastened and pushed off his pants and boxers in one motion.

"I-Itachi...wait...we can't do this here!" Naruto's eyes were wide, even as he placed his palms against the desk. And then his cursed body betrayed him. Despite his misgivings about where he was, he could already feel himself getting hard.

"Hmm...I think you like this idea no matter what you say." Itachi murmured against the blond's ear. He sucked on the lobe and then nibbled down the side of the tanned neck while Naruto bit back a moan. "Besides, the door is locked so we'll have complete privacy for the length of this evaluation."

Naruto suddenly felt a hand wrap around him and he let loose a throaty moan. "Itachi..."

--

Sasuke was enjoying the peace without Itachi's presence until he heard a weird sound.

He heard it again. _'Was that a moan?'_ That sounded like it came from Naruto's office. He heard it again and his eyebrow rose.

No way...they couldn't be doing _that_...

He picked up his phone and pressed speed dial.

--

Naruto jumped as he heard his phone ring.

"Ignore it."

"I can't _-moan-_ it's Sasuke." Itachi growled and moved in a way that made Naruto's knees buckle.

"I'm not stopping." He emphasized it with a deep hard thrust breaking the slow rhythm that he had set.

Naruto gasped then tried to calm his breathing even while Itachi kept moving and answered. "Yes?"

"You better not be doing what I think you are in there."

He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut as another vicious thrust hit his spot. "NO! Not...at all." Itachi leaned over wrapping his arm around the blond's waist and quickened the pace. He moved the phone away from his mouth to let out his breath in a whoosh, his legs shaking and on the verge of collapse. He put the phone back up to his ear. "He's giving me...AH...evaluation."

"Ah. Well, tell him to take as long as he wants. It's the first time I've had some peace all week."

Naruto was hardly listening anymore. His entire upper body had collapsed onto the desk one hand gripping the edge like a lifeline, using every single bit of self control to keep from crying out. "Ok teme bye." he said quickly and hung up. "Oh god Itachi." he groaned.

Itachi grinned evilly and Naruto knew he was done for. "You're going to scream for me Naruto."

--

Sasuke hung up and went back to what he was typing. A few moments later his eyes went wide as he heard a somewhat muffled scream.

_'Oh hell no. Why me?'_ He repeatedly hit his forehead against his desk. He would be so glad when this week was over.

--

Itachi walked out of Naruto's office with not one hair out of place. He looked over at Ino with a smirk. He wouldn't have to worry about her trying to flirt with him ever again.

Her mouth was agape. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Then she saw Naruto walk out of his office with a slight limp he tried unsuccessfully to cover up. She felt the sudden urge to cry. How could someone that hot be gay? And how did Naruto somehow land him?

* * *

Sasuke was for the second week in a row thanking God that it was Friday. Only an hour left before he could kick Itachi out of his office and not have to worry about seeing him here in this building for a long _long _time.

He, Itachi and Naruto were walking back to his office after having a meeting with a prospective client. When they passed by the receptionist, Sasuke heard a giggle. He stopped for a moment. He'd never heard her giggle at him before. He turned to look back at her and she gave him a smile and a wave. _'Weird.'_

What he didn't know was that Naruto had looked at Itachi and winked while the older Uchiha smirked.

Sasuke walked on. Every female he passed for some reason was giggling. He discreetly patted himself down and looked over himself to make sure he didn't have anything embarrassing on him. He wouldn't put it past Naruto to do something stupid like that. But seems he was clean. He shook his head in confusion and continued on.

It was when he passed Ino that he knew something was weird. Ino winked at him on the way by and giggled. Now normally that wouldn't be weird except that Ino never winks at him without flirting at the same time. So the fact that she didn't say anything flung up all kinds of red flags in his head. He had to know what was going on.

And suddenly, Naruto and Itachi were conspicuously MIA.

"Ino, what is going on?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing at all. You're so cute, that's all."

An eyebrow rose. "I am?"

"Yep, see." She turned her computer screen so he could see it and he immediately blushed red from head to toe most likely.

For her newest wallpaper was a picture of him when he was 4 years old.

His mother had taken that embarrassing picture of him. He had just gotten out of the tub and the position he was in showed his naked backside.

"How the hell did you get that?!"

"You emailed it silly."

"Like hell I did. Let me see." Ino opened her email and showed the email sent by him. He opened it and saw that it was sent to every single Uchiha Enterprises employee in this building. Sasuke saw red. He slammed the door of his office and picked up his phone.

"Hello?"

"Wherever you are, you better stay there. Because the moment I see you I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

He heard a chuckle. "Teme can't you take a joke?"

"Naruto..." he growled.

"And Itachi helped."

"_Naruto._"

"Besides, the girls think it's so cute."

"NARUTO!!!"

* * *

Hinata had been spending the day with Hanabi. They hadn't had the chance to have any sister bonding in a while so she took her out to shop and eat. After a long day of shopping for things she didn't need but bought anyway, she dropped her sister off and drove home. She was looking forward to taking a nice hot bath before Sasuke got home. She even brought him some dinner so she wouldn't have to cook tonight.

She turned into her driveway, not even paying much attention to what she was doing, it was so ingrained. She opened the door and got out walking to the trunk. It was at that moment she looked up. Her mouth dropped open. She closed her eyes figuring she had to be losing it. She opened her eyes again and when she did, she screamed.

Why?

Her beautiful pristine white house was now a bright garish orange with black trim.

Hinata did something she hadn't done since she was in grade school.

She fainted.

* * *

At a certain famous casino in Monte Carlo, a buxom woman with long blonde hair was playing black jack. She looked quite young but her companion looked old enough to be her father. However, he looked respectable enough with his spiky white hair somewhat flattened against his head and in a black suit. He didn't seem all that interested in the game though. He was too busy giggling while ogling the group of young females scantily dressed on the other side of the room. At least until he heard a sudden gasp from his companion.

"Oh no!"

Jiraiya turned to his wife. "What?"

"I won."

"That's great!"

"No, it's not. I'm the legendary sucker. I never win. This is bad. Something has to be wrong."

Tsunade immediately got up pulling her husband with her.

"Hey! Wait!" He scrambled to grab their winnings.

"We're going home."

"But that's only a block away, you could have left me where I was."

"No, we're going _home_. Back to Japan."

--

--

_Edited 3/20/09_

**a/n:** So that's a wrap! It's really been fun writing this for your enjoyment. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. And YAY! I converted a few people to the awesomeness of Ita/Naru! Anyways, look for the sequel to be out most likely after the holidays. I might get a side story tied to this one out before then that will be Genma/Iruka if I get some time and inspiration. I already have the sequel planned out in my head somewhat, as you could possibly tell in this chapter if you read a bit between the lines. It will be completely different from this...still Ita/Naru, there will be some new characters, some other characters that didn't have much of a role will show up, and hopefully will turn out to be just as funny as this one was. I'll put up a notice on this story when the sequel comes out. Thank all of you for the great reviews and support throughout. :)

Oh, and no pristine white houses were hurt by orange paint in this chapter. In my little world, the orange and black will wash off with the next rain. ;)

Ja ne and thanks for reading!


	15. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

Alrighty, I know you've been waiting patiently for it.

And it's taken me forever to really start thinking about it again after I finished the first part and went on to other more angsty endeavors.

But the wait is finally over! I finally got the sequel started and the prologue is now up! It's called **Guess Who…** Yes, the ellipsis are intentional. You'll see why when you get into the actual chapters.

It'll be slow going since I'm juggling 3 fics already, but I will try to have regular updates. So please be patient with your humble writer who juggles writing a bunch of different fics, works full time, and still tries to keep up with my anime and manga.

And hopefully, it will turn out to be as fun as TGILC. There will be more pairings, more insanity, and a bit of angst on the side. As usual, if you have any thoughts or ideas as you read along, let me know. I'm always up for some ideas. You see how well some of those turned out in TGILC.

Well, I hope you'll enjoy **Guess Who…** as much as **The Get Itachi Laid Challenge**.

Happy reading! :)


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